Follow Confident People

2018-06-10 ~ adminlife

You immediately notice when someone is confident. They enter the room, and people pay attention. They have a way about them that gets people interested. If you want to become confident yourself, why not follow people who are confident already?

The next time you spot a confident person, take notice of how they behave. Start by observing how they speak to others. Do they seem like they are listening? Confident people don’t have anything to prove, so they won’t try to hog the conversation. They will let others speak.

Another trait of confident people is they ask questions. This seems counterintuitive as you would think they know everything. But, they don’t. They know when it’s necessary to ask when they don’t know the answer. People lacking confidence often pretend like they know all the answers, even at the risk of giving the wrong information. If you don’t know something, look it up or ask.

What else can you notice about confident people who you follow? They probably are calm and don’t overreact. Their confidence lets them realize there are solutions and they just need to be hashed out.

Pay attention to their body language as well. This is an important aspect of communication and by emulating some of what they do, you can project your confidence to others. Don’t try to force something just because you saw someone else doing it. Make it as natural as possible. Use a mirror if you are unsure how it will look or practice on people who you know, like family members.

Be cautious when following someone as you don’t want to appear like you are stalking them. It’s one thing to notice what they do when they are near you and others. But, following them around everywhere they go is not the best choice. It’s creepy and they may even call you out for doing it.

The closer you can become to a confident person, the more you will likely see them so that you can observe them. People tend to take on traits naturally the more they are exposed to them. When you hang out with people who are better than you at certain skills, like sports or music, etc., you tend to become better at them. It’s no different with confident people. You will take on the traits of theirs that you find desirable and want to make them part of your personality. It’s important to do it in a natural way.

To your success

Michael W

P.S. If you are looking for a confidence program that can help you with your self development. Send me an email at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to request a copy of my “Maximum Confidence Transformation Package”. Afterwards we can arrange a discovery telephone call to discuss the package and how you can benefit further from developing your confidence level.

Feature photo used under Creative Commons and available at https://pixabay.com/en/tie-necktie-adjust-adjusting-man-690084/

Knowledge Is Not Power

2018-03-15 ~ adminlife

Whoever first said that knowledge is power was probably selling encyclopedias. Knowledge is a tool, like money and influence. Tools are only powerful if they are used effectively. How, then, do you make a head-full of knowledge into a powerful tool?

1. By seeing clearly what can be done.

2. By seeing clearly your own limitations.

3. By acting on what you know.

Wise Action, Not Knowledge, Is Power

Investors often learn so much that they think they can consistently predict the course of the stock market. In reality, there are probably fewer than ten old investors that have never lost money. Wise investors know that the best they can do is get the odds in their favor, so they’ll have more wins than losses. You have to see the limitations of knowledge.

I can read about how to sing, and even get advice from a voice coach, but I can’t sing well. I’m not saying that I could never sing well, only that right now I cannot. If I’m not willing to do what is necessary, then I would be wise to look for a non-singing way to make money. You have to see our own limitations.

The most important part of making knowledge into power, is to act. You can study political philosophy and every aspect of the political process for a decade, and still have no power. Power is in the effective application of what you know.

Imagine an inventor with a hundred ideas on paper. He has a head full of knowledge, and a creative imagination, but nothing to show for it. Now imagine a simple man with one new invention, who understands the limits of innovation without marketing, and sees his own limitations in that area. He seeks out the people that can help, and makes a million.

Now that’s power.

To your success

Michael W

Boosting Your Self-Worth

2018-02-03 ~ adminlife

What is self-worth, anyway? To find out, answer this question: How much would you say you’re worth? The answer is your self-worth, or the value you place on yourself. Just like anything of value, the self can fluctuate up and down in worth for any number of reasons!

Even though you have your ups and downs, there are ways you can increase your self-worth each and every day.

We all have value, whether we believe it or not. This value comes from our very existence, as well as our own set of skills, talents, ideas and strengths.

If we think of worth in terms of financial worth, we can get a good idea of how we can increase our own self-worth.

With money, the way to increase worth is to make more money. We make more money by taking specific actions in our workplace or within our businesses.

Sounds obvious, right? Well it is! Self-worth works the same way. We increase our self-worth by focusing on the things that make up our worth.

