The Reason Why You Fail

2023-03-31 ~ adminlife

You may shake your head and disagree but the reason is: you don’t want to succeed.

You are saying of course you want to succeed and I have lost my mind. It seems to be crazy to say that you fail to achieve something because you don’t want to succeed.

Your self-talk and limiting beliefs are the two main things that can hold you back.

You can try to fix these by yourself or you can work with a Life Coach.

This short video talks to these points and offers you a solution.

https://vimeo.com/800646997

You can contact me to book the call mentioned in the video at

https://calendly.com/michael-coach/strategy-session

If you want to find out more about the Self-talk Program, and register before talking tome, you can do so at the website Self-talk Program

It actually isn’t that crazy.

You are in the present moment, the here and now. When looked at objectively, your life is nothing more than a continuous series of present moments. You can’t change your past and you are preparing for the eventual reality you will create.

Right now, you are not concerned about what you want to achieve in the future. Your psyche understands that it can only impact the here and now.

Your psyche looks at what is going on now around you. It sees that you are breathing and existing so it is happy. Do you know what makes your psyche unhappy?

Trying to change what is happening now.

It knows that you are alive and well so why bother changing anything? This could make things bad for you. When you try to take actions that you are not used to doing, such as doing something to achieve a big goal, you get push-back from your subconscious.

Your survival instinct is stopping you from succeeding.

You can defeat this natural resistance to change.

You should be applauding yourself. Most people are happy to live their current lives. For them good enough is good enough, and they don’t want to even try to make their lives better.

You aren’t one of them. You want to kick failure out to the curb and achieve success.

You can do this because you can change your mindset through conscious self-talk.

Talk to your subconscious and tell yourself that the change you want to make is good. This trains your subconscious to lead itself to conscious actions for success.

In front of a mirror, tell yourself out loud what your big goal is. Talk about the new amazing reality. Tell it why you want to make this change. What will this positive result replace in your life?

Tell yourself all of these things in the morning and before you go to bed. Write them all down and read them over to yourself several times each day.

To beat your natural resistance to change, you need to give a detailed image to your subconscious on how these changes will improve your life.

Several times every day engage in this self-talk. You have to continuously convince your subconscious that you are making changes to create a new better life.

To work together to help you get moving in the right direction in your life, click on the blue button below to book a 45-minute, no obligation “Get to know you” call.

Going alone on creating a better life is difficult. Find out how working with a Life Coach can make the journey to success and a better life easier.

Book the call now.

To your success

Michael

P.S You can subscribe to my new biweekly newsletter: “Helping You to Live a Better Life” by visiting and registering at Newsletter.

Photo by Ifrah Akhter on Unsplash

Amazing Self-talk

2022-08-03 ~ adminlife

Playing in your head constantly and has a dynamic impact is your self-talk. These conversations that you have determine your actions and your emotions. There are different types of self-talk and each has an advantage once you learn how to use them.

Self-talk – General

Raise awareness about your self-talk. You may not even be aware of what you are saying to yourself as self-talk is so natural. You first must become conscious of the commentary about your life that you are hearing in your mind.

Disrupt your old patterns. You can make change using self-talk. If you have a fear of numbers from a past experience, you can take a course on-line and practice when you talk to yourself while comparing prices when you go shopping.

If you would like to listen to these types of articles, you can visit my podcasts at

These are short, usually under 5 minutes but they can enable you to listen to confidence and motivation advice and tips while driving or relaxing.

Take action. When you are talking to yourself, include a call to action that focuses on goals that challenge you but that you can attain.

Do a reality check. What is really happening around you and how does your self-talk measure up? There is a big difference between making a small mistake and being a failure.

Talk with others. Feedback from others is valuable to obtain. What do your coworkers or your partner say about you and how does that compare to your own impression about yourself?

Consistency. Before a message is accepted, it must often be heard many times. With practice, your inner dialogue will become wiser.

Be friends with yourself. Sometimes we speak harsher to ourselves that to other people. You need to talk to yourself like you would to a friend. You have to be truthful and supportive to yourself.

