Are You Self-confident? Do You Display It?

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

~ Judy Garland

When you meet someone do you show that you have self-confidence or do you come across as someone who is not too sure of themselves?

The article below gives some advice on how to show self-confidence to the outside world.

Convey Self Confidence – Gain Respect – by Ian Russell

Fireman and fire - self confidenceHas anyone ever said to you… push your shoulders back, puff your chest out, get your chin up – if so you have heard a few of the popular expressions people use to stimulate someone into making a good impression. These expressions indicate how important our bearing and body language are in imparting who we are to the world. If you are fortunate enough to have been brought up in a family with the means to enroll you in deportment and elocution lessons, these would have taught you how to carry yourself with elegance and poise thereby conveying an air of self-confidence to those around you. It is more likely, however, that the majority of readers, and indeed the writer, did not reap the benefits of lessons in etiquette. While you don’t have to speak like Queen Elizabeth to convey confidence, body language and intonation is important and here is why.

There is a lot of truth in the old saying that first impressions count. In fact, within just 5 seconds of meeting someone we will already have formed a judgement that will affect our behaviour towards them. It definitely isn’t easy getting ourselves noticed in this hectic modern world and when this is applied to a job market which is progressively more competitive, making the right impression can make or break your chances of having a successful interview or business deal.

Where to start? In a moment we will look at what not to do, but firstly let’s make ourselves aware that self-confidence is a form of strength and that is why it is so attractive to others. Bearing that in mind, try to portray yourself in a way that avoids you looking inhibited or vulnerable. Some examples of this type of body language are: hanging your head, slouching your shoulders, or avoiding direct eye contact. These particular actions imply to others that you have a problem with self-belief. Whether it’s for an interview or a business deal, you don’t have to be Einstein to see that people won’t believe in you as an ‘investment’ if the investment does not believe in itself. Correspondingly, in your personal life people will immediately pick up on the signals you give. Given that, what should be your plan of action?

The opposite of the examples given above should be first on the list – holding your head high and standing with your shoulders back are both confident gestures. But the most important signal of them all is eye contact. Maintaining eye contact while speaking and listening generates a sense of familiarity, resolve and sincerity between yourself and the other person. If I told you that a recent survey asked a group of venture capitalists what they looked for in a successful pitch and that the top answer mostly came back as eye contact, would you then take it seriously?

In order to install it as a natural aspect of your personality you will need to maintain an air of confidence at all times. This applies in every situation whether easy or stressful. It is a popular belief that you see the true measure of someone when the chips are down and in my own experience I have found that is usually the case. In stressful situations some people panic and rather than looking for a solution to the problem in a rational and composed way they will blame others and look for the easy way out. To be an effective leader who commands respect from their inferiors you must deal with stress in a positive and confident manner, if you can’t do this then perhaps being at the front is not for you. By remaining calm under pressure you are far more likely to project the right image to others.

What you display needn’t necessarily be the same as what you feel – even if your apparent demeanour is not a true reflection of what is going on inside, you will still convey the appropriate signals to encourage those around you. That is the remarkable thing about confident body language. All it takes is a simple gesture to inspire confidence and respect in those around you.

Michael

Michael Wilkovesky

Michael is a certified Life Optimization coach as well as a Law of Attraction and Law of Attraction Wealth coach.
To discuss what a life coach can do for you and your motivation, and to schedule a session with Michael, use the contact form below.


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Defeat Low Self Esteem

“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” ~ Les Brown

If you suffer from low self esteem, you can deal it a crushing blow. There are many methods to really defeat your feelings of low self esteem. We will discuss a few of these methods in this article.

Low Self Esteem – 3 Easy Ways to Crush Low Self Esteem by Sam Arch

how well do you really know yourself?Low self esteem is a devastating downward spiral of negative thinking. Every negative thought you have about yourself dents your confidence. That in turn is made obvious to anyone that meets you and they react to that. This then reaffirms your perception of yourself as useless and worthless.

