Top 5 Excuses for Not Going After Your Dreams

What are you waiting for? You have plans and aspirations that you’ve been putting off for years. We’re great at putting things off and convincing ourselves that we’ll get them done someday soon. Eventually, we all run out of somedays and our options become more limited. If you’re not enthusiastically pursuing your goals, there’s a reason. And it might not be the reason you think.

Most excuses are actually a form of fear camouflaged as another challenge.

Identify your excuses and take action today:

1. A perceived lack of resources. Perhaps you need additional knowledge, education, money, or time. This is the most common excuse for not taking action. These excuses might be accurate. You might not have enough time. However, it’s up to you to make the time. It’s up to you to find the money you need.

• A lack of resources can’t stop you if you’re determined. Using the lack of resources as an excuse suggests another underlying issue.
• Find a way around your lack of resources. There’s a solution available to you right now if you want to find it.

1. Your belief that you’ll fail. Maybe you’re not afraid of failing, but you anticipate failure. No one would waste their time taking action if they expected a negative outcome. Use every tool at your disposal to change your belief. Try using logic or convince yourself that you’ll give it a try anyway. Meditation, self-hypnosis, and visualization are other possible options.

• Get expert advice or consider changing your objective to one that’s more believable.
  

1. Fear. The is the most accurate answer most of the time. Doing something significant involves change, both the change that results from success and the chance necessary to create success.

• The most effective way to combat fear is to jump in with both feet. The apprehension that results from thinking about taking the first step is more severe than the apprehension that accompanies real action. Once you get started, the fear subsides considerably.
• Fear has been around since the beginning of man. It’s not going away, so it’s important to build your ability to manage it.

1. A lack of motivation. Why aren’t you motivated? Is it due to fear or something else? A little success can create motivation. Starting a diet can be challenging, but your motivation grows after you’ve successfully lost 10 pounds.

• The solution to a lack of motivation is the same as the solution to fear: take the leap. Get started and hang in there until you’ve experienced some success. At that point, you’ll find that your lack of motivation is no longer an issue.

1. The need for perfection. This could be the need to have ideal conditions before getting started or the need to accomplish your goal without experiencing any failure along the way. Perfectionism is just another manifestation of fear masquerading as a socially acceptable excuse.

• There is no failure, provided you don’t give up. Expect that things won’t work out 100% according to plan. Accept this fact and move ahead.
• Take action. Taking action is the best way to reduce your fear. You don’t need to be perfect. You only need to be “good enough.”

If you’ve been finding reasons to put off your plans to some unidentified point in the future, it’s time to examine the reasons. Fear is the biggest reason for chronic procrastination. It’s your responsibility to determine why you’ve been waiting. By finding an explanation, you can begin to take motivated action and see your dreams come true.

Practice the Pareto Principle and Reap the Results You Seek in Your Life

The 80/20 Rule, or Pareto Principle, probably isn’t new to you. The Pareto Principle is the idea that 80% of your results come from 20% of your actions. You wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time. The top 20% of sales people make 80% of the sales. It’s a powerful concept that can be used to change your life quickly.

Use the 80/20 Rule to create the life you desire:

1. Realize that your instinct is to focus on the 80% of your options that provide minimal results. The Pareto principle isn’t for the weak-hearted. The easy, comfortable actions we prefer are those that provide little in the way of results. The most meaningful actions are less comfortable.

• For example, switching to fat-free doughnuts isn’t too hard, but it also won’t lead to a lot of weight loss. Leaving the dinner table when you’re still a little hungry each night for 6 months is more challenging, but will make a huge difference.

1. It can be applied to nearly any area of your life. 80% of your happiness comes from 20% of your actions. What if you arranged your life so you could spend more time on that 20%? By the same token, 80% of the grief in your life comes from 20% of the people in your life. What if you could limit or eliminate them from your life?
2. The 80/20 principle saves a lot of time. By focusing on the actions that make the biggest difference, you can save a tremendous amount of time.

• It’s all about efficiency. Consider each part of your life and make a list of the most important actions you take. These are the vital few actions that make most of the difference.

1. Ask yourself the important questions, using the 80/20 principle. Then, you’ll have enough information to make a huge change in your life. You know what makes you happy, who makes you happy, and what creates your success. You also know which things and people are obstacles to these objectives.

• Which 20% of my activities cause 80% of my stress?
• Which 20% of my activities lead to 80% of my happiness?
• Which 20% of my friends do I enjoy the most?
• Which 20% of my friends cause the most pain?
• Which 20% of my skills account for 80% of my success?
• Which 20% of my beliefs cause 80% of my grief?

