Self-Talk

2016-09-152016-09-13 ~ adminlife

What is Self-Talk?

Do you know that inner voice that always seems to be going? It is constantly “telling” you what you should do, what you might do, and reflecting on things you have already done. It evaluates what you do while you’re doing it, providing opinions and suggesting possible ramifications and outcomes. This is one type of inner monologue which psychologists have identified and labeled as “self-talk”.

To get a better idea of exactly what self-talk is, psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne likens self talk to the “equivalent of sports announcers commenting on a player’s successes or failures on the playing field.” Unlike athletes that never hear a television or radio sports commentator’s voice, you definitely “hear” what your self-talk is telling you.

Unfortunately, this voice you seem to have no control over can be negative sometimes.

Think about the last time you did something embarrassing. You may have experienced self-talk telling you how stupid you were. Sometimes it is critical even if you haven’t done anything wrong. It reminds you that you are probably going to mess something up, because you’ve done it in the past.

As it turns out, you can respond with negative and positive self-talk to the same situation. It all depends on how you lead your thoughts. For instance, pretend that you have just eaten at a restaurant that all your friends think is amazing. You thought it was overpriced, the food was average at best, the service stunk and you had to wait too long for your food.

You find yourself at a party with your friends, when several of them corner you and excitedly ask you what you thought about the restaurant they recommended. You tell them your feelings, holding nothing back. They all say you are crazy, that it is the greatest restaurant of all time.

Your inner dialogue can respond in 2 different ways.

Perhaps you tell yourself, “Why didn’t you just keep your mouth shut!? Now you look like an idiot.” In response to the exact same situation, you could choose positive, constructive self-talk instead. You could say, “Good for you, for sticking to your beliefs. You reported exactly what happened, you didn’t overstate the situation, and it’s okay if your friends disagree with you about this unimportant topic.”

Psychologists believe that consistently driving your self-talk in a positive, constructive direction can train your mind to respond that way. At first you will not find yourself able to redirect your inner voice. It will simply blurt out a subconscious response. However, by continually appraising dysfunctional self-talk and turning it around, you create less stress in your life, boost your self-esteem, and feel good about your inner dialogue.

To your success

Michael W

Overcoming The Fear Of Making Mistakes

2016-09-132016-09-12 ~ adminlife

How to Overcome the Fear of Making Mistakes

Fear of making mistakes can cripple you. This fear can keep you from developing and maintaining wonderful relationships. It can limit your potential career-wise, and create mental stress and anxiety that lead to physical problems. So, how do you overcome the fear of making mistakes? The following tips and practices are proven to psychologically help you deal with your fear of failure, and move past it.

Realize That You Are Going to Make Mistakes

Human beings are imperfect in so many ways. That’s why we make mistakes. However, without trying to accomplish things we aren’t sure that we can achieve, our growth is stifled. You are going to make mistakes. Everyone does. Come to grips with this unavoidable fact of life and move past it.

Understand That No One Is Watching, and No One Really Cares

Many times, people are scared of making mistakes because of what others will think about them. The truth is, the world is not centered around you. Your mistakes are your own, no one else’s. It may be a sobering reality, but the world is not waiting for you to fail so they can laugh at you. In most cases, no one is concerned about your failure but yourself, so swing the bat. Who cares if you strike out?

Failure Can Lead to Life-Changing Success

Thomas Edison failed a reported 1,000 times before he invented the light bulb. In school his teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything”. He was fired from his first two jobs because he was unproductive. What if Edison had given into those early mental setbacks and stopped inventing?

Arguably one of the most important inventions of human history came about because Edison could’nt care less whether or not he failed. When a reporter once asked him how it felt to fail 1,000 times before he successfully discovered how to harness electricity for light, Edison said, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Understand That Failure Never Produces the Disastrous Results You Are Picturing in Your Mind

The human mind is hardwired to protect us. When you contemplate failing at a certain endeavor, you inevitably over-exaggerate the results of a possible failure in your mind. This is a survival instinct that dates back to the caveman days. Failure back then meant getting eaten by a bear, starving or freezing to death.

We still have that mechanism in our brains today, but for most of us, our survival is fortunately not on the line when we make decisions. Think about the times you’ve failed in the past. Odds are the horrific outcome you had created in your mind was totally overblown. The results of failure are almost never as disastrous as we expect they will be.

