Your inner critic is the voice inside your head that judges, doubts and undermines you. It questions your worth, your capabilities and your decisions. It sounds like it’s trying to protect you — but in reality, it’s often just replaying outdated fears and criticisms from your past.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re not good enough, smart enough or worthy enough, that’s your inner critic talking. And while it may seem like part of your personality, it isn’t. It’s a learned voice — and you can unlearn it. You can quiet it, reframe it, and even use it as fuel for growth.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
This post breaks down how to make peace with your inner critic so it stops controlling your thoughts, emotions and progress. Let’s explore practical ways to shift from self-attack to self-respect.
What Is the Inner Critic, Really?
The inner critic is a mental pattern — a habitual voice formed over time, usually rooted in childhood. It mimics authority figures from your early life who may have judged or scolded you. While it may have started as a protective mechanism (“Don’t mess up — stay safe”), over time it becomes toxic.
It can:
- Shut down creativity.
- Undermine motivation.
- Sabotage relationships.
- Fuel anxiety and depression.
Silencing or transforming that voice is essential for building self-confidence and reaching your potential.
Making Peace with Your Inner Critic
The goal isn’t to destroy the inner critic — it’s to understand it, then shift the power dynamic so it no longer runs your life. These strategies help you do just that:
1. Increase Awareness
The first step is simply noticing the voice. Most people run on autopilot, unaware of how damaging their self-talk really is.
Start by:
- Journaling your thoughts when you feel anxious or down.
- Catching moments when you’re criticizing yourself.
- Identifying the tone — is it harsh? Demanding? Sarcastic?
Awareness creates the space to respond instead of just react.
2. Trace the Voice to Its Source
Ask yourself:
- Who does this voice remind you of?
- When did you first start hearing these kinds of messages?
Maybe it echoes a parent, teacher or an early boss. Understanding where it came from can help you realize: it’s not you. It’s a recording — and you don’t have to keep playing it.
3. Adopt a Growth Mindset
Your critic tends to fixate on past failures. It says, “You failed, so you always will.”
Counter it by committing to a growth mindset. Remind yourself:
- “I can learn from mistakes.”
- “I’m not defined by one moment.”
- “Skills can be developed through effort.”
Shift your focus from perfection to progress.
4. Align with a Deeper Purpose
When you stay focused on your goals — especially those rooted in meaning — you can withstand more inner doubt.
Ask:
- “Why am I doing this?”
- “What’s at stake if I let fear win?”
Purpose makes the discomfort of self-doubt more bearable — and more worthwhile.
5. Try Mindful Meditation
Meditation won’t silence your critic immediately, but it helps you observe thoughts without being controlled by them.
Try:
- Sitting for five minutes a day.
- Noticing thoughts without judgment.
- Labelling the inner critic when it shows up (“Ah, there’s the judge.”)
Over time, this builds distance between you and the critic’s voice.
How to Quiet the Inner Critic When It’s Too Loud
Sometimes, your critic ramps up to unbearable levels. In these moments, you need tools to interrupt the cycle and regain control.
1. Find Distractions That Ground You
Shift focus when you feel spiraling thoughts:
- Go for a walk and focus on your surroundings.
- Read, paint or cook.
- Do anything that brings you into the present.
Distraction isn’t avoidance — it’s redirection.
2. Distance Yourself from the Voice
Try this trick: turn the critical voice into a cartoon character. Give it a silly name. Imagine it talking to someone else.
Example:
- Instead of “You’re a failure,” reframe it as, “Stan the Worrier thinks someone messed up again. Classic Stan.”
Humour disarms the critic and takes away its authority.
3. Know Your Triggers
Notice the patterns:
- When does your critic show up?
- Is it after social interactions? Before a big decision?
Identify your weak spots so you can prepare. Acknowledge the trigger, and remind yourself: this is just a habitual response, not a truth.
4. List Your Strengths
Combat negativity with real evidence. Write down:
- 5 things you’re proud of.
- 5 skills you’ve developed.
- 3 times you bounced back from something tough.
You are not your worst thoughts. Balance the scales with truth.
5. Challenge Exaggerations
The inner critic speaks in extremes: always, never, everyone thinks, you can’t.
Ask:
- “Is this actually true?”
- “What’s the evidence?”
- “What would I say to a friend who said this about themselves?”
Keep it honest, not catastrophic.
6. Use Positive Affirmations Intentionally
Affirmations aren’t cheesy when they’re specific and believable.
Try:
- “I’m doing the best I can today.”
- “I deserve patience while I learn.”
- “My worth doesn’t depend on perfection.”
Say them aloud. Write them down. Let them interrupt the critic’s broadcast.
7. Rebuild Self-Worth One Thought at a Time
Your inner critic erodes self-esteem over time. Reverse the damage with daily messages of worth.
Start by saying:
- “I’m enough, even when I struggle.”
- “I deserve love and success, just like anyone else.”
Confidence isn’t arrogance — it’s accepting your inherent value.
8. Lean on Real Support
You don’t have to fight this battle alone. Healthy relationships can buffer the impact of negative self-talk.
Choose people who:
- Reflect your strengths back to you.
- Challenge your inner critic with facts.
- Celebrate your wins.
Let others help you remember who you are.
You’re Not Broken, Just Conditioned
Your inner critic is loud, but it’s not the truth. It’s a voice you learned — and you can unlearn it. Like any habit, it can be rewired with patience, practice and self-compassion.
Peace with your inner critic isn’t about silencing it forever. It’s about building a better relationship with yourself — one where that voice no longer holds the mic 24/7. You’re in charge now.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Photo by Andrew Valdivia on Unsplash
