Confidence is more than just a nice-to-have trait. It’s a life-defining force. You can hold multiple degrees, have impressive experience and possess incredible talent — but without confidence, you’re likely to remain stuck. Confidence is the bridge between potential and performance. It turns thoughts into action, plans into results and setbacks into stepping stones.

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Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

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This article explores the essential role confidence plays in achieving personal and professional success. It breaks down how confidence works, what causes it to falter and how to develop and strengthen it — even if you’re starting from scratch.

Why Confidence Matters More Than You Think

Confidence isn’t arrogance. It’s the quiet, steady belief that you can handle what life throws at you. It gives you the courage to try new things, the resilience to keep going, and the presence to lead and influence.

Without it, even the smartest person can fall short. Confidence:

• Fuels action
• Strengthens decision-making
• Encourages growth
• Helps you take risks
• Keeps you going after failure

It also shapes how others perceive you. When you walk into a room with confidence, people listen. When you speak with belief, people trust you. That presence comes from the inside out.

Confidence Turns Obstacles Into Opportunity

The unknown scares most people. But confidence is what lets you lean into uncertainty instead of running from it. When others hesitate, confident people step forward. They don’t need all the answers. They just need enough self-trust to get started.

Confidence is the tool that helps you:

• Leave behind comfort zones
• Start new careers
• Launch big ideas
• End toxic patterns
• Try again after failure

It doesn’t guarantee success — but it makes success possible.

The Hidden Signs You Lack Confidence

Lack of confidence doesn’t always look like insecurity. Sometimes it shows up in disguise:

• Chronic procrastination
• Fear of making decisions
• Perfectionism
• People-pleasing
• Feeling “stuck” but doing nothing to change it

When you avoid action, overthink small issues or wait endlessly to “feel ready,” those are red flags. The solution isn’t just learning more or doing more. It’s rebuilding trust in yourself.

Confidence Builds Better Decisions

People with low confidence often struggle with decisions — both big and small. They overanalyze, delay and ask for constant reassurance. That indecision creates stress and reinforces the false belief: “I’m not good at this.”

But confidence streamlines decision-making. It helps you:

• Trust your judgment
• Weigh options without overthinking
• Accept that mistakes are part of progress
• Make a call and move forward

Confident people know they won’t get everything right — and they’re okay with that. They know they can recover, learn and improve. That’s the real power.

Fake It Until You Fuel It

Acting confident even when you don’t feel it isn’t being fake — it’s practising courage. Behaviour can shape emotion. When you act as if you believe in yourself, your brain starts catching up.

Try this:

• Speak clearly and with purpose.
• Stand tall. Breathe deeply.
• Take small risks daily.
• Say “yes” to something that scares you (but you know you can handle).

Eventually, these actions create new emotional patterns. Confidence becomes a reflex — not a performance.

Make Confidence a Daily Habit

Confidence isn’t a one-time breakthrough — it’s a habit. You build it through repetition and effort. Start by setting small goals and hitting them. The momentum builds.

Here’s how to turn confidence into a lifestyle:

1. Commit to action. Stop waiting to feel ready.
2. Take consistent risks. Don’t settle into safety.
3. Track your wins. Remind yourself how far you’ve come.
4. Get comfortable with discomfort. That’s where growth lives.
5. Talk to yourself like a coach, not a critic.

You don’t have to be fearless — you just need to keep moving forward even when the fear is there.

Confidence Grows Through Failure

Confident people fail too — but they don’t let it define them. In fact, they use failure as fuel.

When you fail:

• Don’t spiral into shame.
• Look for the lesson.
• Adjust your approach.
• Try again.

Every time you bounce back from a setback, your confidence strengthens. It’s like a muscle: the more you test it, the more it grows.

Confidence Helps You Commit

Commitment is hard without belief. You can’t give your full effort to a goal if you’re already doubting your ability to achieve it.

Confidence is what allows you to say:

• “I’m all in.”
• “I’ll figure it out.”
• “I’m not quitting.”

With confidence, you’re more likely to stick with the process long enough to see real results. You don’t just start things — you finish them.

