Stopping Self-Sabotage: How to Get Out of Your Own Way

2021-08-08 ~ adminlife

There’s a lot of truth to the quote, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” We get in our own way far more than life, other people, or bad luck sabotage our success. We really are our own worst enemy. You’d be amazed by how much easier your life would be if you weren’t constantly sabotaging your success.

It boggles the mind why we stand in our own way, but we do. Understanding that fact is half the battle to overcoming it.

Try these techniques to stop sabotaging yourself:

Let go of the past. Mistakes from the past don’t mean that you’re doomed to failure in the future. The past should be used as educational material, not as a predictor of the future. Leave your past in the past and create the future you desire.
Avoid talking to yourself unless you’re going to say something nice. You spend too much time saying negative things to yourself. Eventually, you begin to believe them. Such negative input gives you an incorrect opinion of yourself and your capabilities. Ensure that your self-talk is supportive and positive.
Notice your habits that sabotage your success. Think about what you want to be successful at and notice your habits that stand in your way. For example, if you want to lose weight, but you eat a bag of chips every time you’re stressed, that habit is sabotaging your success.
- Make a list of all the habits that sabotage your success. Write down all the ways in which those habits inhibit your success. What is the cost of each of those habits? Being aware of the damage these habits cause can make it easier to change them.
Define your fear. All self-sabotage is rooted in fear. What exactly are you afraid of? Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself? Are you afraid of finding out that you’re not capable? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of how people will view you?
- Understand the basic fear that is causing you to sabotage yourself. Unless you can either get over that fear or remove it, you’ll continue to get in your own way.
Know your ceiling. Notice how far you can go before you begin sabotaging yourself. For example, perhaps you’re stuck at a particular income level. What income level do you get stuck at? If you’re trying to lose weight, at what point do you begin sabotaging yourself? We all have a ceiling for each part of our lives. Understand yours and seek to understand why.
Identify and change your beliefs. What are the beliefs that stand in your way? For example, do you believe that you’re naturally a chubby person that can never get below a certain weight? Do you believe that you can never be a successful writer because you failed high school English?
- Look at all of your beliefs related to the part of your life you want to be more successful in. Which of those beliefs are getting in your way?
Notice the people that get in your way. Sometimes, we allow people into our lives that don’t really want the best for us. You’ll find that few people are truly interested in seeing you live up to your full potential.
- Avoid believing that it’s acceptable to allow someone to get in your way. If they choose to be an obstacle, consider removing them from your life.

The good news is that easier to control yourself than it is to control others or circumstances outside of yourself. Since you are the source of your challenges, you also have the power to eliminate them. Never underestimate how much you’re standing in your own way!

Book a 15-minute “Get to know you” call by clicking on the blue button below

and we can talk about how getting rid of self-sabotage in your life moves you toward success

To your success

Michael

P.S. if you have always thought that you should have a Life Coach on your personal team to help you create the best year of your life but were put off by the cost and the time requirement, I have created a Self-paced course that covers what we would do when working together.

While not the same as working one-on-one with a Life Coach, this self-paced course can help you to understand your present situation, how you got there and how to set goals that will move you forwards to success.

Click on the logo below to find out more about the course

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Self-Talk

2016-09-152016-09-13 ~ adminlife

What is Self-Talk?

Do you know that inner voice that always seems to be going? It is constantly “telling” you what you should do, what you might do, and reflecting on things you have already done. It evaluates what you do while you’re doing it, providing opinions and suggesting possible ramifications and outcomes. This is one type of inner monologue which psychologists have identified and labeled as “self-talk”.

To get a better idea of exactly what self-talk is, psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne likens self talk to the “equivalent of sports announcers commenting on a player’s successes or failures on the playing field.” Unlike athletes that never hear a television or radio sports commentator’s voice, you definitely “hear” what your self-talk is telling you.

Unfortunately, this voice you seem to have no control over can be negative sometimes.