The only way to break out of the black hole of low self esteem is to smash this negative thinking spiral and replace it with a positive thinking cycle. This is sometimes referred to as a virtuous circle. Positive thoughts make you more self confident. People see this and treat you as someone worthy of their attention. This reaffirms your self belief and so on.

So if the secret to improving your self esteem is in changing your subconscious thought patterns, how can you do it? Easy. Build up an arsenal of powerful ‘mind weapons’ which you will use every day until they become second nature to you. Usually within about thirty days.

Here are three quick and easy ‘mind weapons’ to get you started. Although simple to use, they become hugely effective when you develop the habit of using them and they take effect on autopilot.

The first mind weapon is the fixed positive thought. Your aim is to create one extremely powerful positive thought about yourself which you will draw upon every time you feel bad about yourself. To make this powerful, listen to your favourite happy song with your eyes closed and imagine yourself doing something you are good at and really enjoy.

Do this exercise every day for a month until the image is deep in your mind. Every time you feel low, go and listen to that song and close your eyes if you are in a place to do so. Over time you can recreate this in your own mind without having to close your eyes or even listen to the song. It will take place in your mind.

The second mind weapon is switch thinking. Imagine walking into a party and someone attractive looks over at you. Your low self esteem reaction would be to think that that person thinks you are ugly and boring. Instantly switch that thought to the exact opposite. Imagine that look means they find you attractive and they are catching your eye hoping you will come and talk to them.

Cue your fixed positive thought and then give a quick smile back and move straight on with purpose to something else whilst fixing an imagine in your mind that the other person has smiled back. Giving someone a smile whilst not waiting for one back shows the other person extreme self confidence and they will admire you for that. Over time you will feel comfortable with this and allow yourself to wait for the real smile back which will ultimately come.

The third mind weapon is critical thinking. If you are self conscious you will imagine that everyone is judging you and your actions every second of the day. You are processing those negative thoughts almost constantly and it is exhausting and humiliating.

With critical thinking, make snap decisions on how to process these incoming thoughts. You cannot prevent these thoughts coming in but you can decide to simply ignore them. If it is all too much for you simply allow the thoughts, as they say, to pass in one ear and straight out of the other. Then just switch to your fixed positive thought.

If you have a bit more confident with this you can allow the negative thought to be stay long enough to be processed. In most cases you will recognise that it is an irrational thought and not worthy of reacting to and let it go.

What about those negative thoughts that do seem to have some rational truth to them? This is where you make the biggest leap. You accept that nobody is perfect and there is absolutely no way you can please everybody all of the time. Think to yourself “Yeah? And so what…” Honestly, try it. It is one of the most liberating thoughts you can have.

The key to successfully dispelling low self esteem and building immense self confidence is to create your own personal arsenal of these quick and easy mind weapons. Use each one at least once a day for a month until they become second nature. A habit or subconscious thought pattern then happens automatically. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you give them a try.

Michael

Michael Wilkovesky

Michael is a certified Life Optimization coach as well as a Law of Attraction and Law of Attraction Wealth coach.
To discuss what a life coach can do for you and your motivation, and to schedule a session with Michael, use the contact form below.

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Transform your crippling low self esteem into rock solid self confidence in just thirty days with this complimentary video at http://SecretMindForce.com

Personal Growth Maximizing Advice

You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” ― Stephen Richards, Think Your way to Success: Let Your Dreams Run Free

Are you growing or just struggling to stay in one place? Persona; growth is hard to measure but it is one aspect of your life that is important to continue growing. Here is some advice on achieving personal growth.

Maximizing Your Personal Growth

how well do you really know yourself?Will you be pleased with how you have lived your life as you grow older? Would you like to tell the world what you have achieved? If this is what you want, then you have start now to achieve personal growth.

