Are you Focused on Making Progress or Maintaining the Status Quo?

2020-11-282020-11-29 ~ adminlife

Many people erroneously believe they’re making progress because they’re working hard. A good way to predict the direction of your life is to measure how much of your time you’re actually trying to enhance it. Then consider how much of your time is spent just maintaining the status quo.

Most people believe they want something better and are working hard to accomplish it. In most cases, they’re expending a lot of mental energy wishing, fantasizing, and worrying. None of these are reliable ways to enhance your life. What have you done this week that will take your life to the next level? If you’re like most people, you haven’t done much.

Change is challenging, because there’s uncertainty. Familiarity is comforting, even if you’re unhappy. Most people naturally gravitate toward the familiar even if they’re miserable. If you can become comfortable with the prospect of change, progress is easy.

Be brave enough to create the change you desire:

Working hard isn’t enough. If you’re working hard on the wrong things, you’ll never see any progress. Effort matters, but only if you’re spending your time wisely. If you want to see real change, it’s necessary to spend time doing constructive things above and beyond what is required to live your current life.
Have you learned anything new lately? Learning new information can help to create change, if you use the information. What are you doing instead of learning? Watching the same TV shows? You’re maintaining the status quo. New information leads to new understandings.
Are you spending time with anyone new? Hanging out with the same people each day is another good way to ensure that nothing changes. New people can change your perspective and introduce you to new ideas.
Are you doing anything new? The same gym workout repeated over and over again will ensure that you neither gain nor lose ground. The same behaviours deliver the same, reliable results.

- Going into the same job and providing the same efforts ensures the same paycheck.
- Thinking the same thoughts results in the same actions.
- Same hobbies? No changes coming.

What did you do today? At the end of each day, ask yourself two questions:

- If I lived this same day over and over for the next 20 years, what would my finances, health, social life, and relationships look like?
- Did I do anything today to take my life to the next level, or did I ensure that nothing will change in the future?
- Write your responses in a journal. You’ll tire of not having anything interesting to write. You’ll spend more time trying to make a difference in your life. The answer to these two questions can predict the future better than you think.

Do you have goals? Do you measure your progress? Goals are nothing more than desired changes. If you have goals and you’re making progress, you can expect to see progress in your life.

- You’re choosing to maintain the status quo if you don’t have concrete goals. Any changes you experience will be due to random chance.

Most people claim they want a better life, but few are doing anything to make it happen. It’s easier to wish than to face uncertainty.

If you’re working hard but failing to gain any ground, spend some time each day doing something that will give you the chance to accomplish something new in the future. The more time you spend this way, the more progress you’ll make toward the life you desire.

To really make changes to your life that last, you should engage with a Life Coach who can guide you through the process and also keep you motivated to move forward. To set up a 30-minute Primary Life Goals Discovery Session, where you will complete a discovery form with me, and receive it after the session, visit “Identify Your Primary Life Goal Discovery Session” to learn more and how to book a time with me. I am only taking 5 people every week for the sessions, so read the post and join now.

You are success

Michael

P.S. If you want to learn even more about being successful, making changes that last and developing confidence in yourself, you can join the Facebook Group Developing Confidence in Yourself or You Are success Life Coach

Michael G. Wilkovesky

Feature Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Which Obstacle to Change is Holding You Back?

2020-11-19 ~ adminlife

Change occurs naturally, but it can be difficult to keep it flowing in the direction you want. According to some estimates, 80% of New Year resolutions fail. When it comes to losing weight, more than 95% of dieters regain the weight they lost within three years.

Even if you sincerely want to make positive changes in your life, success may elude you. Maybe you’re sabotaging yourself without realizing it. Maybe you’re skipping essential steps that would make your efforts pay off.

Find out what is holding you back from living the life you want. Take a look at three common obstacles to personal change and learn how to overcome them.

Living With Uncertainty

Clinging to what’s familiar can give you a sense of security. However, staying in your comfort zone may mean missing out on a more meaningful life.

Let go of judgments. Stop rushing to categorize people or events. Slow down and open up your mind to other viewpoints.
Clarify your vision. When you know what you’re trying to accomplish, it’s easier to make specific pans. Reflect on your goals and write them down.
Focus on gains. When you’re taking on a challenge, imagine the rewards as well as the possible pitfalls. Motivate yourself by thinking positive. Even if the outcomes aren’t what you had in mind, you can learn from the experience.
Start small. Begin with modest changes. Each victory will boost your confidence and abilities.