Confidence Makes Life Bigger

At its core, confidence makes life feel expansive. It gives you access to experiences, relationships and success you might never reach otherwise. It pushes you past the surface level and into real growth.

Without confidence, you might play it safe forever. You might settle for less. You might talk yourself out of opportunities before they begin.

But with confidence:

• You take more action
• You stand taller in your truth
• You pursue what you actually want
• You live with fewer regrets

That’s the kind of life confidence unlocks — and it’s available to anyone willing to work for it.

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To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

 

 

 

 

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com

 

 

 

Photo by Mihai Grigore on Unsplash

 

Understanding Failure: How to Learn, Adapt and Win

Everyone has failed. Whether it’s a business venture, fitness goal, relationship or personal challenge — you’ve felt the sting. And while failure is universal, it’s not random. Most failures share common roots. The problem? We rarely take the time to find them, let alone fix them.

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Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

---

This article strips failure down to its core causes and gives you a direct, no-nonsense path to turn them into fuel for confidence and growth. If you’re tired of stalling, second-guessing or quitting too early — read on. It’s time to stop failing the same way twice.

1. You’re Not Learning From the Past

Failure on its own teaches nothing. What matters is what you do after. Every experience — good or bad — is feedback. If you’re not asking, What worked? What didn’t? What can I change? — you’re not evolving. You’re just repeating mistakes on autopilot.

Fix it: Start a simple end-of-day routine. Spend five minutes reviewing what went well, what went sideways and what you’ll try differently tomorrow. Confidence grows when you start seeing patterns — and correcting them.

2. You Don’t Know Enough to Win

Knowledge matters. Whether you’re learning how to build a website, write a book, lose 20 pounds or fix a relationship — information shapes your outcomes. But be warned: there’s a line between learning and hiding behind learning.

Fix it: Learn enough to take action. Then take action. Course-correct as you go. Stop waiting until you “know everything.” You won’t. You can’t. Action is the fastest teacher.

3. You’re Not All In

Half-effort = half-results (if that). Many people dip a toe in the water, tell themselves they tried, and walk away when things don’t click. But results demand real buy-in. You can’t casually flirt with your goals and expect full commitment back.

Fix it: Make a clear choice. Decide you’re in. Then act like it. Make your schedule reflect it. Make your habits reflect it. When you commit fully, you stop negotiating with your excuses.

4. You’re Letting Distractions Win

The world is built to distract you. Streaming, scrolling, gaming, clicking — it’s all designed to hijack your time and energy. But if your biggest thrill of the day is a viral video or a trending meme, your goals will never get the attention they need.

Fix it: Audit your distractions. Block out deep work time. Kill notifications. Make your goals more exciting than the junk you consume. Confidence builds when you know you’re running your day — not the other way around.

5. You’re Afraid to Fail — So You Don’t Try

Fear of failure is the ultimate dream-killer. You worry you’ll look stupid. Waste time. Prove the haters right. But guess what? Failure is the price of progress.

Failure gives feedback. Feedback gives direction. Direction builds momentum. And momentum builds confidence.

Fix it: Redefine failure. It’s not proof that you’re not good enough. It’s proof that you’re doing something bold. Fail smart, fail fast, fail forward.

6. You Don’t Believe You Can Succeed

Self-doubt is sneaky. It convinces you not to bother trying, because “people like me don’t win.” But here’s the truth: we’re terrible at predicting what we’re capable of — especially over the long run.

Fix it: Believe in progress, not perfection. You don’t have to be the best. You just have to be better than yesterday. Build belief through action. Each small win becomes a brick in the foundation of confidence.

7. You Quit Too Early

Most people don’t fail. They just stop. They lose patience. They expect too much, too fast. They hit a rough patch and assume they’ve hit a wall.

But success isn’t an event — it’s a process. And that process requires persistence. That’s not sexy advice, but it’s real.

Fix it: Expect setbacks. Plan for them. Know in advance that the path will get bumpy. Then decide: no matter how long it takes, you’ll keep showing up.

8. You’re Hiding From the Spotlight

Believe it or not, some people fail because they fear success. Why? Because success draws attention. It challenges your identity. It changes relationships. And for many, that feels threatening.

