Are You Too Self-Critical – 12 Signs To Look For

2016-10-202016-10-18 ~ adminlife

12 Signs That You’re Being Too Self-Critical

It’s admirable to do your best and attempt to be the best person you can be. It only makes sense to examine your negative results in life and try to do better the next time. But it’s also easy to become too self-critical. A high level of self-criticism is detrimental to success and good mental health. Excessive self-criticism hurts your self-esteem and confidence.

Consider these signs that you might be too critical of yourself:

You’re paralyzed. One sign that you’re overly critical toward yourself is a lack of action. If you’ve been stuck in the same situation for an extended period of time, you’re too hard on yourself. Otherwise, you’d be out there taking care of business and making positive changes to your life.
You’re slow to forgive others. When you can’t forgive yourself, you’re unable to forgive others. When you can let go and forgive yourself, you can do the same for the other people in your life.
You’re never pleased with your accomplishments. It doesn’t matter to you that you shaved 10 minutes off your best 10K time or graduated from medical school. You’re bothered by the fact that you didn’t win the race or attend Harvard medical school.
You’re not assertive. You have to be comfortable with yourself to feel comfortable with asserting yourself. Assertiveness also brings the risk of rejection. Being too self-critical can increase the fear of rejection from others.
You consistently say bad things to yourself. There’s little harm in a small amount of negative self-talk. But a constant barrage of self-criticism is highly damaging. Imagine telling your child that they can’t do anything right and should give up trying. It sounds crazy when viewed from that perspective.
You’re a chronic underachiever. Underachieving is both a symptom and a cause of self-criticism. Consistent underachieving is a call to action!
Others feel comfortable being critical of you. The average person isn’t comfortable criticizing others. However, after they’ve heard you criticize yourself repeatedly, they’re likely to feel they can join in on the criticism.
You criticize yourself in general terms, rather than just for specific events. There’s a difference between telling yourself that you’re not a good tennis player and telling yourself that you’re not good at anything. General criticism is false and highly damaging.

A lack of success at a particular activity doesn’t make you flawed at everything. It’s illogical.

You keep your opinions to yourself. While you have every reason to avoid telling your neighbor she looks fat in her dress, you should feel comfortable sharing the title of your favorite book. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your opinions freely, you’re too concerned about being judged by others or saying the wrong thing.
You spend too much time dwelling on your mistakes. Can you move on quickly after a short period of self-reflection or do you dwell on your mistakes for an extended period of time?
You find yourself unable to ask for help. It shouldn’t be difficult to ask for help. In fact, the more help the better! Are you afraid of being viewed as incapable? If so, you’re too critical of yourself.
You can’t give yourself a single compliment. Everyone is good at something. Or maybe you know you’re good at a few things but don’t think you deserve a compliment. Either way, you’re being too hard on yourself.

You’re sabotaging yourself by being overly self-critical. You limit both your success and your mood. Realize how much you harm yourself with self-criticism. Learn from your mistakes and apply the information with enthusiasm.

To your success

Michael W

The Words That Can Change Your Life

2016-10-192016-10-18 ~ adminlife

The Right Words Can Change Your Life

Words are very powerful things even though most people go through life without ever realizing or acknowledging that fact. Think about it, though. Words said in anger or carelessness can hurt someone and even affect that person permanently. On the flip side of that coin, certain compliments paid to someone can increase that person’s confidence in a way that will be carried a lifetime. Yes, words are very powerful, and that’s why you can use words to improve your opinion of yourself as well as your quality of life.

The words you’ll use to boost your self-confidence aren’t the words spoken to you by others. These are words that you will write and speak to yourself. They are called affirmations and can be some of the most effective means in raising the self-confidence of someone. Affirmations are easy to create and even simpler to put to use.

To begin with, target the areas of yourself and your life that you are not quite happy with or you feel needs some improving. For instance, if you are not pleased with something about your appearance, focus on something that you ARE happy with. Maybe you feel that you need to lose a bit of weight but you have a very pretty or handsome face. Focus on that beautiful smile. Then, every morning when you get up and before you go to bed every night, look at yourself in the mirror and say something along the lines of “I have a very beautiful smile and it is this smile that people will see when they look at me. My beautiful smile will draw the people I want into my life.” Of course, you’ll want to make it more personal, but you get the idea.