Gathering Resources

There are many simple and free things you can do to take care of yourself. On the other hand, you may have some goals that will require time, money, and other resources. Learn how to build your capacity.

Set priorities. Trying to change too many things at once can be overwhelming. Pick one or two top concerns and focus your efforts there.
Get organized. You can accomplish more when you have a system. Clear away mental and physical clutter. Invent routines that will save you time and money.
Revise your budget. Look for ways to cut spending and increase your income. Bring your lunch to work instead of eating at sandwich shops. Turn your hobby into a side income.
Seek information. Maybe you need additional knowledge and skills to make the changes you have in mind. Sign up for training at work or take a course online.
Ask for support. Having a strong network makes you more resilient. Ask your family and friends for the assistance you need.

Transforming Habits

Habits are powerful. Unless you examine your actions, you may wind up reacting to situations automatically instead of choosing the options that will make you happier and more productive.

Identify triggers. Maybe you’re trying to quit smoking, but you reach for a cigarette as soon as you pour your morning coffee. Figure out the triggers that distract you from your positive intentions.
Develop substitutions. Once you know the situations where you’re likely to lapse, you can craft alternative responses. Keep your hands busy with needlework or a video game instead of smoking a cigarette.
Practice mindfulness. Research shows that it often takes a couple of months for new habits to solidify. Plus, being consistent during the first few days of starting a new practice will increase your chances of success. Remind yourself that being patient and vigilant now will benefit you.

It’s important to embrace change if you want to grow. Once you understand what’s holding you back, you can come up with strategies that will help you reach your personal and professional goals.

Sometimes making daily affirmations can really help you to accomplish what you are going after. In order to help you to make changes, you can download an Affirmation PDF: “I Have the Power to Change” here.

If you want to learn even more about being successful, making changes that last and developing confidence in yourself, you can join the Facebook Group Developing Confidence in Yourself or You Are success Life Coach

To your success

Michael

Michael G. Wilkovesky

Feature Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

12 Signs That You’re Being Too Self-Critical

2020-11-172020-11-18 ~ adminlife

It’s admirable to do your best and attempt to be the best person you can be. It only makes sense to examine your negative results in life and try to do better the next time. But it’s also easy to become too self-critical. A high level of self-criticism is detrimental to success and good mental health. Excessive self-criticism hurts your self-esteem and confidence.

Consider these signs that you might be too critical of yourself:

You’re paralyzed. One sign that you’re overly critical toward yourself is a lack of action. If you’ve been stuck in the same situation for an extended period of time, you’re too hard on yourself. Otherwise, you’d be out there taking care of business and making positive changes to your life.
You’re slow to forgive others. When you can’t forgive yourself, you’re unable to forgive others. When you can let go and forgive yourself, you can do the same for the other people in your life.
You’re never pleased with your accomplishments. It doesn’t matter to you that you shaved 10 minutes off your best 10K time or graduated from medical school. You’re bothered by the fact that you didn’t win the race or attend Harvard medical school.
You’re not assertive. You have to be comfortable with yourself to feel comfortable with asserting yourself. Assertiveness also brings the risk of rejection. Being too self-critical can increase the fear of rejection from others.
You consistently say bad things to yourself. There’s little harm in a small amount of negative self-talk. But a constant barrage of self-criticism is highly damaging. Imagine telling your child that they can’t do anything right and should give up trying. It sounds crazy when viewed from that perspective.
You’re a chronic underachiever. Underachieving is both a symptom and a cause of self-criticism. Consistent underachieving is a call to action!
Others feel comfortable being critical of you. The average person isn’t comfortable criticizing others. However, after they’ve heard you criticize yourself repeatedly, they’re likely to feel they can join in on the criticism.
You criticize yourself in general terms, rather than just for specific events. There’s a difference between telling yourself that you’re not a good tennis player and telling yourself that you’re not good at anything. General criticism is false and highly damaging.

- A lack of success at a particular activity doesn’t make you flawed at everything. It’s illogical.

