Self-Blame and Self-Criticism Is Not Healthy

2024-07-29 ~ adminlife

Self-blame refers to a person’s tendency to consider themselves at fault, especially when things don’t go as well as planned, even if the cause or events were beyond their control. A pattern of self-blame leads a person to feel constantly guilty and inferior.

Although the tendency to self-blame can make a person seem humble and unassuming, it can also inhibit them in becoming more creative and wanting to strive to do better.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

People who have a persistent habit of blaming themselves for anything that goes wrong will usually avoid taking the initiative. This is because they prefer to stay inconspicuous so they won’t receive extra (negatively perceived) attention, and in doing so, hope that others will have similar expectations of their capabilities.

Self-blame is also correlated with being self-critical

Being self-critical is the act of telling ourselves negative and destructive thoughts, such as being inadequate, shameful, or a failure. We almost all have a tendency to be self-critical to some degree.

However, the problem begins when this becomes a habit; a negative, self-reinforcing loop. This is because constant self-criticism causes a person to become stuck with negative thoughts and emotions about themselves. They feel guilt and shame to the extent that they no longer feel any desire to achieve. If left unaddressed, this inaction can lead to depression or other mental health issues.

Self-criticism deprives an individual of being able to look at their own efforts or abilities objectively. It robs them of being able to engage in healthy self-reflection, which would allow them to be more accepting of any past mistakes.

A little bit of self-blame and self-criticism is okay

We can get away with a little bit of self-blame and self-criticism occasionally. However, if we continually beat ourselves up and start to do it more often than not, then we may not be able to stop and do an objective reality check.

Remember, your mind is incredibly powerful. If you continually feed it with self-blaming and self-criticizing words, those words will get louder and more believed and ingrained. In turn this can increase your risk of developing anxiety or depression.

Self-blame and self-criticism can be beneficial to some degree

They do help us ‘get real’ about ourselves. Sometimes we may be a little guilty of believing our own press. Some critical self-evaluation allows us to identify and accept our imperfections and take conscious steps to improve them. However, if self-blame and self-criticism become the norm, it can paralyze us into inaction.

Consequently, you will be hindered from achieving your full potential. Therefore, it’s important to keep self-blame and self-criticism within healthy levels. Simply, it should be a feedback mechanism, not a tool for consistent self-deprecation.

Steps To Keep Your Self-Blaming and Self-Criticism In Check

Focus your criticism on your behaviour

Behaviours can be changed. This is why when your inner voice starts to be critical, it is time to address your behaviours. Be careful not to criticize your attributes, as you can’t always change them, or need to. Your attributes are a part of your uniqueness.

If you blame yourself for not being super-intelligent, you run the risk of drowning in frustration and depression. If instead you more correctly blame or criticize your habit of spending too much time on your smartphone instead of studying, then chances are you can find ways to rectify the behaviour, and therefore change the result.

Know the difference between taking responsibility and self-blaming

Instead of being quick to blame or criticize yourself, try to assess the situation first. It is important that you look into every aspect of yourself, and see how your actions, inactions, and the words you have left unspoken, affected the entire outcome of the situation. Accept your mistakes and come up with ways on how you can improve yourself as well as the situation in the future.

Challenge your self-critical inner voice

When your inner voice tells you that you are lazy, not worthy or inadequate, challenge these thoughts. Start by creating a journal of the things that you like about yourself, and your strengths. Creating this type of journal will help you appreciate yourself more and criticize yourself less.

If you work on improving yourself, your skills, abilities, and behaviour you will find it easier to get rid of your negative self-critical inner voice.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 45-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P. P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Photo by Marvelous Raphael on Unsplash

The Quintessential Element of Success: Taking Decisive Action

2024-05-13 ~ adminlife

In a world inundated with information and the perennial quest for personal development, it is not uncommon to encounter individuals who are voracious consumers of knowledge yet remain stagnant in their personal or professional lives. This paradoxical state of inertia, despite an abundance of intellectual resources, prompts a critical examination of the true catalyst for change: action.

Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

The Indisputable Power of Action

Theoretical Knowledge vs. Practical Application

Intellectual prowess is futile without execution. The acquisition of knowledge is commendable, yet it is the practical application of this knowledge that brings about tangible results.
- For instance, one may study the mechanics of swimming extensively, but without plunging into the water, the theoretical understanding will not translate into the ability to swim.

The Foundation of Progress

Action is the bedrock upon which progress is built. It is the force that propels ideas from the realm of possibility into the domain of reality.
- Consider the story of the Wright brothers, Wilbur and Orville, whose relentless experimentation and action led to the first powered flight, a monumental leap for mankind, achieved not merely through contemplation but through persistent action.