1. Begin to apply the principle to your life. What are you trying to accomplish? Let’s imagine that you own a business and want to apply the Pareto Principle.

• 20% of your employees do 80% of the work. You’d better treat them well to ensure they don’t leave!
• 20% of your employees cause 80% of the problems. You might want to show them the door.
• 20% of your customers provide 80% of your profits. Cater to these customers.
• 20% of your actions created 80% of your customers. Focus on those actions to gain new customers.
• 20% of the actions you take provide 80% of the value you’re creating at work. Spend more time on that 20%.

The 80/20 principle can be applied to any part of your life you wish to change. You’ll save a tremendous amount of time and get more accomplished. Ensure that you’re spending your time on the activities that can create the biggest impact.

Overcome Your Fear of Confrontation and Get What You Want More Often

Confrontation can be scary. Most of us were raised with the idea that we shouldn’t upset others. Confrontation has a negative connotation, but it shouldn’t. Confrontation doesn’t have to be negative or hostile. Confrontation is addressing behavior you don’t like with the intention of finding a resolution.

Confrontation can be intimidating if you’ve made a habit of avoiding it your entire life. It takes courage to address a situation in a new way. A few positive results could change your opinion about confrontation!

Handle confrontation maturely and calmly with these ideas:

1. Most “confrontations” aren’t confrontations at all. Those that cringe from confrontation are actually afraid of sharing their opinion. That’s not a confrontation. You have just as much right to your opinion as anyone else and have every right to share it in most circumstances. Sharing ideas isn’t confrontation.
2. Understand what’s bothering you. Do you really have a reason to be bothered or are your expectations unreasonable? Everyone is unreasonable at times. Perhaps it’s just your turn. Ask a friend for his opinion if you’re uncertain.
3. Determine the desired outcome. What would you like to see happen? Be specific and ask yourself if that’s a reasonable expectation. Be positive. Know what you want, not just what you wish to avoid. Avoiding a specific outcome leaves you open to countless others. How can you know it won’t get even worse?
   
4. Be prepared. When you’re confronting someone, trying to handle the situation spontaneously isn’t ideal. Take the time you need to prepare, if possible. Think of what you need to say and how you should say it. Your tone is important.
   
5. Take control of the situation. Be the first to address the situation. You have more control and can set the tone for the remainder of the encounter. Be calm, cool, and collected, and the other person is likely to follow suit. If you’re hostile, expect hostility in return.
6. Ask questions. Ensure that you fully understand the situation before making any requests. You may misunderstand the current situation. Maybe there’s no need for a confrontation at all.
7. Stick to the facts. When you stray from the facts, you’re viewed as reaching. If you can’t make a legitimate claim with the facts you possess, more research is necessary.
8. Let the other person know what you want, rather than request they cease a behavior. “I want you to arrive to work on time” instead of “I want you to stop being late.” Keep your request in a positive form. Avoid feeling anxious about your request. It’s just a request.
9. Address behavior, but avoid assuming you know the motives of the other person. “When you’re late, I feel like you don’t care” is more effective than “I know you’re always late because you don’t care about my feelings.” You don’t know what the other person is thinking until you’re told. Making assumptions puts others on the offensive.
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10. Stay calm. Good things can happen when you remain calm. Any escalation in emotion will create more drama. Avoid taking anything personally. Share your opinion and let your request be known. Stay calm even if the other person becomes angry.

Confrontation can be positive. Confrontation provides an opportunity to improve the current situation. It’s normal to be anxious at the prospect of confronting another person, but avoid letting that stop you from sticking up for yourself. You’re entitled to your opinion. Learn to share it effectively.

Keys to Personal Development: Be the Tortoise and Win

Modern life is all about getting things done quickly. Microwave ovens, streaming movies, and cell phones perpetuate this lifestyle. However, personal development is more effective when done slowly. Significant changes take time. It’s also about the journey. The process of changing can be more meaningful than the benefits gained by the change.