You keep your opinions to yourself. While you have every reason to avoid telling your neighbor she looks fat in her dress, you should feel comfortable sharing the title of your favorite book. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your opinions freely, you’re too concerned about being judged by others or saying the wrong thing.
You spend too much time dwelling on your mistakes. Can you move on quickly after a short period of self-reflection or do you dwell on your mistakes for an extended period of time?
You find yourself unable to ask for help. It shouldn’t be difficult to ask for help. In fact, the more help the better! Are you afraid of being viewed as incapable? If so, you’re too critical of yourself.
You can’t give yourself a single compliment. Everyone is good at something. Or maybe you know you’re good at a few things but don’t think you deserve a compliment. Either way, you’re being too hard on yourself.

You’re sabotaging yourself by being overly self-critical. You limit both your success and your mood. Realize how much you harm yourself with self-criticism. Learn from your mistakes and apply the information with enthusiasm.

You can download an Eliminating Self-Criticism Checklist that is a handy sheet to have available to go over the criticisms you have and develop new self-talk to counter any criticisms you have.

You can get the Eliminating Self-Criticism Checklist here.

If you want to learn even more about being successful and developing confidence in yourself, you can join the Facebook Group Developing Confidence in Yourself or You Are success Life Coach

To your success

Michael

Michael G. Wilkovesky

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

How to Change Any Belief

2020-11-142020-11-17 ~ adminlife

Our beliefs have a profound impact on our behavior. The behaviors that we display over an extended period determine the quality of our lives.

For example, if you believe that you can only hold a manual-labor job, you would never attempt anything else. So truly changing your life is dependent on changing your beliefs.

If you have limiting beliefs, this process can help you change them to beliefs that better serve you.

Write down your answers to these questions:

Which belief do you want to change? You need to be able to see it to work with it effectively. So write it down. For example, one limiting belief you might have is: “I will never have a lot of money.”
What has the belief cost you? Make a list of all the ways this belief has negatively impacted your life. Really think about it, because it helps to have as much negative ammunition to get rid of that old belief as you can get. Spend some time; it might even take a couple of days to get a complete list.
What advantages has the belief provided you? Maybe believing that you could never be wealthy has allowed you to avoid taking risks. Or perhaps it has allowed you to work at a profession that’s easy for you. It might be hard to figure out what the advantages are, but they are there.
What new belief would you like to have as a replacement? For example, for the belief listed above, a new replacement might be: “I can make any amount of money I set my mind to.” Be thoughtful and develop a new belief that will serve you well in the future.
How is the new belief better than the old belief? Come up with an emotionally charged list of ways in which the new belief will impact your life for the better. Consider how you would feel. What could you become? How would your lifestyle change? Would it help other people around you?
How can you start demonstrating the new belief today? Following our wealth-theme, it might not be the right time to plan the interior of your private jet just yet. What could you do right now? Make a plan to make more money? Start looking for a better paying job? Look for ways to invest the money you already have? Even a small change can help the process.

Start Living Your New Belief

It might not be easy at first, but taking the time to complete the steps above will make it easier. Each day try to behave as if you hold the new belief. What would you wear? How would you speak? How would you view the world? How would you make decisions? How would you react to good news? Bad news?

While our behaviors determine the quality of our lives, our beliefs largely determine our behaviors. Beliefs are really the core to everything you do and become.

Beliefs can be challenging to change, as they’re frequently developed at a young age, so you might have lived in accordance with your limiting beliefs for a long time. However, with diligence and attention, they can be altered. Changing your beliefs will change your life.

If you want to learn more about identifying and removing your limiting beliefs, you can request the “Are Limiting Beliefs Holding You back ebook”. This ebook contains valuable information to help you with overcoming your limiting beliefs and move forward in your life to start to live the best life you can.

Request your copy of “Are Limiting Beliefs Holding You Back ebook” here.

To your success

Michael

P.S. if you want to continue to read and learn more about not only limiting beliefs but other areas of life success and confidence and motivation building. You are invited to join the “Develop Confidence in Yourself” group on Facebook.