Fix it: Get comfortable being seen. Let people watch you grow. Let them cheer, let them hate, let them gossip. It has nothing to do with your worth. You don’t owe anyone smallness.

Failure Isn’t Fatal — But Repeating It Is

Failure is a mirror. It shows you where you’re lacking — not to shame you, but to teach you. But if you don’t look in that mirror and adjust — you’re choosing to stay stuck.

To grow in confidence and success:

• Track your patterns.
• Actively learn.
• Commit completely.
• Eliminate distractions.
• Welcome failure.
• Back yourself, even when you’re unsure.
• Stay the course.
• Let yourself be seen.

Most people fail for the same reasons over and over. But you don’t have to.

Know your reasons. Own your choices. And start failing better.

Because when you fail smarter — you win more often.

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To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

 

 

 

 

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com

 

 

 

Photo by Igor Omilaev on Unsplash

 

When you’re serious about achieving big goals — whether launching a business, writing a book, transforming your health or building financial freedom — you’ll quickly realize something: you can’t do it all. Success requires focus, clarity and sacrifice.

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Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

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Big goals don’t just demand more action. They demand that you cut out distractions, habits and mindsets that waste your energy and derail your momentum. Mediocre results often come from clinging to the wrong things — time-sinks, approval-seeking, comfort zones or mindless distractions.

Here’s a breakdown of 15 things you simply don’t have time for if you’re committed to meaningful progress.

1. Worrying About What You Can’t Control

Worrying about the economy, the weather or someone else’s opinion won’t move your goals forward. It just burns mental energy and keeps you stuck in inaction. If you can’t control it, let it go. Focus on what’s in your hands — your effort, your attitude, your next move.

2. Obsessing Over Others’ Opinions

People aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are. If you’re constantly worried about being judged, you’ll never take bold action. When you pursue big goals, you have to tune out the noise. You don’t need approval — you need results.

3. Wasting Time in General

Track your day. How much of it went to things that actually matter? Most people lose hours to low-priority tasks. Big goals demand strategic use of time. If it doesn’t move you forward, it’s probably a waste.

4. Mindless Internet Surfing

That quick scroll turns into 45 minutes. You don’t even remember what you were looking for. Online rabbit holes are productivity killers. Be intentional about your screen time — set limits, use blockers or schedule “scroll time” so it doesn’t hijack your day.

5. Watching TV

TV is passive entertainment. It gives you nothing back. Highly driven people either eliminate it completely or limit it to specific, intentional time slots. Swap TV time for a power habit: reading, planning, exercising or building your skills.

6. Smartphone Addiction

Phones are tools, not companions. Constant notifications, group chats and social media can fracture your focus and steal hours. Turn off non-essential alerts. Leave your phone in another room. Most things can wait.

7. Getting Caught Up in the World’s Noise

You don’t need to win arguments online. You don’t need to be up to date on every controversy. Most of it won’t affect your life or your goals. Put your energy where it matters: your personal growth, your work, your relationships.

8. Choosing What’s Easy Over What’s Effective

Comfort won’t get you there. Doing what’s easy feels good now but leads to frustration later. Choose what works, not what’s convenient. Whether it’s making tough calls or practising daily discipline, effectiveness wins over ease.

9. Fear of Failure

Failure is part of the process. Expect it. Plan for it. Embrace it. What matters is what you do after the failure — learn, adjust, keep going. Avoiding failure usually means avoiding progress.

10. Advice from People You Wouldn’t Trade Places With

Don’t take financial advice from someone in debt. Don’t take life advice from someone unhappy. If you wouldn’t trade places with them, why trust their opinion? Be selective. Surround yourself with people who are ahead of you and learning with you.

11. Trying to Please Everyone

You can be the kindest, smartest, most well-intentioned person — and someone will still have a problem with you. That’s life. Stop shaping your actions to keep everyone happy. Instead, do what aligns with your values and your goals.

12. Procrastination

Waiting doesn’t make tasks easier. It just increases pressure. Procrastination usually signals fear — of failure, of discomfort or of the unknown. Address the root cause and start before you feel ready. Momentum builds clarity.