The Catalyst for Change

Behavior as the Precursor to Transformation

Change is precipitated by a shift in behaviour. One’s life trajectory is altered by the steps taken, not merely by the plans laid out.
- Reflect upon the transformative journey of an individual who, after years of sedentary living, decides to run a marathon. The decision to train daily, despite the initial discomfort, leads to a profound change in health and mindset.

The Role of Beliefs and Values

Inner convictions shape outward actions. The beliefs and values one holds dear are instrumental in guiding the actions one takes.
- An entrepreneur who values innovation over security may take the bold step of leaving a stable job to start a new venture, driven by the belief in their vision and the value they place on creating something novel.

The Law of Averages and Potential

Perseverance and Probability

Consistent effort increases the likelihood of success. The law of averages suggests that persistence in action raises the probability of achieving desired outcomes.
- An aspiring author who writes every day, despite numerous rejections, may eventually find their manuscript accepted by a publisher, illustrating the power of steadfast action.

The Creation of Opportunities

Action begets opportunity. By taking initiative, one can uncover possibilities that would remain concealed in the absence of movement.
- The act of attending a networking event, for example, could lead to a chance encounter with a future business partner or mentor, an opportunity that would not have arisen from solitary strategizing.

Conclusion: The Imperative of Action

In conclusion, it is evident that the mere accumulation of knowledge or the indulgence in mental strategizing cannot substitute for the act of doing. It is through action that one’s circumstances are transformed, and it is through the consistent application of effort that the law of averages tips in one’s favor. To catalyze change, one must not only envision a different future but must also engage in the behaviours that will bring that future to fruition.

Now is the moment to ask oneself:

How do I desire my life to change?
What actions must I undertake to manifest these changes?
When will I commence this journey of transformation?

The answers to these questions lie not in further contemplation but in the resolve to act. Let the stories of those who have paved the way with their decisive steps serve as inspiration. Let the recognition of action as the ultimate arbiter of change be the impetus to move from thought to deed. The time to take action is now.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks books at many on-line books stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Photo by Jasper Garratt on Unsplash

6 Ways Change Can Redefine Your Life

2023-11-01 ~ adminlife

Let’s talk about something we all have a love-hate relationship with – change. You know that old saying, right? The only constant in life is change. It’s the driving force that propels us into fresh, exciting experiences. It’s the magic ingredient that can make our lives more fulfilling, moulding us into the person we aspire to be.

But let’s be real, change can be a tough nut to crack. It can be daunting, and many of us would rather stick to the comfort of the familiar than embrace the unknown. But here’s the deal – change is an essential part of our personal growth journey. So, why not make friends with it?

When you open yourself up to change, when you learn new skills, when you work on your inner self, you can bring about a transformation you never thought was within your reach.

Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

The Power of Identifying Areas for Change

So, how can pinpointing areas of change in your life help you transform it? Let’s break it down:

It sharpens your focus. Knowing what needs to change in your life helps you zero in on your goals and work actively towards them. For instance, you might realize that you’re always bending over backward to please others in your relationships, leaving you feeling drained. Once you identify this, you can start making the necessary changes to reclaim your happiness.
It simplifies change. It sounds obvious, but knowing what you need to change can make the whole process more manageable. Say, you want to tweak your diet because you suspect something you’re eating is throwing your hormones out of whack. If you can pinpoint that pastries are the culprit, you can easily switch to healthier alternatives.
It fuels progress. Every time you identify an area that needs change and take action, you’re moving forward. If you can figure out your career goals, you can take steps towards achieving them – whether it’s learning new skills, landing your dream job, or starting your own business.
It helps you build a support system. When the people around you know what changes you’re striving for, they can offer you the right kind of support. If you identify that certain situations trigger trauma for you, your support system can help you steer clear of these triggers.
It helps you identify triggers. Pinpointing specific triggers helps you avoid them. For example, if you find that crowded spaces spike your anxiety, you can choose to avoid them and keep your peace of mind intact.
It opens doors to new opportunities and experiences. Identifying changes and making them can lead you to fresh experiences and opportunities. If you realize that you’re afraid of public speaking because you think you’re not good enough, you can tackle that self-doubt head-on and make the necessary changes.
You discover your strengths. Recognizing areas that need change and taking action to make those changes is a testament to your inner strength. It takes guts to admit, “I need to change this part of my life.” Change may be challenging, but it reveals your resilience and shows that you can handle whatever life throws your way.

Wrapping it Up

Identifying areas of change can be a game-changer in transforming your life. By breaking down your goals into bite-sized pieces, you can take the reins, navigate the change, and reap the rewards.

Remember, as a Confidence and Life Coach, I’m here to help you on this journey.

So, are you ready to unleash the power of transformation? Let’s do this!

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael.

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone to Find Your Life’s Purpose

2023-09-25 ~ adminlife

Introduction

Let’s cut to the chase. You’re not here to play it safe, are you? You’re here because you’re tired of the humdrum, the mundane, the 9 to 5 grind. You’re here because you’re ready to shake things up, to step out of your comfort zone and into the life you’ve always dreamed of. Sounds about right, doesn’t it?