Self-talk – Motivational

Build yourself up. It is in situations that require endurance and confidence where motivational self-talk works best. You can have confidence in your worth and your abilities with a good pep talk.

What are your hot buttons? Choose the words that will invigorate you. It could mean that you call yourself a superhero or just remind yourself how awesome you are.

Brevity. Short phrases and single words are the best to keep you staying on track. These will help you to better focus on your assets instead of being distracted by any nagging doubt.

Self-talk – Instructional

Get an early start. Instructional self-talk is ideal when you start a new project. Being your own coach during the beginning stages is very important.

Precision. Break your tasks down into specific steps. For public speaking, it may be to make eye contact, use a pace that is appropriate and make sure that you sound enthusiastic during your speech.

Visualize. See yourself achieving the results you want at the completion of the task.

Self-talk – Reassuring

Acknowledge your feelings. You can manage tense moments with comfort and skill when you use soothing self-talk. Accept your emotions instead of always trying to suppress them. Even if you are feeling afraid, you can act courageously.

Create some distance. To perform better under stress, it has been found that if you substitute the word “you” for “I” and call yourself by name it helps a great deal. When you are feeling the pressure, this can help to restore objectivity.

Be positive. Your challenges won’t disappear when you use self-talk but you will be able to respond more constructively. Don’t criticize a past misstep, but learn and concentrate on doing better the next time.

Channel your self-talk to get yourself moving in a positive direction. Take the thoughts that are constantly running through your head and turn them into an encouraging stream. When you do this, you will reduce your stress as well as enhance your self-confidence. This will enable you to enjoy more success in your life.

To work together to help you get moving in the right direction in your life, click on the blue button below to book a 15-minute, no obligation “Get to know you” call.

Going alone on creating a better life is difficult. Find out how working with a Life Coach to remove your pain points, can make the journey to success and a better life easier.

Book the call now.

To your success

Michael

P.S. you know that living a life that is in balance is important. When you can balance your work, family, health, relationships, fitness and money, you feel better and can achieve your goals. You have the support of your family and friends which makes life worth living.

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

Photo by neida zarate on Unsplash

Amazing Self-talk in 5 Minutes

2022-06-15 ~ adminlife

The impact of the self-talk that is constantly going on inside your head is dramatic. Your actions and emotions are determined by the conversations you have with yourself. There are different types of self-talk.

General Self-talk

Raise your awareness. You have been talking to yourself for many years that your self-talk has become so natural that you may not really understand what you are saying. You must become aware of what you are saying about your life.

If you would like to listen to these types of articles, you can visit my podcasts at

These are short, usually under 5 minutes but they can enable you to listen to confidence and motivation advice and tips while driving or relaxing.

Pattern disruption. A tool for making life changes is self-talk. Your fear of numbers may have been caused by receiving a bad grade in a math class and has been reinforced. Now you can take many online courses to help you in any type of math.

Take some action. When you are giving yourself your internal speeches, include a call to action. You should focus on attainable goals.

Do a reality check. Check to see if your self-talk is actually a reflection of what is actually going on around you. The difference between being a failure in the kitchen and just burning one slice of toast is huge.

Talk to others. It is valuable to get feedback from others. What do you colleagues and your partner say about you and ate your impressions the same?

Consistency. Before you accept a message, you usually have to hear it many times. With practice, your self-talk will get wiser.

Be your own friend. You don’t speak as harshly to your friends, or others, than you do to yourself. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a close friend. You should be truthful and supportive to yourself.

Motivation Self-talk

Strengthen yourself. In situations were you need endurance and confidence, motivational self-talk works best. You can increase your confidence and belief in your worth and your abilities with a good pep talk.

Identify your hot buttons. What words invigorate you? Call yourself a superhero and remind yourself how awesome you are.

Keep it short. You stay on track easier when you use single words or short phrases. You won’t be distracted by any doubts and you will be better able to focus on your assets.