Here are some things you can begin doing right now to increase your self-worth:

Enjoy a new hobby. Your skill set is a big determination of your self-worth. The more you can do – and do well – the better you feel about yourself. That’s why you’ll want to consider adding to your list of hobbies or recreational activities.

The more you enjoy what you do in your life, the more you’ll also enjoy who you are as a person.

Take a class. As with hobbies, learning something new is a great way to add to your self-worth. It’s like a deposit into your knowledge bank.

There are plenty of options for this choice:

Take a class at a local community college.
Register for an online seminar.
Look in the local newspaper for free classes in your area.
Call your local school district. They offer inexpensive continuing education classes in almost every subject imaginable, including hobbies!

Read more. Reading is a wonderful way to stimulate the mind. When you spark your imagination, new ideas emerge from the depths. Nothing builds self-worth like learning more about the world you live in!

Maybe you’ve always wanted to be an inventor. If so, you can generate some ideas by researching and reading information about your ideas.

Learn a language. There are a huge number of tools available that can assist you in mastering a new language. Learning new languages builds self-worth because it allows you to communicate on a completely different level with others.

Do something out of the ordinary. Take a chance, conquer a challenge, and step out of your comfort zone. These kinds of activities stretch you as an individual. Doing something you never imagined gives you a glimpse of your true potential.

Anything that boosts your self-confidence will also increase your self-worth, since they’re directly related. On the other hand, our self-worth becomes stagnant if we become arrogant and believe that we’ve accomplished all we can in life.

Start each day by making the commitment to your success. After all, you are worthy of great things! Even if you have a hard time believing this, take action anyway because where action is, emotions will follow.

Try something new, pick one of the topics from above, give it a shot and see for yourself how much of a difference it makes. Just remember the great words of Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

Which will you choose?

To your success

P.S. Are you frustrated that you are not reaching your ultimate level of success? Do you desire to be more confident and successful? Fantastic. Let me help you.

As a Life Coach, I want to make sure that you achieve all of your goals and desires to become the powerful person you know you are inside. Bring that confident person outside to take charge of your life. Let me buy you a 30 minute session so that we can talk together to determine how to move you forward.

Simply email me at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to get started now.

Are you ready to reach the level of success that you know you desire?

Photo by Terrah Holly on Unsplash

2017-12-092017-12-09 ~ adminlife

Improve Self-Confidence – Model the 7 Habits of Highly Self-Confident People

By Dr. Camelia Furlan

There is no doubt that one sure way to improve self-confidence is to model highly self-confident people.

Self-confidence is all about believing in yourself, your own worth, your power and abilities, regardless of the situation you are in.

A lot of people believe that self-confidence comes from the possession of high skill sets or knowledge. While being excellent in a particular area of expertise can give you a sense of high self-worth, it is not a necessarily a prerequisite for self-confidence.

People who have high self-confidence have a strong sense of assurance and belief in themselves. They exude calmness, composure and self-awareness, and that is because, they have formed a set of habits that have become part of who they are and how they live their life.

So, let’s look at these habits in more detail:

HABIT 1: Keep Your Word – To Yourself And Others

This sounds very simple – but often it isn’t.

For example, how often do you tell yourself you’re going to do something and then you don’t, like exercise perhaps? How often do you NOT keep your promise to others?

Whenever this happens, not only is there an underlying feeling of dissatisfaction within yourself but also you are providing your subconscious mind with evidence that you don’t do what you say you will… that you are someone whom can not be trusted.

This is incredibly destructive to your self-confidence, because you don’t get to trust and know who you say you are and do. You say one thing, but don’t deliver, and this costs you your trust in yourself and your self-confidence.

High self-confident people understand the importance of keeping their word. They understand that coming from this space of integrity, where their word is law, IS the key to accessing their own power and self-confidence, and in my opinion, is also the most important habit that leads to success in life.

The trick is to start making smaller promises that you know you won’t let yourself or others down. Be honest with yourself. Don’t say yes to something when you know you can’t fit it in.

Baby steps are the key here. If you try to do too much too soon, you will inevitably let something slip, and guess who will be watching?

HABIT 2: Choose Positive Self Talk

The primary keyword here is CHOOSE. No matter how many successes we have or how many things we do well, we continually doubt ourselves and our abilities.

It might have something to do with the fact that over 75% of what we think is negative, which is completely counterproductive. With these kinds of statistics, it’s no wonder we struggle to feel good about ourselves.

One of the most important changes we can make in our life is choosing our self-talk.

Highly self-confident people have learned the habit of catching negative thoughts before they can have an effect on their moods, feelings and performance. They consciously choose to cancel these thoughts and replace them with positive empowering thoughts instead.

They have formed the habit of saying: stop, cancel or pass, whenever they catch a negative thought… not giving any power to that thought… not reacting to it.

Affirmations are a very powerful way of re-educating our minds to think empowering thoughts rather than the counterproductive negative thoughts.

So CHOOSE to improve self-confidence by choosing positive thoughts and practice these using affirmations.

HABIT 3: Focus On Your Strengths

Lack of self-confidence is a result of losing sight of our great qualities, and exaggerating our flaws instead.

High self-confident people know their strength and focus on what they can do, rather than what they can’t.

When you think you are not good at something, try to consciously focus on the qualities that you have that are important to carry out that task.

For example, if you are doing public speaking and are not confident at delivering a speech, but you are a great researcher, writer and organiser… focus on these attributes instead, and know that you can be confident and proud of the content of that speech. Focusing on the great content will make the delivery of the speech less significant.

HABIT 4: Be Courageous

Get out of your head and just do it!

Low self-confident people tend to procrastinate and worry. They end up being hung up over negative outcomes and failures of the past, and they can’t seem to find the courage to move forward.

Highly self-confident people have learned that in order to succeed, they can create the possibility of being courageous anytime they want… this way, even if they are afraid, they can choose to take action… in spite of fear!

You see COURAGE is not acting without fear; courage is acting in spite of fear.

When you make it a habit of being courageous you will increase self-confidence, because you are more likely to give the things you want a go, and when you are more focused on the doing rather than the thinking and worrying, you’ve overcome half the battle.

HABIT 5: Act and Feel Important

High self-confidence people have a habit of thinking highly of themselves through the way they behave and the image they portray. They have high levels of energy.

If we were to look at their behaviour, you will notice that self-confident people stand up for themselves and speak up when it is appropriate.

The image of self-confidence is also portrayed by the physiology and body language, by way they look after their body and the way they dress.

Do you see many self-confident people who walk around with slumped shoulders and are dressed badly?

No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are, so make it a priority to look good and feel important.

Here are some basic things you can do at the physical level to improve self-confidence… by modeling the image that highly self-confident people portray:

Good posture – walk confidently, stand up straight and tall with shoulders back and head up, and make eye contact.
Dress sharp – look presentable and smart. When you are dressed well, doesn’t that instantly make you feel great and important?
Get your energy up – listen to upbeat music to instantly get energy up, and exercise regularly. Not only will exercise give you energy, but also the side effect is… great physical appearance… which will also help to improve self-confidence.

HABIT 6: Be Grateful

There is no doubt that High Self-Confident people have an attitude of gratitude. I’m talking about heartfelt gratitude and not so much about forced gratitude, because… there is a difference.

How do you recognize the difference between forced gratitude and heartfelt gratitude?

If you’ve ever expressed gratitude by starting a sentence with, “At least… ” you understand the meaning of forced gratitude. For example… at least I have food on the table, or… at least I have a good job, etc. We force ourselves to feel grateful, but this is coming from emptiness and it isn’t a long-lasting habit, because as soon as our circumstances change, we may not feel the same.

Heartfelt gratitude is a much deeper feeling. It is a feeling of appreciation and connection with life itself, which when present, gratitude triggers positive feedback loops.

This is the secret habit that high self-confidence people rely on to get access to this amazing positive mental attitude that they have.

So, to improve self-confidence start the habit of being grateful.

An exercise you can do everyday is to spend 5 minutes acknowledging the small things you like about yourself, things that make you feel self-confident and successful right now.

You can write these down in a gratitude journal and review them weekly.

Another powerful thing to do is find an unsuspecting or unlikely target to unleash your gratitude upon.

Gratitude often works best where you would least expect it to. Perhaps you can show appreciation or be grateful to a friend or family member, or you have seen a beautiful tree or flower that brightens your day, perhaps appreciate your favourite song, or a really good hug… you will be surprised how many things you will find that you can appreciate and be grateful for everyday!

HABIT 7: Focus On Contributing To Others

People with low self-confidence tend to focus too much time on their own problems and flaws, they undervalue what they are capable of, and spend too much time being critical of themselves.

They get caught up in this kind of thinking and as a result feel low in self-confidence.

High self-confident people focus on the needs of other people, they take the attention away from themselves and focus on how they can be of service and contribute to others.

The more they contribute to the world, the more they are rewarded with personal recognition and success.

So, to help increase self-confidence, the one thing you can do IS stop focusing on yourself and start contributing and helping others.

By the way, do you want to learn more about how to improve self confidence and get abundance and success in your life?

If so, download my FREE Mini E-mail Course [http://howdoyougetselfconfidence.com/01-2/] and Discover the 7 STEPS towards Self-Confidence Mastery

To your success

Michael W

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dr._Camelia_Furlan/1165606

http://EzineArticles.com/?Improve-Self-Confidence—Model-the-7-Habits-of-Highly-Self-Confident-People&id=7244265

The Timid Person’s Solution to Standing Up for Yourself

2017-11-09 ~ adminlife

Some of us are much better at standing up for ourselves than others. While some people can get worked up a little too easily and make a mountain out of a molehill, others are just the opposite. They’re so afraid of conflict that they always let everyone else have their own way.

This approach can be very damaging. Always giving in to others negatively affects your self-esteem and it sends the message to others that you are a push-over. When this happens, it encourages others to continue treating you in a disrespectful manner.

While there are many ways to express yourself, the healthiest option is to be assertive. The assertive approach is all about expressing your needs, concerns, and opinions. This needs to be done openly, honestly, and directly while still being respectful of the other person.

A great first step is to practice your assertiveness in lower-stress situations like these:

Order some food in a restaurant and send it back. Nearly every meal has something less than spectacular about it. Maybe the steak is too salty or the drink doesn’t have enough ice. Ask to have the problem rectified.
Walk into a fast food restaurant and request a glass of water without ordering anything. You might get turned down, but that’s fine. You’re successful if you make the request. The result is irrelevant.
Always give your opinion. If someone asks you what movie you want to see or what you feel like eating, tell them. No matter what you’re asked, give a direct answer. Avoid saying things like, “I don’t care,” or “It doesn’t matter to me,” or “Whatever you want.”
Compliment a stranger. Give a sincere compliment to a complete stranger. If you notice something that appeals to you, mention it to them. That’s it. You might even make a friend or get a date out of the deal. Certainly you can say, “Wow, those are really great shoes.”

Once you feel more comfortable with being assertive in low-stress situations, you’re ready for the big leagues.

Use those newfound assertiveness skills the next time you need to speak up for yourself:

Plan ahead, if possible. Give yourself every opportunity for success. Pick a time and place that makes it easier for you to speak up. Control the details to allow yourself to be as comfortable as possible. If your need to speak up is regarding a more spontaneous issue, this step won’t apply as much.
Remind yourself that you’re important. If you struggle to stand up for yourself, you’re most likely very good at accommodating everyone else. Give yourself the same treatment! Accommodate your own needs for a change.
Before the conversation, imagine your success at being assertive. See yourself being confident, comfortable, and assertive – and then getting what you want in the situation!
When you have the conversation, use “I” statements:

Give the other person a report of your feelings. For example: “I feel disrespected whenever you’re late meeting me. It leads me to feel that you don’t respect me or my time.” If you’re dealing with a stranger while you’re out on the town, you might say “I don’t appreciate being spoken to in that tone.”
Request a new behavior from the other person. Let them know what you need to feel better about the situation. “From now on, I would like for us to agree on times that you will be able to accommodate.”

Evaluate your effort. When you have the time, examine how you performed and see if you could be more effective in getting what you want or need. Be sure to congratulate yourself for speaking up!

Standing up for yourself can be challenging, but it’s worth the time to get into the habit. You’ll strengthen your self-esteem and bring more joy into your life. We all train others how to treat us, whether we realize it or not. Be sure you’re training them to treat you the way you deserve!

To your success.

Michael W

P.S. If you want to learn more about building and developing your confidence, you are invited to visit Confidence and Motivation. This membership site has a level that will be just right for the level of confidence that you want to reach.

P.P.S. If you are on Facebook, check out Develop Confidence in Yourself. Here you will get access to articles and videos related to developing your confidence levels.