Discomfort is the gatekeeper of growth. It stands between where you are and where you want to be. If you’ve ever skipped a workout, quit a project too soon, avoided a conversation or stayed stuck in your routine, it wasn’t laziness — it was your resistance to discomfort.
But here’s the twist: discomfort isn’t your enemy. It’s your compass. The more willing you are to lean into it, the more control you take over your life.
Most people spend their lives building walls to keep discomfort out. They avoid hard conversations, physical effort, emotional vulnerability or even minor inconvenience. But what they don’t realize is that every time they back down from discomfort, they reinforce limitations that slowly shrink their lives.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
To build confidence, resilience and freedom, you have to train yourself to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Here’s how to do it, step by step.
1. Start With Something Difficult — but Manageable
Don’t jump straight into the deep end. The goal isn’t to overwhelm yourself but to stretch yourself.
Trying to radically change your life in one day is a setup for failure. You don’t need to train for a marathon overnight or go on a ten-day silent retreat. Start with something that nudges you past your current comfort zone.
Examples:
- Commit to five minutes of daily movement.
- Practice speaking up once per meeting.
- Wake up 30 minutes earlier.
- Make eye contact and smile at strangers.
Choose something that requires effort but doesn’t feel impossible. You’re building discomfort tolerance like a muscle.
2. Ease Into It: Slow Is Strong
The biggest mistake people make when tackling discomfort is doing too much too fast. The “all or nothing” mindset is seductive — but it usually leads to nothing.
Try this instead:
- Exercise goal? Start with 5-10 minutes a day.
- Cluttered house? Tidy one small space at a time.
- Anxious about social situations? Say hello. That’s enough for today.
Progress that sticks is built gradually. When you make your steps smaller, you remove the excuses. And once you start, momentum becomes your ally.
3. Don’t Quit at the First Urge to Stop
Discomfort doesn’t whisper — it screams. But that scream is temporary.
Whether you’re writing, meditating, lifting weights or just doing something new, there will be a moment where your mind tells you: “This sucks. Quit now.”
Don’t. Not yet.
Try this approach:
- Push through the first urge to quit.
- When the second urge hits, push again.
- At the third urge, give yourself permission to stop — if you want.
Most of the time, you’ll realize the resistance softens if you just keep going a little longer. You’re retraining your nervous system to see discomfort not as danger, but as growth.
4. Observe the Discomfort Without Reacting
The moment discomfort hits, most people panic or run. But if you watch it, rather than react to it, something powerful happens: you separate yourself from it.
Practice this:
- Pause and feel the discomfort.
- Notice how it shows up — tight chest, racing thoughts, restlessness.
- Don’t fight it. Don’t distract yourself. Just witness it.
When you observe your discomfort like a scientist instead of a victim, you strip it of its power. You realize that while it might be uncomfortable, it’s not dangerous. It’s not unbearable. It just is.
This alone can change your relationship with fear, stress and pain.
5. Smile Through the Struggle
It sounds cheesy, but smiling — even a fake smile — can shift your emotional state in the middle of discomfort.
Smiling triggers neural signals that calm your stress response. It tells your body: “I’m safe.” And that changes everything.
Here’s how to use it:
- When the task feels tough, pause.
- Take a deep breath.
- Smile — even if it feels forced.
- Say something encouraging to yourself: “I’ve got this. Just keep going.”
Smiling won’t remove the discomfort, but it makes it easier to stay in the game. And that’s the point.
6. Push Just a Bit Further Next Time
Growth is incremental. Once you’ve shown yourself you can tolerate a little discomfort, the next step is to increase the dose.
The formula is simple:
- Each time, go slightly beyond your last limit.
- If you worked out for 10 minutes yesterday, try 12 today.
- If you initiated one social interaction last week, try two this week.
Every rep builds your tolerance. Every inch of discomfort you embrace becomes a foot of expanded capability. This is how you rewire your limits.
Why This Works: The Real Purpose of Discomfort
Discomfort signals growth. It shows up when you’re doing something unfamiliar, stretching yourself or breaking old patterns.
Here’s what happens when you consistently lean into discomfort:
- You stop procrastinating. Discomfort no longer paralyzes you.
- You develop grit. Hard things don’t scare you — they excite you.
- You build confidence. You trust yourself to handle whatever shows up.
- You expand your life. New opportunities, skills and relationships open up.
The more discomfort you can navigate, the more freedom you create.
The Trap of Avoidance
Avoiding discomfort feels good right now, but it costs you long-term joy.
- Skip the workout → feel good now, hate yourself later.
- Don’t speak up → avoid anxiety now, stay stuck later.
- Avoid trying something new → no risk now, no growth ever.
Avoiding discomfort creates a life that’s full of regrets and missed chances. The most uncomfortable lives are usually lived by those who avoided discomfort the most.
Start Small. Start Today. But Start.
You don’t have to go to war with discomfort. You just have to stop backing down from it.
Choose one thing that challenges you — just a little. Do it today. Then again tomorrow. Let the discomfort rise, and stay with it. Watch what happens.
You’ll grow. You’ll adapt. And you’ll prove to yourself, over and over again, that discomfort isn’t your enemy.
It’s your edge.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash
