Believing in yourself isn’t a luxury or feel-good notion. It’s the foundation of every worthwhile goal, meaningful connection and lasting achievement. If you don’t believe in your own ability to handle what life throws at you — or to shape your life into something better — you’re stuck before you start.
Confidence doesn’t show up one day and stay forever. It’s something you build, maintain and sometimes rebuild. It’s also not about pretending you’re great at everything. It’s about knowing your strengths, respecting your limits and staying willing to grow.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
This article breaks down the essential pieces of real, lasting self-belief — what it looks like, how to develop it and how to protect it when life gets messy.
Confidence Is Built, Not Born
Confidence is not a fixed trait. No one is born with an unshakable belief in themselves. Most people learn it through action — by doing hard things, learning from failure and noticing their own progress over time.
If you’re struggling with confidence right now, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you need better tools and more practice.
Here are the core ways to strengthen your belief in yourself:
1. Acknowledge What You’ve Already Done
We tend to fixate on what’s missing or what went wrong. But confidence comes from remembering what you’ve survived, achieved and overcome.
- Write down your wins — big and small.
- Revisit past challenges and how you handled them.
- Keep a “done list” alongside your to-do list to track progress.
This isn’t about ego. It’s about evidence. When you remind yourself of your capabilities, you build trust in your ability to succeed again.
2. Set Goals That Matter to You
Vague goals like “be more confident” or “do better” don’t work. Create specific goals that motivate you — goals that mean something.
- Break large goals into smaller milestones.
- Track your progress visibly — on a board, app or journal.
- Celebrate each step, not just the finish line.
Momentum fuels belief. Each step you complete becomes proof that you’re capable.
3. Watch Your Inner Voice
What you say to yourself matters. Your thoughts shape your actions — and over time, your identity.
- Notice negative patterns like “I always mess up” or “I’m not good enough.”
- Replace those with neutral or empowering alternatives: “I’m learning,” “I can handle this,” “I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again.”
- Practice affirmations if they help, but go for phrases that feel real — not overly sugary.
The voice in your head should sound like a coach, not a critic.
4. Keep Learning and Growing
Confidence isn’t pretending you already know everything. It’s trusting that you can figure it out.
- Learn something new every week — skills, ideas, even hobbies.
- Take online courses, read books or ask questions in conversations.
- Stay curious instead of fearful when facing uncertainty.
People who believe in themselves see mistakes as part of the learning curve, not signs of failure.
5. Train Your Brain to Focus on the Good
The brain is wired to scan for threats. That means you’ll naturally notice what’s wrong more than what’s right.
You can rewire this with consistent effort.
- Start or end your day by writing three things you’re grateful for.
- Notice small wins — like staying calm in traffic or finishing a tough email.
- Surround yourself with positive inputs — uplifting music, inspiring content and encouraging people.
A positive mindset doesn’t ignore problems. It just helps you face them from a stronger place.
Habits That Reinforce Self-Worth
Confidence isn’t just mental. It’s physical and emotional, too. How you treat your body and your time says a lot about how much you value yourself.
These daily habits reinforce that value:
1. Move Your Body
Exercise doesn’t just change how you look — it changes how you feel about yourself. It builds strength, releases stress and improves your mood.
- Aim for 30 minutes of movement most days — walking, dancing, stretching, anything.
- Don’t overcomplicate it. Just get moving regularly.
When you push through discomfort and show up for your body, confidence follows.
2. Eat Like You Matter
Fuel affects focus, energy and mood — all of which shape how you show up in life.
- Choose whole foods more often than processed ones.
- Hydrate consistently.
- Don’t skip meals or punish yourself for eating.
Confidence grows when your body feels nourished and steady.
3. Sleep Like It’s Sacred
Sleep resets everything. If you’re tired, it’s hard to think clearly, stay optimistic or handle stress well.
- Stick to a consistent bedtime.
- Shut off screens 30 minutes before sleep.
- Create a dark, cool, quiet environment.
If you treat sleep like an afterthought, your self-trust takes a hit. Prioritize it like your mental health depends on it — because it does.
4. Master Stress, Don’t Let It Master You
Stress will come. What matters is how you manage it.
- Develop a regular self-care practice: journaling, meditating, walking, drawing.
- Build in downtime before you burn out.
- Talk about your feelings instead of bottling them up.
Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel stressed. It means you know how to handle it.
The Power of Connection
Believing in yourself doesn’t mean doing everything alone. In fact, people who have healthy self-belief know when to ask for support — and who to ask.
Here’s how connection builds confidence:
1. Ask for What You Need
If you don’t advocate for yourself, no one else will.
- Speak clearly about your needs — whether emotional, professional or personal.
- Set boundaries and stick to them.
- Allow yourself to receive help without guilt.
Asking for support shows self-respect, not weakness.
2. Build Real Relationships
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need a few solid connections that feel safe and mutual.
- Be honest about your struggles and victories.
- Stay in touch. Check in, even when there’s no “reason.”
- Share your growth process. That vulnerability deepens trust.
Real confidence often starts with being real with others.
3. Find a Mentor or Coach
You don’t have to figure everything out from scratch. A mentor can help you see blind spots, build skills faster and navigate tough decisions.
- Ask someone you admire for a conversation.
- Join professional groups where mentorship is common.
- Be respectful of their time — come prepared, follow through.
The right guidance can accelerate your growth.
4. Be of Service
Helping others makes you feel more connected, more useful and more grounded in your strengths.
- Volunteer in a cause you care about.
- Support a friend going through something hard.
- Use your skills to solve a problem in your community.
Confidence grows when you see the impact you have on the world around you.
Self-belief isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up anyway. It’s the quiet strength that says, “I can handle this,” even when you’re not sure how yet. Keep choosing action over doubt, care over criticism and connection over isolation. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes — and the stronger you get.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Photo by Sandra Seitamaa on Unsplash