To your success

Michael W

Procrastination – 6 Major Reasons

2016-09-122016-09-09 ~ adminlife

6 Major Reasons People Procrastinate

Do you procrastinate? Are you constantly putting things off, even when you know accomplishing them is the best thing to do? If so, you are certainly not alone. Everyone procrastinates or shirks responsibility at some time or other. The problem is that chronic procrastination can damage your health, ruin you financially, and create a rash of mental and emotional problems.

If that is the case, and human beings know what we should be doing, why aren’t we doing them?

Sometimes procrastination is intentional, and sometimes it is a byproduct of your lifestyle. Listed below are 6 common reasons why you procrastinate. Understanding the motivation behind your avoidance and putting off of responsibilities is the first step to stopping that behavior.

1 – Poor Diet

This one probably surprised you, didn’t it? It shouldn’t.

Many people living in modern civilizations eat too much processed food. They are consuming sugar, salt, MSG, trans fats, fast foods and other food-like products that are unhealthy. This has led to the highest incidence rate of obesity and overweight in human history. When you are tired, lethargic and your body does not get the nutrients it needs, you have little energy and your brain does not function properly.

Get more live, organic, fresh fruits and vegetables into your diet. Eat less foods that come in a wrapper, bag or box. Start reading food labels, and avoid sugar, salt, MSG and trans fats. Make more meals at home, eating wild caught salmon and tuna, nuts, berries, grass-fed beef and organic dairy products. You will not only sharpen your mind and stop procrastinating, but you will also become healthier and lose unneeded body fat in the process.

2 – Lack of Motivation

When a task is boring, or you “just don’t feel like doing it”, it is easy to put off. Remind yourself why you are doing any particular task or handling a responsibility. When you understand the important reasons why something is on your to-do list, you can motivate yourself through to its completion.

3 – Time Issues

“I don’t have the time!” Have you ever used this excuse in order to procrastinate or put something off? Most human beings in today’s busy society have a lot on their plates. There are a lot of tasks and responsibilities to handle. But the truth is, we waste so many hours every day and week because we do not properly prioritize or plan our actions. A daily, weekly and monthly activity planner solves this problem.

4 – Fear of Criticism

A perfectionist attitude can easily lead to procrastination. You want something to be “just right” before you cross it off your to-do list. This is really a deep-seated fear of criticism, either from yourself or others. Understand that nothing is ever perfect, make it acceptable, and move on.

5 – Fear of Rejection or Disappointment

Have you ever put off making a telephone call or speaking with someone? The communication is important and you know it, but you still keep finding reasons to put it off. This could be based on a fear of disappointment or rejection. You don’t want the other person to tell you something you don’t want to hear.

6 – Avoidance of Failure

Sometimes your “I’ll do it later” attitude is very simple to understand. You are afraid of failure. No one likes to fail. However, all of the great achievements in human history were made on the back of repetitive failures. If you are afraid to fail, you may never achieve anything truly important in your life, mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually.

To your success

Michael W

9 Common Stumbling Blocks To Success

2016-09-102016-09-08 ~ adminlife

The Most Common Stumbling Blocks to Success

It’s hard to find someone that doesn’t want to succeed. Success can be elusive, because there are so many obstacles to success. These obstacles aren’t fatal, but they greatly decrease progress. When these obstacles aren’t avoided, the resulting frustration can make the average person consider quitting altogether.

Avoid these common stumbling blocks to success:

Not doing enough. Highly successful people are notorious for outworking everyone else. Success can be simple, but it often requires long hours of hard work. If you’re not known for your work ethic, the solution to your lack of success might simply be to do more. Be smart in your approach, but also be determined to outwork your competition.
A lack of consistency. You can’t follow a diet 50% of the time and expect to reach your weight-loss goal. Your efforts must be consistent if success is the objective. Create daily habits and stick with them.

Measure your consistency as well as your progress. Notice how they correlate.

Having too many goals. Serving too many masters can result in poor results. Decide which of your objectives is most important and concentrate your efforts accordingly. Avoid spreading yourself too thin. After you’ve accomplished your top 2 or 3 objectives, you can return to the others.
Unclear objectives. If you’re uncertain about what you want, your results will be limited. Be very clear about your goals. It’s all in the details. Can you clearly define your goals without having to think about them? Could you just rattle your goals off to another person? Do you have them written down? Will it be clear when you’ve accomplished them?
Limiting beliefs. Doubt and uncertainty are very limiting. Negative thoughts provide negative results. Keep your thoughts and expectations positive.