13. Letting Emotions Override Logic

Making decisions based on frustration, fear or guilt often leads to regret. Big goals require rational thinking. Use your data. Use your plan. Pause when emotions spike. Make decisions from a place of clarity, not chaos.

14. Repeating the Same Mistakes

Mistakes are fine — repeating them isn’t. If you keep doing what doesn’t work, you’re wasting time. Reflect after every failure. What didn’t work? Why? What’s a smarter way forward? Learn, pivot and move.

15. Prioritizing Pleasure Over Progress

Chasing comfort and entertainment might feel good now, but it rarely leads anywhere worth going. A Netflix binge or sugar high can’t replace the satisfaction of real growth. When you focus on progress over instant pleasure, you build something that lasts.

What High Achievers Do Differently

It’s not just that successful people work harder. They work smarter. They protect their time. They design their lives around what matters. And most importantly, they cut ruthlessly — not just habits, but mindsets that don’t serve them.

That might mean:

• Saying “no” without guilt
• Being okay with disappointing some people
• Choosing discipline when comfort calls
• Thinking long-term instead of short-term dopamine hits

If you want to do something extraordinary, you can’t live like everyone else. You have to design your environment, schedule and mindset for your vision.

You Can’t Keep It All

Big goals require trade-offs. You can’t cling to every convenience, distraction or limiting belief and still expect massive growth. It’s not just about what you do — it’s also about what you stop doing.

The more you strip away what doesn’t matter, the more power you have to focus on what does.

Every yes to something small is a no to something bigger. Choose wisely.

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To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

 

 

 

 

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.S. You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

P.P.P.P.S. If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

P.P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com

 

 

Photo by Ashwini Chaudhary(Monty) on Unsplash

 

If your mind feels like it’s stuck on a loop — replaying conversations, worrying about the future, dissecting decisions — you’re not alone. Overthinking is one of the most common habits that drain confidence, cloud judgment and keep people stuck in stress and indecision.

Thinking deeply isn’t the problem. But when thinking turns obsessive, repetitive and unproductive, it becomes a trap. You get caught in mental quicksand, stuck in “what ifs,” and overwhelmed by analysis. It robs you of peace, clarity and momentum.

---

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

---

Fortunately, you can retrain your brain to stop overthinking in its tracks. It won’t happen overnight, but with conscious effort and the right strategies, you can break the cycle.

Here’s how to do it — step-by-step.

1. Recognize the Pattern and Pinpoint Your Triggers

Awareness is your first line of defence. Most people don’t even realize when they’ve slipped into overthinking. By the time you notice it, you’ve already lost an hour of your day — or a night of sleep.

Start by watching for the signs:

• You replay a conversation or decision again and again.
• You feel mentally exhausted without taking action.
• You jump from one scenario to another, trying to control an outcome.

What to do:

• Name it: “This is overthinking.”
• Identify what triggered it — was it a decision, a worry, a social interaction?
• Track patterns: Does overthinking show up in work, relationships, health decisions or when you feel uncertain?

Knowing your triggers gives you the power to interrupt the cycle before it spirals.

2. Write It All Down — Clear It Out of Your Head

Your mind isn’t a storage unit. When you’re stuck in overthinking, it helps to get your thoughts out. Writing is one of the most effective tools for this.

Journaling forces you to slow down and organize the mental noise. You start to see what’s real and what’s just emotional static.

Try this approach:

• Write out exactly what you’re thinking. Don’t edit — dump it all.
• Identify facts vs. assumptions.
• Look for repetition: What thought keeps showing up?

You might start to notice patterns like catastrophizing, self-doubt or a need for control. Once you spot the loop, it loses power.

Bonus tip: Create a “worry window” — set aside 15 minutes a day to write down any fears or overthinking. When the habit shows up later, tell yourself: “I’ll think about this during my worry time.”

3. Calm Your Nervous System Before You Problem-Solve

When you’re anxious or overstimulated, your brain isn’t wired for good decision-making. You might think you’re solving problems by thinking more, but you’re actually spinning.