These affirmations are necessary in helping you to remember that there ARE some very attractive qualities about you and that those are the ones that you need to focus on bringing out to the forefront. When you are positive about something and can use that positivity, you’ll find that people will WANT to be around you because you produce such great energy. In other words, draw attention away from the fact that you may be packing a few extra pounds, for example, by showing off that great smile and your warm personality. People flock to that sort of thing.

Haven’t you ever noticed those great looking guys that are partnered with women that are less than a 5 on The Scale? Those women may not be physically beautiful but they have found a way to bring their inner beauty to the outside. You can do that as well. All you have to do is a little mind work. Write down affirmations that apply to what you are trying to accomplish. These can be recited as often as you wish or feel that you need them. The more positive energy that you put out the more that will come back to you. Soon, you’ll only be aware of that gorgeous smile and that extra weight will be a secondary concern that you can take care of when you have a chance. This can work the same way with whatever you want to change about yourself.

To your success

Michael W

Self Help Books And You

2016-10-172016-10-14 ~ adminlife

Finding Refuge in Self Help Books

People always have questions to ask, and there are questions that they want to put forward but find it hard to do so. What is true is that people find it hard to admit to having problems. It is not easy to go to a friend and say that they need help, so they choose to find other ways to get the answers to their questions.

Self Help Books

Books are written for different reasons. Some books are written to entertain and some are written to inform. There are special types of informative books that are written by experts in the field of psychology and the like, and these books attempt to liberate people from their problems. Who knew that the bound sheets of paper can bring answers to people? If you want to know how to pick your life up from the slump, you can find a book that can enlighten you on the how’s and why’s. Many of these books are not even written by experts, but are written by ordinary people, based on their real life experiences and journeys.

Choosing the Right Book

All you have to learn is how to pick the right help available. You need to know how to spot a good read from one that will only waste your time. Here are some guidelines that will help you in your search:

Know your problem. What are you having problems with? What questions do you want answers to? To get exactly what you need, you have to specifically determine what it is that you are looking for. This is true. Some people go on with their lives, trying to figure out what is wrong within their lives and yet they do not know where to look and how to find something definitive and concrete. If you want solutions, you need to know the problem first it’s that plain and simple.

Read or listen? How would you like to learn from the book? Do you want to read it in the traditional method or would you like to get the audio version of the book and just listen to it? There are even DVD versions of the book, where you can watch and listen, instead of read and it comes complete with instructional videos and activities. When you choose a book, you have to know how you would like to conquer the book, so that you can get the most out of it.

Do your research. Finally, to make sure that you purchase the right self help, you have to take some time to study your different options. You will need to study the author, first and foremost; and this includes finding out more about this author, where he has come from, and how knowledgeable he is about the topic. You will also need to find something about the book itself. Look for reviews written by experts and ordinary readers. See how well it rates in the charts. It is important for you to know about the feedback the book was able to collect, so that you can have an idea of the usefulness of the literature you have decided to put your trust on.

To your success

Michael W

Make Changes To Your Life – Reinvent Yourself

2016-10-112016-10-10 ~ adminlife

The Re-Invention of You

If you’ve ever wanted to alter some things about yourself, maybe now is the time to consider it. We see it in the entertainment industry all the time: an entertainer used to look a certain way and behave a certain way in public or while performing. Then, one day, you see them on TV and wow, what a difference!

The entertainer’s hair is changed, her style of clothing isn’t even similar to what she used to wear, and she may even relate to people in a completely novel manner. She has completely re-invented herself!

You, too, can make such changes and step out in a whole new you!

Follow these steps to bring out your transformation:

What’s on your fantasy list of changes you want to make? Let your thoughts and ideas flow and jot them down. What would you change about yourself if you had the power?

Focus on the top 3 things you wish to change. For the best success, direct your energy to no more than a few things at a time. Circle the top 3 things you want to work on.

To illustrate, maybe you want to change your hair color and style, reduce your weight by 15 pounds, and wear a more classic style of clothing.
Perhaps you want to work out to build muscle, discover a new relationship, and develop a deeper interest in your career.

Ponder the reasons you wish to make these changes. Delve deep within yourself to consider why making these changes are important to you. Were you bullied in high school and don’t feel very positive about yourself? Do you believe you can move closer toward the type of life you want if you make the desired changes?