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

Strategy 1: Embrace the Challenge

First things first, expect the process to be challenging. It’s like wrestling a bear. You’re going to get a few scratches, maybe even a couple of bruises. But remember, no one said finding your passion would be a walk in the park. It’s a journey, a marathon, not a sprint. But trust me, it’s worth every step.

Strategy 2: Align with Your Values

Next, align your passion with your values. Think of it like a jigsaw puzzle. Your values are the corner pieces, the ones that give you the framework, the boundaries. Your passion is the rest of the puzzle, the pieces that fill in the picture, that make it whole.

Strategy 3: Draw from Your Past

Take a trip down memory lane. What did you love doing as a child? What made your heart race with excitement? Maybe you’ve always been a natural-born leader, organizing neighbourhood games or school projects. Or perhaps you’ve always had a knack for solving problems, always eager to take a crack at the toughest challenges. Your past is a treasure trove of clues to your passion.

Strategy 4: Write it Down

Last but not least, put pen to paper. It’s like panning for gold. You have to sift through the dirt and the rocks to find the nuggets of gold. Write down every thought, every idea, every spark of inspiration. You never know what might lead you to your passion.

Conclusion

Remember, the clock is ticking. The world is waiting for you to step up, to make your mark. So, are you ready to find your passion? Are you ready to live a life filled with purpose and excitement? If you’re nodding your head, then let’s get started and let’s set the world on fire.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Adrian Balasoiu on Unsplash

Live Your Best Life in 6 Steps

2021-07-04 ~ adminlife

Everyone is different. It’s not reasonable to expect that everyone wants to live the same life. But, to step outside the options that society deems to be acceptable can be a little scary. Our need to impress and be accepted can be very strong.

Perhaps you’ve never really considered what your dream life would be. It’s hard to hit a target that you’ve never identified.

Follow these steps to imagine the best life you could possibly have and then live it:

Be true to yourself. You can’t live your best life if you’re pretending to be someone or something that you’re not. The first step in living your best life is to admit to yourself who you really are. Be honest about your likes, dislikes, and dreams.
- Maybe you would like to live in a cabin in the woods and grow all of your food.
- Or do you love the idea of minimalism and frugality?
- Do you prefer animals to people?
- Would you like to live in a commune?
- Do you love to play the accordion?
- Would you like to travel the world like a nomad without a home base?
- Do you want to spend all of your time and resources saving the planet?
- Does the idea of having children horrify you? Or would you like to try for 13 kids?
- Choose what appeals to Any admiration or scorn you receive from others won’t last long enough for your cup of coffee to get cold.
Make a plan. Relying on chance or luck is a losing game in the long run. If you want a specific life, it’s important to choose it and then make a plan to get there. Make a long-term plan that begins with something you can do today.
Execute your plan. Many people love to dream and plan. That’s the easy and fun part. Unfortunately, few people ever take the first step in their plan. They never get started.
- Take some sort of action each day outlined by your plan. You don’t have to do an amazing amount of work each day to make significant progress over time. A little each day eventually grows into substantial results.
- The hardest part is getting started, so ensure that you get started as soon as possible. There will never be a perfect time to begin. Begin now and make the best of it. Everything changes once you actually begin.
Learn from your mistakes. Neither you nor your plan is flawless. You will make mistakes and try things that don’t work. That should be expected. Decide that you’re going to learn from your mistakes, adjust your approach, and try again.
Keep your attention on those things that are relevant regarding your plans. Reject nearly everything else.
- Why are you gossiping about your coworkers or neighbours?
- Still upset about how your ex cheated on you 13 years ago?
- Annoyed by the price of gasoline?
- What do any of these sorts of things have to do with achieving your goals and attaining your dream life? (Nothing.)
You can’t live your best life if you give up on your quest to attain it. Keep going until you’ve arrived where you want to be.

Your best life is out there ready for you to claim it! Be completely honest with yourself, make a plan, and stick with it until you’ve arrived. The life you desire is attainable and within your reach. Do you have the courage to make it happen?

Take a chance on feeling happy and fulfilled. Chase after your dream life.

You need to move to make your dreams and your life better. Just having dreams isn’t enough.

Book a 15-minute “Get to know you” call by clicking on the blue button below

and we can talk about how you can move your dreams to reality and live the life you desire.

To your success

Michael

P.S. if you have always thought that you should have a Life Coach on your personal team to help you create the best year of your life but were put off by the cost and the time requirement, I have created a Self-paced course that covers what we would do when working together.

While not the same as working one-on-one with a Life Coach, this self-paced course can help you to understand your present situation, how you got there and how to set goals that will move you forwards to success.

Click on the logo below to find out more about the course

Image by rafaelutza from Pixabay