Do you find yourself constantly saying ‘yes’ to others people’s requests? Are you running errands for others because you can’t say ‘no’? Looking back on your life and earlier decisions, have you followed a route – career or personal – that was contrary to your desires just because it was required of you? If you responded yes to the above, you, like hundreds of millions of other people in the world, have a stronger than usual drive to please others over yourself. It is a common ‘malady’ (for lack of a better description) that, if left untreated, can lead to discontent later in life. However, there is a way to control the drive to please, and the first step toward overcoming it is to understand its origins. To be aware of how it began. Once this is determined, the remaining stages will be easy to complete.
Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.
One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.
I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.
You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.
Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.
During your adolescent years, you may have developed a need to satisfy everyone. Not during childhood, as most youngsters appear to prefer to do the opposite of what is expected of them. Fitting in, or being with the in-crowd, is especially vital throughout the key prepubescent and adolescent years. At this point, you most likely did things because you wanted others (the cheerleaders, the varsity squad, the cliquish clique) to like you. What counted most (at the time) was that you were well liked, regardless of who you were. This erroneous belief persisted throughout your college years and into your professional career.
Now that you understand the source of this “pleasing” problem, you will be in charge and have more power to say ‘no’ to requests in which you would ordinarily compromise on what you want in order to be ‘loved’ or just to please someone (or everyone).
What do you do today about the concessions you’ve made in the past? It’s not worth crying over spilled milk, therefore the best option is to accept that you’ve sacrificed in certain areas of your life and try to locate a silver lining in the cloud of ‘regret’. Try to identify a hidden benefit or value that you obtained by making the ‘wrong choices’. Surely you profited from it in some way. You may have learnt a new skill, realized something valuable about yourself, or made new friends; identify these. No matter how tiny or inconsequential they appear to be, they helped form you into the person you are today, and that is vital.
The French proverb “The art of pleasing is the art of deceiving” is true: you deceive them as well as yourself. Stop putting others’ needs ahead of your own. Be conscious of the source, be aware that you have the ability to say ‘no’, and be aware of the rewards of your previous acts. Once you become aware of these, you will learn to be adaptable, and new opportunities will surface that will strengthen and empower you.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 45-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line books stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)