Perhaps you think you’ll be happier or more successful when you take steps to become the person you want to be. Giving some thought to the reasons you want to change these aspects of yourself will help you recognize where you want to be heading in life.

Design a brief plan for each area you want to alter. Using some of the examples in #2, getting a different hair color and cut is as simple as setting an appointment and going to the hairdresser. Losing the weight will take a bit more thought and effort. What will you do to get started on your plan now?

You might cut out sodas and fattening desserts and have breakfasts of yogurt and fruit or 1 scrambled egg with 1 toast.
Doing a wardrobe overhaul costs money. Plan to obtain clothing you want little by little. Consult fashion websites to learn about styles and basic wardrobe pieces.

Take “before” pictures. Photos will motivate you to continue your efforts.
Explore how you feel about beginning to work toward the changes. Do you feel positive, confident, and pleased that you’re finally going to “do something?” You might be experiencing doubt or hesitancy to get started. What makes you feel that way? This step is integral to your capacity to continue your path of self-re-invention.

Connect with your feelings to be successful in creating a new you. If you have serious doubts or even fears about taking steps toward what you want to be in life, consider consulting a life coach or counselor to help you move forward in your quest.

Put your plans into action. If all systems are “go,” move forward without delay.
Notice the subtle changes that you achieve along the way. Develop ways to reinforce your efforts to successfully alter the aspects you wish to change. Take a few pictures of yourself as you notice changes and display them where you can view them for motivation. After all, you’re doing what you set out to do—re-inventing yourself!

Creating a new and improved you can be a very exciting time in your life. Embrace this phase of life with all you’ve got. After all, you’re worth it.

To your success

Michael W

Tips For Taking Action In Your Life

2016-10-08 ~ adminlife

Taking Action In And For Your Life

Success results from achievement which is what happens when you get things done. Instead of allowing procrastination to hinder your progress follow the 10 tips below and discover how you can become a successful action taker.

Set a Goal:
Decide what you want to achieve. Once you know your goal you can devise a plan showing the step by step process on how to achieve it. Knowing the outcome and the process will allow you to identify where to start and enable you to take action.
Clear Your Mind:
It may sound counter inter-intuitive but take time at the beginning of your day to mind dump your thoughts onto paper. Take a piece of paper and a pen and spend 10 minutes writing down everything that comes into your mind (your stream of consciousness). This will clear your mind leaving only the important tasks.
Make a List:
Many successful people make a list of things they need to do the evening before. This ensures that they go to bed knowing that they have action points for the following day and the next day starts positively with a road map of what needs to be accomplished.
Small Steps:
It’s easier to take action when you set yourself small steps (or tasks) on the way to completing a bigger goal. This is because you will not feel as overwhelmed and as you complete each smaller task you will feel a sense of accomplishment and success.
Be Accountable:
Announce your goal to a friend, partner or colleague. This accountability is a great driver to taking action because you will feel a greater sense of commitment towards the goal and its completion. You will also be able to discuss your progress and this can help you discuss any potential issues that may hamper your progress and brainstorm ways to overcome them.
Remove Distractions:
Turn off your phone, shut down your email and social media sites and get yourself into a situation where you can be undisturbed. Lessening the chances of being interrupted will ensure you have a greater chance of getting in the flow of work and this will help you be more productive.
Change Your Mindset:
Be positive and tell yourself that you can and will complete the task. Envision yourself as a successful action taker. You could create a mind movie of yourself taking action. Make it involve all of your senses so that you can really feel, hear and see yourself working towards your goal, achieving it and then experiencing the positive results of having done so. This Neuro Linguistic Programming technique is very powerful and will program your mind for success.
Stop Waiting For The Perfect Time:
It’s easy to wait for the perfect time or situation but the chances are it will never happen. Simply get started and you’ll find that momentum will build and you will make progress.
Be Consistent:
By taking consistent action every day you will make good headway towards achieving your goals. You will also ensure that your action taking becomes a habit.
Remove Analysis Paralysis:
Stop over-thinking as it will get you nowhere and actually stop you taking action as you will find yourself second guessing and over-worrying. If you know what you need to do, what you are trying to achieve and have the resources needed available then your best course of action is to get started.

Don’t wait use the tips in this article to move your life forward.

To your success

Michael W