Confidence is one of the most powerful traits you can cultivate. It helps you take risks, pursue goals and navigate life with courage and presence. But when confidence crosses the line into arrogance, it stops being empowering and starts being alienating.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
So where’s the line? And how do you know when you’ve crossed it?
This article explores the critical differences between confidence and arrogance — what they look like, how they affect others, and how to stay rooted in self-assurance without tipping into ego-driven behaviour.
What Confidence Actually Looks Like
Confidence is grounded in self-assurance and humility. A confident person doesn’t need to dominate the room or prove their worth to others. They know what they bring to the table and don’t feel threatened by others’ success or opinions.
Confident people:
- Own their strengths but admit their weaknesses
- Show up with respect and curiosity
- Inspire trust without trying to control
- Speak clearly but also listen fully
- Make others feel heard, not dismissed
Confidence feels solid and steady. It’s not loud or flashy — it’s calm, centred and quietly powerful.
What Arrogance Looks Like in Disguise
Arrogance, on the other hand, is often confidence gone unchecked. It’s a mask for insecurity — an overcompensation that says, “I need to prove I’m better.”
Arrogant behaviour can look like:
- Bragging or name-dropping to elevate status
- Belittling others to feel superior
- Always being late or dismissive of others’ time
- Never admitting mistakes or saying “I don’t know”
- Interrupting, dominating conversations or showing disinterest
- Blaming others to avoid accountability
At its core, arrogance is driven by ego. It may come off as confidence, but it’s performative — and people can sense the difference.
Self-Check: Are You Projecting Confidence or Arrogance?
To stay grounded in real confidence, you need self-awareness. Here are 8 questions to ask yourself:
1. Do you make eye contact?
Confident people engage. Avoiding eye contact can signal disinterest or self-importance.
2. Are you punctual?
Being late all the time shows a lack of respect. Confidence respects others’ time.
3. Do you belittle others — directly or subtly?
Calling people “stupid” or mocking others’ success says more about your insecurity than your intelligence.
4. Do you “one-up” others in conversation?
Confidence lets others shine. Arrogance needs to outshine.
5. Do you take responsibility when you’re wrong?
Confident people own their mistakes. Arrogant people blame and deflect.
6. Are you always name-dropping?
Confidence speaks for itself. Arrogance leans on external validation.
7. Do you pretend to know everything?
Confidence says, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” Arrogance fakes it to save face.
8. Do you actually listen — or just wait to speak?
True confidence includes humility. You don’t need to dominate every conversation to feel seen.
The Emotional Wake You Leave Behind
The biggest difference between confidence and arrogance is the emotional impact you have on others.
Confidence uplifts people.
Arrogance pushes them away.
Confident people make you feel safe, motivated and seen. Arrogant people make others feel small, unheard or irrelevant.
Ask yourself: What’s the emotional wake I leave behind after a conversation? Are people walking away inspired — or drained?
Confidence Without Humility Isn’t Real Confidence
True confidence requires a dose of humility. You can be proud of yourself without putting others down. You can trust your voice while making space for others to speak. You can be confident and still say, “I don’t know.”
Humility isn’t weakness — it’s maturity. It’s what separates leaders from egotists.
Confidence with humility:
- Earns respect, rather than demanding it
- Creates connection instead of conflict
- Builds trust instead of suspicion
How to Reinforce Healthy Confidence
Confidence is a habit. Arrogance is often a reaction. Here’s how to stay on the right side of the line:
1. Stay curious.
Confidence is open. Arrogance is closed. Ask questions. Be willing to learn.
2. Speak to lift others.
Confident people speak truth with kindness. They don’t need to dominate or destroy.
3. Check your tone.
It’s not always what you say — it’s how you say it. Be mindful of how your words land.
4. Watch your body language.
Make eye contact. Avoid crossed arms or smug expressions. Stay present.
5. Admit your missteps.
There’s power in saying, “I was wrong.” It builds credibility.
6. Celebrate others.
Spotlight someone else’s success. It won’t dim your light — it strengthens your presence.
Why Arrogance Is a Confidence Killer in Disguise
Here’s the paradox: arrogance doesn’t signal strength — it reveals fear. It comes from the need to be validated, liked or seen as superior. But the very behaviours arrogant people use to gain admiration usually lead to isolation.
Confidence is different. It’s quiet. Steady. Authentic. It doesn’t need the spotlight because it is the spotlight. You don’t chase approval — you radiate self-belief.
If you want people to respect you, be confident. If you want them to avoid you, act arrogant. It’s that simple.
Confidence Is Magnetic — Arrogance Is Repellent
The takeaway? You absolutely can be too confident — when it tips into arrogance.
The key is staying grounded in your values:
- Know your strengths, but don’t weaponize them.
- Speak up, but leave room for others.
- Take pride, but also take feedback.
- Lead, but listen.
Confidence opens doors. Arrogance shuts them. So check your behaviour, adjust your mindset and remember — real confidence doesn’t need to prove anything. It just shows up and shines.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com