Before you respond to your thoughts — pause and calm down.

Ways to reset:

• Breathe deeply. Try box breathing: inhale 4 counts, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4.
• Move your body. A short walk can shift your entire mental state.
• Engage your senses. Use grounding techniques like holding something cold, listening to calming music or lighting a scented candle.
• Take a break. Step away from the triggering situation for 10–20 minutes.

The goal is to return your body to a state where you can think clearly — then decide what needs action and what doesn’t.

4. Get a Second Perspective — Talk It Out

Overthinking loves isolation. It thrives in silence and secrecy. One of the most powerful ways to shut it down is by talking to someone you trust.

Even just saying your thoughts out loud can reduce their emotional grip. Often, you’ll hear yourself and think, “Wait, that doesn’t even make sense.”

Tips for a productive conversation:

• Choose someone who listens well and doesn’t jump to solutions.
• Be honest. Say: “I don’t need advice. I just need to say this out loud.”
• Ask questions like: “Am I missing something?” or “Does this sound like overthinking to you?”

If you need deeper guidance, consider talking to a coach or therapist. Having someone mirror your thoughts back with objectivity can be a game-changer.

5. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

Overthinking is almost always about the past (regret) or the future (fear). Rarely are you obsessing over what’s happening right now.

The cure? Get present.

How to return to now:

• Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.
• Focus on your breath. Count each inhale and exhale for one minute.
• Do one mindful task — wash dishes, fold laundry or drink tea — without multitasking.

You’re not trying to stop thoughts completely. You’re just reminding your brain: “This is where I actually live. Not in the past. Not in the future. Here.”

Bonus Tip: Practice Decision Hygiene

Many people overthink because they fear making the “wrong” choice. But indecision is more costly than imperfection. You can always adjust — but you can’t recover lost time.

Start practising what’s known as decision hygiene:

• Set a deadline to decide. Don’t let decisions bleed into days.
• Get clear on what “good enough” looks like.
• Remind yourself: “I can make adjustments. But I won’t waste energy on imaginary outcomes.”

Confidence isn’t built on perfect decisions — it’s built on making decisions, learning and moving forward.

You Can Reclaim Your Mental Space

Overthinking is a habit — not a personality trait. It’s not something you’re doomed to live with forever. The key is awareness, not avoidance. You don’t fight overthinking by thinking harder. You break it by grounding yourself, interrupting the loop, and getting back into action.

The goal is progress, not perfection. Each time you recognize a spiral and choose a better response, you’re rewiring your brain.

You’re building a new habit — one of clarity, calm, and confidence.

---

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

 

 

 

 

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com

 

 

 

Photo by 愚木混株 cdd20 on Unsplash

 

Confidence doesn’t begin with external achievements — it starts with how you talk to yourself. The way you think and speak to yourself each day has a direct impact on your self-esteem, motivation and sense of self-worth. This internal dialogue, also known as self-talk, can either lift you up or tear you down. If your thoughts are consistently negative, they become a mental loop that erodes your confidence and keeps you stuck.

---

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

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But the good news? You can take control of your self-talk and rewire the way you speak to yourself. And when you do, your confidence will start to grow naturally.

What Is Self-Talk and Why It Matters

Self-talk is the internal narration running in your head all day long. It’s not always loud or obvious, but it influences how you interpret the world, how you view yourself and how you respond to challenges.

There are two main types:

• Positive self-talk: Encouraging, empowering, realistic. (“I’ve handled tough things before — I can do it again.”)
• Negative self-talk: Critical, limiting, self-sabotaging. (“I always mess things up. I’ll never get this right.”)

Your self-talk is shaped by life experiences, upbringing, culture, media and personal beliefs. If it’s largely negative, it becomes a lens that distorts reality and stunts your growth.

The Damage of Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is more than just a bad habit. It chips away at your confidence and contributes to anxiety, depression and indecision. It keeps you small, afraid and reactive. You second-guess yourself, procrastinate, avoid risks and believe the worst about yourself — even if it’s not true.