When you think about achieving a big goal, what are the thoughts that run through your mind? Do you feel motivation or a sense of dread? Is your self-talk positive or negative?
Do you believe you can be successful? Do you believe you can be highly successful? What’s stopping you from being the most successful person you know?

Failing to get expert advice. Whether you want to make $100 million, swim the English Channel, or learn how to waltz, there are people that have accomplished those very things. It only makes sense to get their assistance.
Taking shortcuts. The key to reaching your goals faster is to work harder and smarter. However, trying to skip steps can lead to disaster. Success is accomplished one step at a time.
Sticking to methods that aren’t working. Be attached to your outcome, but avoid being attached to the process. Your first guess on how to achieve your goal probably won’t be correct. Change your plan if you’re not getting the results you want. Use what works and discard what doesn’t.
Fear. Fear can show itself in many ways. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of how your friends and family will treat you if you’re successful. Fear of approaching new customers. Fear of criticism.

Determining the source of your fear will make it easier to overcome. What are you afraid of and why?
Less obvious symptoms of fear include fatigue, procrastination, forgetfulness, and a lack of motivation.

Be clear on your objective and be willing to put in the necessary time and effort. Address any limiting beliefs and fears before they become an issue. The stumbling blocks to success can be overcome or avoided. Ensure your success by educating yourself about the potential barriers in your way.

To your success

Michael W

Eliminate Negative Self Image – 9 Strategies

2016-09-092016-09-07 ~ adminlife

Proven Strategies to Eliminate a Negative Self-Image

Your self-image is your perception of yourself. You might think of yourself as intelligent, lazy, bad with money, likeable, and eccentric. Your beliefs about yourself can be liberating or constricting.

Your self-image can influence your decisions and limit your ability to succeed. For example, if you believe that you’re bad at speaking with strangers, you may avoid social situations that include people you don’t know. As a result, you might miss out on your biggest opportunity to meet the love of your life, a recruiter for your dream job, or a life-long friend.

Change your self-image and enhance your life with these techniques:

Address your bad habits. No one is perfect. If you’re being completely honest, there are things about you that could use a little work. Shore up your shortcomings. Get in shape, practice being more patient, or be a better friend.

Focus on making progress. Perfection is an unreasonable goal.

Make a list of your good points. Do this in the morning and the evening. Make a long list and then add at least one item each morning and evening. Remind yourself of all the things you’re already good at. What do you appreciate about yourself? Review the list regularly and notice how good you feel.
Live by your morals. You have your own opinion about what’s right and wrong. If you can live according to your values, how can you feel bad about yourself? It’s only when we stray that we feel guilty or displeased with ourselves.

Make a list of the behaviors you’ll no longer accept from yourself.
How do you think a person should behave? What qualities are most important to you? Set standards for yourself that you refuse to violate.

Spend time each week helping others. Volunteer or help a neighbor. Do something for someone else without receiving anything in return. Your self-image will improve considerably by this one strategy alone.

There are websites that list the volunteer opportunities in every city. Find your community’s listings and make a positive difference in someone’s life. You’ll benefit as much as they do.

Experience success. You have the right to feel good about any success, so make it easy to succeed. Set small goals and accomplish them. It could be a goal to save $100 this month or make it to the gym three times this week. Show yourself that you can be successful consistently.
Spend time with those that think highly of you. A great way to increase your respect for yourself is to spend time with others who already think you’re great. Avoid those that are negative, unkind, or unsupportive.
Spend time on activities that you enjoy. Make yourself feel good on a regular basis. You can carry those good feelings with you into other parts of your life. The more time you’re able to spend feeling positive emotions, the better you’ll feel about yourself.
Let go of the need to be perfect. If being perfect is the only way you can feel good about yourself, you’re going to be unhappy most of the time. Perfection isn’t possible. Be interested in improvement and effort. These are controllable and achievable.
Treat yourself well. By treating yourself well, you’ll believe that you deserve it. Be as kind to yourself as you would a good friend. Take care of your needs. This includes eating well, getting enough sleep, having an active social life, and buying yourself the things you need.

Do you think highly of yourself? A negative self-image can have negative repercussions on every part of your life. It’s well worth the time to enhance your self-image. You’ll find it difficult to achieve more than you think you deserve. So believe that you deserve a lot and you’ll enjoy more of what you desire in life.

To your success

Michael W