Everybody has a setback every once in a while, but it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you. In fact, failure can be a great opportunity to learn your own limitations and boundaries, and provide you with a chance to learn how to think outside the box.
Unfortunately, we are often taught that accepting failure means accepting that we are failures. We begin to believe that we are not worthy of any kind of encouragement or positivity, simply because we are overwhelmed by the incredible emotions that come with the idea that we are worthless when we are not succeeding at something.
The fact of the matter is that success is something that has to be personally defined, otherwise, you will find that you are far more inhibited by the expectations and interpretations of success that other people place on your shoulders. Nobody deserves to have their sense of self-worth defined by somebody else. That is a personal choice, and a very important thing for you to do in this sense is to really sit down and consider what you would define as successful.
First of all, acceptance is the key. The first step to anything as being able to accept that it is happening and it is something in your life that you need to deal with. Staying in denial about anything can be a very big problem. If you are in denial about the way you feel when you experience a failure, then you are going to have a much harder time served passing that obstacle. It’s okay for you to be upset that something didn’t go right. Don’t beat yourself up about it too long. But do accept that you feel unhappy about it and work through those feelings completely.
The next thing you need to remember is never to identify yourself as a failure. Putting labels on yourself like this can be extremely difficult for you to overcome. You are not a failure because something went wrong. Nobody is ever a failure. However, we often get stuck and stop seeing the opportunities that are still around us to either make things right or to go in a new and even better direction.
This is when it is helpful to start to consider the situation from all angles. There is bound to be a way for you to benefit from the situation, even if it isn’t the one that you are hoping it would be. Think about what you can learn from your failure and how you can grow from it. Think about what constructive things can be taken away from your failure and allow yourself to consider all options rather than feeling as if there are no other alternatives. There is always an option. Whether we are able to accept that option or not is a personal choice.
What is most important though, is to understand that failure is a common part of life. Nothing that is worthwhile happens easily. There is always going to be something in the way, and as long as you are willing to face it head-on and see it objectively, then you will never be a failure. You will be a success who is capable of rising from the ashes.
To your success
Michael W
P.S. If you are looking for a confidence program that can help you with your self development. Send me an email at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to request a copy of my “Maximum Confidence Transformation Package”. Afterwards we can arrange a discovery telephone call to discuss the package and how you can benefit further from developing your confidence level.