Think about the last time you did something embarrassing. You may have experienced self-talk telling you how stupid you were. Sometimes it is critical even if you haven’t done anything wrong. It reminds you that you are probably going to mess something up, because you’ve done it in the past.

As it turns out, you can respond with negative and positive self-talk to the same situation. It all depends on how you lead your thoughts. For instance, pretend that you have just eaten at a restaurant that all your friends think is amazing. You thought it was overpriced, the food was average at best, the service stunk and you had to wait too long for your food.

You find yourself at a party with your friends, when several of them corner you and excitedly ask you what you thought about the restaurant they recommended. You tell them your feelings, holding nothing back. They all say you are crazy, that it is the greatest restaurant of all time.

Your inner dialogue can respond in 2 different ways.

Perhaps you tell yourself, “Why didn’t you just keep your mouth shut!? Now you look like an idiot.” In response to the exact same situation, you could choose positive, constructive self-talk instead. You could say, “Good for you, for sticking to your beliefs. You reported exactly what happened, you didn’t overstate the situation, and it’s okay if your friends disagree with you about this unimportant topic.”

Psychologists believe that consistently driving your self-talk in a positive, constructive direction can train your mind to respond that way. At first you will not find yourself able to redirect your inner voice. It will simply blurt out a subconscious response. However, by continually appraising dysfunctional self-talk and turning it around, you create less stress in your life, boost your self-esteem, and feel good about your inner dialogue.

To your success

Michael W

Combating Negative Thinking with Positive Self-Talk

2016-05-242016-05-23 ~ adminlife

“Learn to catch yourself and stop yourself immediately when you are engaging in negative self-talk.” ― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

Positive Self-talk Defeats Negative Thinking

Do you talk yourself out of being excited and hopeful every time you feel good about yourself? Do you often start out feeling confident in yourself and your abilities, and then drop to zero confidence when your inner dialogue kicks in?

This negative thinking is something many people struggle with, but there’s a better way.

You can combat negative thoughts with positive-self talk instead of letting an automatic negative thought process rule your life.

Negative Thinking, Positive Self-Talk, and You

Many people lack the confidence to realize that they deserve to feel good about themselves. These people never pay attention to the fact that they are the ones telling themselves that they don’t deserve rewards.

Are you one of these people? You can discover if you are sabotaging yourself by tuning into your thoughts and listening. What do you hear? Are you encouraging yourself with positive thoughts? Or are your thoughts filled with negatives?

* You may not even realize how negative thinking may be dominating your life. This may be something that you deal with daily and have come to see as normal. However, it’s only normal if you allow it to be that way!

Positive self-talk is the practice of responding to negative thoughts that run through your mind. For example, when you tell yourself that you can’t possibly land the job because you aren’t good enough, you can respond with positive thoughts that do not leave room for negativity. These thoughts can be as simple or complex as you like. The important thing is that you continue to think positively.

* Positive self-talk allows you to be the one controlling your thoughts!

Many people pair positive self-talk with affirmations. Affirmations are simple statements you can repeat to yourself over and over again. You can allow these thoughts to become true for you. The process is as subconscious as it is conscious.

When you continue to reaffirm the positive thought, you will make it true for yourself until you eventually don’t need to remind yourself to think that way.

* Affirmations are positive statements that replace your negative thought processes. You can change your life one thought at a time!

When you are feeling low and thinking negatively about yourself or your future, try saying, “I give myself permission to be successful,” or “I see myself in the winner’s circle.”

Strive to replace your negative statements with positive thoughts when you repeat your affirmations. Soon it will become second nature to repeat your affirmations anytime that you start to think negatively.

* With positive self-talk you can truly change the course of your life. You can go from being a negative person with no hope for the future, to being an optimist who can achieve anything you put you mind to.

Does this mean that there won’t be challenges along the way, or that you’ll never fail? No, because those things are a part of life. But what it will mean is that you’ll have a better attitude, which will allow you to grasp the very best that life has to offer.

Positive self-talk isn’t difficult and it’s worth the effort that is involved because it can truly change the way you view yourself and the world that you live in.

To your success

Michael W