Instructional Self-talk

Begin early. A great opportunity for instructional self-talk is at the start of a new project. During the important starting phase is a good time to coach yourself.

Be specific and precise. Break down your tasks into specific parts. For public speaking, you could use: make eye contact, get your pacing correct and be enthusiastic.

See your success. See yourself achieving the results you want.

Reassuring Self-talk

Acknowledging your feelings. You can manage your tense moments and have more comfort by having a soothing self-talk. Even if you feel afraid, you will have the best results if you accept your emotions.

Create some distance. People will perform better under stress if they call themselves by their name or replacing the word you instead of using the word I. When you are under pressure this is one way to restore objectivity.

Focus on the positive. Your life challenges won’t disappear just by using self-talk, but you can respond in a more constructive manner. Concentrate on doing better in the future instead of replaying and criticizing yourself for any past mistake.

Start moving yourself in a positive direction with your self-talk. Learn what the thoughts that are going through your head are saying, and if they are negative, change them into a stream of encouragement. You will enjoy more success in your life and reduce stress, and enhance your self-confidence with the right self-talk.

To work together to help you get moving in the right direction in your life, click on the blue button below to book a 15-minute, no obligation “Get to know you” call.

Going alone on creating a better life is difficult. Find out how working with a Life Coach to remove your pain points, can make the journey to success and a better life easier.

Book the call now.

To your success

Michael

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

Photo by Alysha Rosly on Unsplash

Stop Negative Self-Talk Quickly with These Steps

2022-03-30 ~ adminlife

One of the most critical mindset shifts you can make in your life is to eliminate negative self-talk. Although everyone seems to understand the importance of this shift, most people still struggle with it.

Negative, destructive self-talk disrupts your productivity and life goals. You have countless negative conversations happening inside your head throughout your day, and these negative statements can leave you feeling frustrated, angry, defeated, or depressed.

It is normal to want to solve all of your problems, but self-criticism doesn’t help.

If you catch yourself engaging in this type of negative self-talk, you can learn how to quickly switch gears and redirect your thoughts to more positive ones.

This process can take practice, but you will notice a positive difference in your thoughts and mindset if you try a little each day.

If you would like to listen to these types of articles, you can visit my podcasts at

These are short, usually under 5 minutes but they can enable you to listen to confidence and motivation advice and tips while driving or relaxing.

So what can you do starting today to help halt negative self-talk? These tips will help:

Take a deep breath. People resort to beating themselves up because they feel overwhelmed, have too much to do, or don’t know how to change their thoughts. If this is you, take a deep breath

- It helps you momentarily slow down your thought process and realize that you are not in a position to change everything. Instead of thinking about how you can change your circumstances, try to focus on the things you can control at this moment.

Acknowledge your thoughts. Regardless of your negative self-talk stage, it’s important to acknowledge it. It’s very natural (and healthy) to have negative thoughts. Try not to ignore them. Instead, take them as a signal from your mind that change is needed.

- For example, if you’re feeling defeated, allow yourself to take a moment to give in to those feelings and realize that it’s normal to feel disappointed in yourself and your abilities. Once you have admitted your feelings, you can refocus on what matters in your life.

Identify the cause. Take a minute to think about what’s behind your negative thoughts.

- Are your complaints and negative self-talk rooted in your inability to practice your strengths, talents, and abilities?
- For example, if you have fantastic communication skills but keep letting your negative self-talk overshadow that fact, it’s time you learned to harness your talents.
- There’s a good chance you’ll realize that your fears and negative feelings were all in your head.

Create a routine. Building a pattern enables you to take less time, thoughts, and energy in negativity. Working through your negative self-talk is the best way to get past your toxic feelings.

- And you’ll have an easier time working through them if you wake up to a planned day, with not much to think about with regards to how you’re going to start your day. After all, negative self-talk overwhelms you with unnecessary stress.
- If you rise at the same time, have the same breakfast, and exercise at the same time daily, you don’t have much to overthink and get yourself worked up.