Why personal development takes time:

1. Old habits take time to extinguish. It’s not easy to quit smoking or give up candy. It’s also not easy to stop thinking negative thoughts or procrastinating. Your current habits limit your life, enjoyment, and success. Even when you recognize their negative effects, though, it still takes time to get used to new ways.
2. If it were quick and easy, everyone would be successful. To attain a high level of success in any area of your life, time and effort are required. There are no shortcuts to success. Accept that developing yourself is an ongoing process that will continue for the rest of your life. You’ll avoid the urge to rush.
3. New habits take time to form. It common to hear that new habits require 21 days, 30 days, or 42 days. The truth is that it varies. Studies have shown that habits can require as long as 9 months to be established. It depends on the habit and the person. Real change requires the development of new, effective habits.
4. Your desires will change. When you’re hungry, all you want is food. When you’re lonely, all you desire in companionship. As your needs are met, your goals will change. It’s impossible to predict what you’ll want five years from now. Consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs:

• Self-actualization – living your purpose, finding meaning in life
• Self-esteem – respect of others, confidence, achievement
• Love and belonging – friendship, family, intimacy
• Safety and security – health, career, personal property
• Physiological needs – food, water, clothing shelter

• We all start at the bottom of this hierarchy and work our way up. Only when the needs of one level are met can the next level be addressed. If you try to skip levels, your life becomes a mess.
• You probably won’t have goals related to realizing your inner potential if you can’t feed your family. Increasing your social circle is the furthest thing from your mind if you recently lost your job.
• Since you can’t predict what your future goals will be, your personal development will be a long-term process.

1. It’s all about the journey. Overcoming your fear of public speaking isn’t just about making more money at your profession. It’s about conquering your doubts and perceived limitations. If you could eliminate your fear by snapping your fingers, life would be too easy. Much of the enjoyment and meaning of life come from the battles we fight.
2. Repetition is often the most important component. Personal development is like getting in shape. There’s only so much change that can happen in one day. It’s when your efforts are repeated over the long-term that results happen.

• Brushing your teeth once doesn’t accomplish a lot. Not brushing your teeth one day doesn’t do much either. It’s only after repeated brushing or neglect that the results become obvious.
• Crash dieting, winning the lottery, and studying all night for a semester exam rarely result in success. You’ve had similar experiences. Your personal development journey requires consistency to attain long-lasting results.

Instead of looking for the quick fix, search for strategies that require effort and commitment. Relish the fact that you’re changing your life and putting in the work to make it happen. Success is easier than you think, because so few people can keep a long-term perspective. Win the personal development race by being the tortoise.

How to Keep Going When You Feel Like Quitting

The most successful people have an uncanny ability to keep going when everyone else would quit. Your success is tied your ability to keep working after you have the urge to quit. Quitting is a bad habit, and it’s often learned at a young age. Learn how to continue making progress no matter how strong the urge to quit grows.

Consider the reasons you feel like quitting in the first place:

1. You lack energy. A lack of energy isn’t just a reason one might quit a marathon. It’s also a common reason for quitting other pursuits. Exhaustion can be physical or mental. To help counteract your exhaustion:

• Get a full night of sleep.
• Get better control over your schedule.
• Streamline your life.
• Eat more nutritious foods.
• Learn how to relax.

1. You lack focus. Too many distractions can result in the desire to quit. Are you trying to accomplish too many other things? Some people can deal with more goals than others. If you feel overwhelmed, narrow your focus to your most important goals.
2. It’s not that important to you. Do you have a good enough reason to keep going? Why are you doing this activity in the first place?

• Remind yourself of why it’s important to keep going. Maybe the best motivation you can find is setting a good example for your children. Maybe the most important issue is self-respect. Find a good reason to continue.

Understand the reasons you feel the desire to quit. It’s natural to want to quit. And most people do. Will you be one of the few that’s able to persevere? It’s just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other until you’re finished.

Persevere when you want to quit:

1. Revisit your original purpose. Is that motivation enough? If it’s not, you’ll need to find a new reason. If you can’t think of one, that might be a sign that you should be doing something else. But don’t give up too quickly. Look deeply. You’ll almost certainly find a compelling reason to continue.
2. Create small successes. Nothing is more motivating than success. Set yourself up for regular success by setting easy goals that move you forward. These baby steps can result in the momentum you need to carry you to the finish line. Just focus on the immediate task and forget about the rest.
3. Focus on the endpoint. The path might not be enjoyable, but the end result should be. Keep your eye on how great you’ll feel when you’ve reached the end. By focusing on the endpoint, you can maintain your motivation more easily. Visualize your ideal endpoint twice each day.
4. Stay on schedule. Once your motivation begins to wane, it’s easy to lose track of your goal. Other activities seem to take over your schedule and it becomes easier to procrastinate. So, make a schedule that will ensure you stay engaged. Make time so you don’t have an excuse to quit.
5. Ask yourself how you’ll feel if you allow yourself to quit. Quitting sounds good in the short-term, but we usually regret it later on. How will you feel in a week, month, or year from today if you let yourself quit?

Learn to keep going, no matter how strong the desire to quit grows. This is the best indicator of your ability to be successful. You will eventually succeed if you can continue moving toward your goal. You don’t have to quit just because you feel the urge to stop.