Being yourself sounds simple, but it isn’t. Most of us are taught from a young age that blending in is safer. Standing out often leads to judgment, isolation or mockery — especially in childhood. That early programming doesn’t just fade with age. It lingers, quietly urging us to downplay our quirks, silence our opinions and mimic the crowd.
But here’s the hard truth: you will never feel fully alive while pretending to be someone you’re not. The version of you that plays it safe, quiet or invisible might survive — but it won’t thrive. You don’t just owe it to yourself to show up authentically. The world needs what only you can offer.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
Here’s how to break free of the mould and live as the bold, unapologetic version of yourself.
1. Recognize the Pull to Conform
Every human has an instinct to fit in. It’s hardwired. From evolution to culture, we’re taught that safety lies in numbers and sameness. But while that may have helped us survive as a species, it can also suppress what makes us valuable as individuals.
You don’t have to erase your uniqueness to be accepted. The most admired and successful people are often the ones who rejected that pressure and stood confidently in their uniqueness. Musicians with unconventional styles, business leaders who broke the mould, creatives who defied trends — they didn’t blend in. They owned their difference.
Start by acknowledging the discomfort that comes with standing out. You’re not weak for feeling it. But don’t let it decide how you live.
2. Understand the Power of Authenticity
People respect authenticity. When someone speaks their truth, wears what they want, creates what they love or refuses to filter themselves, it’s magnetic. Why? Because it gives others silent permission to do the same.
When you show up as yourself, flaws and all, you make space for real connection. You stop performing and start living. That kind of presence is rare — and valuable.
Yes, some people may criticize or envy your confidence. That’s about them, not you. Most will appreciate your honesty and be drawn to your self-assurance.
3. Define What Sets You Apart
What makes you different is often what makes you most powerful. But you need to get clear on what that is.
Ask yourself:
- What am I naturally good at?
- What do people often compliment me on?
- What do I care about deeply?
- What experiences or perspectives do I bring that others might not?
Maybe you think differently. Maybe your sense of humour is sharp and left-field. Maybe you solve problems in unconventional ways. Maybe your creativity doesn’t look like anyone else’s. Whatever it is, stop burying it. Bring it forward.
4. Show Yourself in Manageable Steps
No one’s asking you to rip off the mask all at once. You can start small and still make real progress.
If you’re a painter who’s shy about sharing your work, post one piece anonymously. Then another. Then one under your name. If you have strong opinions but usually keep quiet, share one thought in a safe conversation. Then another.
The point is to find low-stakes ways to stretch your comfort zone. Expression builds confidence. Expression is confidence in action.
And yes — your first steps may feel awkward. But awkward is better than invisible. Keep going.
5. Embrace Feedback Without Losing Yourself
As you begin to show up more authentically, you’ll get reactions. Some positive, some not. Focus on the ones that build you up.
Accept praise. Let compliments land. That’s not arrogance — it’s reinforcement. At the same time, learn to separate useful feedback from irrelevant criticism. Not everyone’s opinion matters. Not every voice needs your attention.
The more you trust your own compass, the less power external noise will have.
6. Find People Who Get You
You don’t have to be a solo act. Surrounding yourself with others who are also striving to live honestly can be incredibly grounding.
Look for people who:
- Encourage your growth
- Celebrate your weirdness
- Are unafraid to be seen as different
That could be an art group, a mastermind circle, an online community or just one or two close allies. The key is this: be around people who fuel your authenticity — not suppress it.
7. Stretch Yourself on Purpose
Comfort zones are easy but deadly. They numb your ambition and dull your voice. Growth lives just past comfort — every time.
Get used to doing small things that feel slightly risky:
- Wear what you want, not what’s expected.
- Say what you actually think in meetings.
- Share something meaningful online.
- Pitch that creative idea, even if it feels too bold.
The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is momentum. Keep moving toward a fuller expression of who you are, and your confidence will grow to match it.
8. Own Your Weird, Own Your Worth
Let’s be blunt. Being average is not your job. Being safe, small or silent isn’t your destiny. The world isn’t suffering from too much individuality. It’s starving for it.
So whatever you’ve been holding back — your humour, your talent, your ideas, your vibe — it’s time to let it out. You don’t need permission. You need commitment.
Be the person who doesn’t shrink to fit. Be the one who reclaims their voice. Because when you own your weird, you start owning your worth — and everything else starts to change.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Photo by neida zarate on Unsplash