Consciously work to silence your thoughts. Your mind can power through negative thoughts by itself, but your mind doesn’t want to. You have to give it a helping hand. When you notice you’re about to indulge in negative self-talk, snap out of it.

- Make a conscious effort to let the thoughts pass without acting on them. The more you practice this, the better you’ll get at controlling your negative thinking.

Your mindset is the driving force behind all of your actions, so it’s imperative to learn how to shift your thoughts when negative self-talk begins. You have the power to change your life by changing the way you think about yourself!

To work together to help you get moving in the right direction in your life, click on the blue button below to book a 15-minute, no obligation “Get to know you” call.

Going alone on creating a better life is difficult. Find out how working with a Life Coach can make the journey to success and a better life easier.

Book the call now.

To your success

Michael

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Stopping Self-Sabotage: How to Get Out of Your Own Way

2021-08-08 ~ adminlife

There’s a lot of truth to the quote, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” We get in our own way far more than life, other people, or bad luck sabotage our success. We really are our own worst enemy. You’d be amazed by how much easier your life would be if you weren’t constantly sabotaging your success.

It boggles the mind why we stand in our own way, but we do. Understanding that fact is half the battle to overcoming it.

Try these techniques to stop sabotaging yourself:

Let go of the past. Mistakes from the past don’t mean that you’re doomed to failure in the future. The past should be used as educational material, not as a predictor of the future. Leave your past in the past and create the future you desire.
Avoid talking to yourself unless you’re going to say something nice. You spend too much time saying negative things to yourself. Eventually, you begin to believe them. Such negative input gives you an incorrect opinion of yourself and your capabilities. Ensure that your self-talk is supportive and positive.
Notice your habits that sabotage your success. Think about what you want to be successful at and notice your habits that stand in your way. For example, if you want to lose weight, but you eat a bag of chips every time you’re stressed, that habit is sabotaging your success.
- Make a list of all the habits that sabotage your success. Write down all the ways in which those habits inhibit your success. What is the cost of each of those habits? Being aware of the damage these habits cause can make it easier to change them.
Define your fear. All self-sabotage is rooted in fear. What exactly are you afraid of? Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself? Are you afraid of finding out that you’re not capable? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of how people will view you?
- Understand the basic fear that is causing you to sabotage yourself. Unless you can either get over that fear or remove it, you’ll continue to get in your own way.
Know your ceiling. Notice how far you can go before you begin sabotaging yourself. For example, perhaps you’re stuck at a particular income level. What income level do you get stuck at? If you’re trying to lose weight, at what point do you begin sabotaging yourself? We all have a ceiling for each part of our lives. Understand yours and seek to understand why.
Identify and change your beliefs. What are the beliefs that stand in your way? For example, do you believe that you’re naturally a chubby person that can never get below a certain weight? Do you believe that you can never be a successful writer because you failed high school English?
- Look at all of your beliefs related to the part of your life you want to be more successful in. Which of those beliefs are getting in your way?
Notice the people that get in your way. Sometimes, we allow people into our lives that don’t really want the best for us. You’ll find that few people are truly interested in seeing you live up to your full potential.
- Avoid believing that it’s acceptable to allow someone to get in your way. If they choose to be an obstacle, consider removing them from your life.

The good news is that easier to control yourself than it is to control others or circumstances outside of yourself. Since you are the source of your challenges, you also have the power to eliminate them. Never underestimate how much you’re standing in your own way!

Book a 15-minute “Get to know you” call by clicking on the blue button below

and we can talk about how getting rid of self-sabotage in your life moves you toward success

To your success

Michael

P.S. if you have always thought that you should have a Life Coach on your personal team to help you create the best year of your life but were put off by the cost and the time requirement, I have created a Self-paced course that covers what we would do when working together.

While not the same as working one-on-one with a Life Coach, this self-paced course can help you to understand your present situation, how you got there and how to set goals that will move you forwards to success.

Click on the logo below to find out more about the course

Image by John Hain from Pixabay