Signs of Growth

Do you know if you are going along the right path in your life? Sometimes it is easy to lose track of things but you do need to find a method to remember so that you can see how well or how poorly you are doing. Knowing and being aware of your pace of growth and development is important as being aware is key when change is necessary in your life.

Growth signs you need to be aware of

Successful relationships

What are your relationships like? Do you have good and genuine relationships or are you trying to figure out who are your true friends? Can you keep a relationship? Do you deal with people in your professional or personal level easily or do you have problems? Relationships are hard to handle and some people will be experts but not everyone will know how to do the right things.

Survive your struggle

We will all encounter struggles that will try to bring you down. How you react will define the kind of person you really are. Do you work with grace even under pressure or do you lose control? You must be able to control your thoughts and actions if you want to survive life’s challenges.

High self-esteem

Do you have confidence in yourself? Not many people do. Some need a constant push or reminder form family and friends to continue to believe in what they can do and achieve and in their own abilities. True confidence and belief in what you can do means that you have grown into the individual that you were meant to be. You do not need to seek other’s approval nor should you care what other people say about you. You are whole and nothing and no one can bring you down.

Completeness

You are complete when you are satisfied with all aspects of your life. If you have achieved what you want in life without having to compromise, then you know that you have achieved your true level of growth. You will be complete when you are satisfied, you will be satisfied when you are truly happy.

It is easy to measure physical growth, personal growth is difficult to measure but that is the one that truly matters. Personal growth is important. It will help you to achieve great things and define you for who you truly are.

Michael

Michael Wilkovesky

Michael is a certified Life Optimization coach as well as a Law of Attraction and Law of Attraction Wealth coach.

To discuss what a life coach can do for you and your motivation, and to schedule a session with Michael, use the contact form below.

Increasing Your Self-Confidence

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Self-confidence. We all want it and many believe that they don’t have it. This is just not true. You can have all of the self-confidence that you want just by doing some simple things to take you out of your comfort zone and by some slight alterations of your beliefs. Continue reading the article below for more on increasing your self-confidence level.

Self-Confidence Can Be Increased With Practice

confident catHow we perceive ourselves will determine our confidence. Being afraid to try or being confident in your abilities derives from our understanding and acceptance of the experiences we all go through in life. Some people can better recognize their abilities and are able to achieve their goals when they are compared to other people

we sometimes believe that self-confidence is something that other people have, a lot like we are not rich. However we are all created equal and we all have the inner power to achieve anything. This inequality comes with our ideas of what we already have and we fail to recognize this in a positive way.

When things don’t go as expected, don’t be to hard on yourself. This will help to overcome the lack of confidence you feel. Enjoy life, don’t deprive yourself of this experience. Refrain from making excuses as to why you have not reached your goals. Change your mindset and think of the positive things in your life and how you achieved them.

Some people believe that they are limited by their experiences. That doesn’t mean that we can’t learn and grow from our experiences and change how we perceive ourselves. We all have certain talents, beauty and skills within us along with the power to use them or disregard them. Life has more to offer than mediocrity once we recognize our potential.

Self-confidence and how we can improve it is achieved only when we dare to step out of our comfort zone and do new things. Sometimes we fail to recognize that simple things like just reflecting on our past achievements can help us to improve our level of confidence.

Self-confidence can be built up in a number of ways. Developing your verbal skills through public speaking and writing will help to increase your sense of self. We sometimes fear public speaking but once you take the steps to overcome this fear, you will discover that your confidence is increasing and you can do even more things that used to be difficult. This will work for any fear that you have. When you make up your mind to defeat the fear you open up a world of possibilities.

Recognize that life holds endless possibilities and you just need to be open to them, you can take control of your life and become a strong, confident person who can accomplish anything that you try.

Michael

Michael Wilkovesky

Michael is a certified Life Optimization coach as well as a Law of Attraction and Law of Attraction Wealth coach.

To discuss what a life coach can do for you and your motivation, and to schedule a session with Michael, use the contact form below.