Common forms of damaging self-talk include:

• Labeling: “I’m stupid,” “I’m ugly,” “I’m a failure.”
• Catastrophizing: “If I mess this up, everything will fall apart.”
• All-or-nothing thinking: “If I don’t get it perfect, I’m worthless.”
• Comparing: “Everyone else is ahead of me.”

The mind will believe what you repeat often. So if you’re constantly reinforcing these beliefs, they become your emotional default.

Step 1: Catch the Lies You Tell Yourself

The first step in shifting your self-talk is awareness. You can’t change what you don’t notice. Start paying attention to the voice in your head. What is it saying when you:

• Make a mistake?
• Look in the mirror?
• Think about a challenge?

Start writing these thoughts down. Don’t judge them — just observe. You’ll likely find that many are exaggerated, harsh or flat-out untrue.

Step 2: Get Real, Not Delusional

Positive self-talk doesn’t mean lying to yourself or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It means speaking to yourself like someone who sees your worth and believes you can grow.

Instead of saying: “I’m terrible at this.”
Try: “I’m still learning. I can improve with practice.”

Instead of: “I’m not attractive.”
Try: “I have features I like, and I’m working on feeling better in my body.”

Positive self-talk should be rooted in truth and compassion, not fluff. That’s how you build authentic confidence.

Step 3: Show Yourself Some Compassion

You wouldn’t speak to a friend the way you often speak to yourself. If your best friend were struggling, you’d offer encouragement — not insults. Why not do the same for yourself?

Self-compassion builds confidence because it allows room for mistakes, growth and imperfection. It creates safety within your own mind, making it easier to try new things without the fear of inner punishment.

Ask yourself:

• What would I say to a friend in this situation?
• What tone would I use with someone I love?

Now say those things to yourself, out loud or in writing. It might feel awkward at first. Keep going.

Step 4: Weed Out the Old Mental Scripts

We all carry outdated messages from childhood, culture, and media. “You’re not good enough.” “You need to look a certain way.” “Don’t stand out.” These mental scripts are often inherited — not chosen. But you get to decide which ones stay.

When a negative thought arises, challenge it:

• Where did this belief come from?
• Is it helpful or harmful?
• Is there evidence for it — or is it just noise?

Then, actively replace that thought. Not with fantasy, but with a realistic, positive alternative.

Step 5: Kick Out Disempowering Thoughts

Disempowering thoughts are thoughts that shrink you. They make you feel small, stuck and scared to act. These thoughts might sound like:

• “Why even try?”
• “Someone else could do it better.”
• “I’ll just embarrass myself.”

These aren’t facts — they’re fears in disguise. When you recognize them, interrupt the pattern. Say:

“This thought isn’t helping me. I choose a better one.”

Build a list of empowering phrases to use as mental armour. For example:

• “I’ve done hard things before.”
• “I’m capable of figuring this out.”
• “This moment doesn’t define me.”

Keep them visible — on your phone, bathroom mirror or notebook.

Step 6: Zoom Out and Look Ahead

Negative self-talk zooms in on the moment and blows it out of proportion. It convinces you that a bad day is a bad life. But confidence requires perspective.

Instead of obsessing over the traffic jam, awkward moment or missed opportunity, zoom out.

Ask:

• Will this matter in a week? A month? A year?
• What can I learn from this?
• How can this moment be part of my growth?

Focusing on the long game helps you stop overreacting and start responding with wisdom.

Step 7: Protect Your Mental Space

Your self-talk is influenced by the voices around you. If you’re surrounded by negative people or media constantly selling fear, comparison or shame, your self-talk will mirror that.

Be selective about:

• The people you spend time with
• The content you consume
• The environments you engage in

Protect your energy like it matters — because it does.

Confidence Is an Inside Job

Confidence doesn’t come from applause, appearance or achievement. It starts in your mind — with the words you say to yourself when no one else is listening.

You can’t always control the world outside you. But you can choose how you respond to it — and how you speak to yourself while you do.

Make your self-talk a daily discipline:

• Notice it.
• Question it.
• Replace what needs replacing.
• Speak with kindness and truth.

When you do, your confidence won’t be fake or forced. It will be real, earned, and unshakeable.

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To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

 

 

 

 

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com

 

 

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