Michael G. Wilkovesky

Feature Image by Junah Rosales from Pixabay

How to Easily Expand Your Comfort Zone

2020-11-12 ~ adminlife

What if I told you I’d give you $1,000 to make an important public speech? Would you take the offer? Like most of us, you probably recoiled immediately at the idea, even though it could be lucrative for you! Why didn’t this idea appeal to you?

When the very thought of certain activities evokes fear or anxiety within you, it’s because they’re outside your comfort zone. Public speaking, for example, is outside most people’s comfort zone.

Your comfort zone is the sphere of activities that you feel comfortable with and that you can accomplish without negative emotions. It also includes people, places, and things that cause only positive thoughts within you.

How Important is Your Comfort Zone?

Your comfort zone can limit your capabilities and cause you to forsake your dreams and goals, or it can spur you on to great things. In fact, your comfort zone can determine both your personality and your potential for success.

Many successful people achieve their goals because they have the ability to expand their comfort zone in order to get what they want.

If you wish to expand your comfort zone, you can mentally condition yourself to be comfortable in new situations so you can overcome your anxiety, achieve your goals, and fulfill your dreams.

Here are some tips you can use to expand your comfort zone and help fight your anxiety about certain situations:

Understand your mindset. Mental conditioning plays a large role in developing your comfort zone. This means that how we form our comfort zones begins in our own mind.

Each of us already has preconceived notions of what may be comfortable and what may not be, and we designate mental guidelines to keep us within our comfort zone.

You have chosen your own comfort zone boundaries! Knowing your boundaries is the first step to being able to expand them.

Disobey some of your self-imposed rules. If you want to expand your comfort zone, you must let yourself loose from the guidelines you impose on yourself. Breaking some of these rules will allow you to seek new experiences that can bring you greater success!
Consider the true risk of a situation. It’s important to know what the true risks are, as opposed to what you feel (or fear) may occur. Knowing the difference can enable you to overcome your limitations.
Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort level. Many times, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to boundaries and limitations. There are times when you’ll have to push yourself to get where you want to be. In these instances, you must meet the challenge to leave your comfort zone.

When stepping outside your comfort zone brings you success, you’ll find that the benefits are well worth the effort!

Whenever you try something for the first time, you’re bound to be a little uncomfortable. We’re all conditioned to fight change and stay in our comfort zones. You may have to remind yourself that only you can push yourself to step outside the box.

Be patient, be aware of your self-imposed limitations, and try things in small steps at a time. This way your comfort zone will expand at a gradual, comfortable pace, and your fears and anxieties will subside as you gain positive experiences.

Keep your dreams in sight! Expanding your comfort zone may be all it takes to achieve your goals and live the life you dream of.

One of the first things you must do is know what your goals are and what they will mean to you once you achieve them. You can start doing this by requesting the PDF “Moving Out of My Comfort Zone Goals”. This downloaded and fillable PDF contains questions that can help you set S.M.A.R.T. Goals that move you out of your comfort zone and get you on the path to a better life.

You can download two PDFs, one that you can print and fill-in and a second that can be filed-in on-line. To request the 2 PDFs just fill in you name and email address below.

If you want even more help in setting goals and moving towards your best life ever, you can contact me at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com and we can set up a 30-minute strategy call to discuss your situation and how we can work together to move you into a new phase of your life.

Remember that nothing happens until you take action. So fill in the information above or call me and take that first step towards a better, more fulfilling life.

To your success

Michael W

P.S. The cost of doing nothing is more of the same in your life with frustration and a feeling of not knowing if your life could be better. You can start the process of change by requesting the PDFs or contacting me now.

P.P.S. If you think that your fears are holding you back, then this book may help:

“Overcome Your Fear and Become More Successful”

People who succeed in life are people who take risks. Many rich people often lose large fortunes on the chances that they take, but they keep going because the next risk may pay off. If you continually listen to your amygdala or “lizard brain” you cannot be successful because you will also give in to your fear.

Instinct tells us to run and flee from risk. We are programmed to fight change and run away from challenges.

These reactions are so deep in our programming that they are not going to change overnight, but they can be changed. It also won’t be easy but it can be done.

You reprogram the amygdala a little bit every time you conquer your fear. You don’t want it to go away completely, we still need it for those times when we really are in danger. But we need to listen to it only when needed, when we face real danger.

Feature photo usage: CC BY-NC-ND 4.0