Confidence isn’t just a personality trait — it’s a tool for life. When you have it, you make better decisions, handle stress more effectively, take risks and bounce back from setbacks faster. When you lack it, everything feels harder than it should.
If your confidence has taken a hit lately, you’re not alone. Life can throw curveballs that leave even the most grounded people second-guessing themselves. The good news? Confidence isn’t fixed. It’s something you can rebuild — with the right habits.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
This article breaks down five practical, proven habits you can adopt today to boost your confidence and start feeling better about yourself and your life.
1. Be Kind to Yourself—Always
This one sounds simple, but it’s often the hardest.
When you’re feeling low, your inner voice tends to turn harsh. “I’m not good enough.” “I always mess things up.” “No one wants to hear what I have to say.” These thoughts are common — but they’re also destructive.
Here’s how to flip that script:
- Catch negative self-talk early. The moment you notice it, pause. Would you say that to someone you care about? If not, don’t say it to yourself.
- Replace criticism with encouragement. Try, “I’m doing the best I can,” or “It’s okay to mess up — everyone does.”
- Focus on progress, not perfection. You don’t need to be flawless to be worthy. You just need to show up and keep going.
Being kind to yourself isn’t about ignoring mistakes. It’s about not turning them into proof that you’re not enough.
2. Make Time for Real Self-Care
Confidence is easier when your mind and body are in sync. If you’re constantly exhausted, stressed and running on empty, it’s nearly impossible to feel strong or optimistic.
So make self-care a non-negotiable. That means:
- Getting enough sleep so your brain and body can recover.
- Moving your body in ways that feel good, whether that’s walking, dancing or lifting weights.
- Eating foods that keep your energy stable instead of crashing.
- Doing something every day that’s just for you. This could be reading, taking a bath, journaling or spending time with someone who lifts you up.
Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or time-consuming. It just has to be intentional.
3. Cut the Negativity — In Thoughts and People
One of the fastest ways to drain your confidence? Surround yourself with toxic people or let your own thoughts spiral unchecked.
Start by taking inventory:
- Who in your life makes you feel small, anxious, or judged?
- What patterns of thought keep showing up when you’re down?
You don’t have to cut everyone out or silence your mind completely — but you do need to protect your energy.
Here’s how to set the tone:
- Limit time with people who bring you down. You don’t owe everyone access to your time or attention.
- Challenge negative thoughts with curiosity. Ask, “Is this actually true? Or is it just fear talking?”
- Practice reframing. If someone criticizes you, shift the focus from “I must be a failure” to “What does this say about them?”
Confidence isn’t about ignoring negativity. It’s about refusing to absorb it as your truth.
4. Focus on What You Can Control
When life feels chaotic, it’s tempting to throw up your hands and give up. But not everything is out of your hands — and focusing on what you can control can restore your sense of agency and confidence.
Try this exercise:
- List everything that’s bothering you right now. Don’t filter — just get it all out.
- Go through your list and cross off anything you truly can’t control. Other people’s opinions, the past, the weather — out of your hands.
- Focus on what’s left. Ask yourself, “What small action can I take to change or improve this?”
It could be as simple as sending an email, cleaning your space or setting a boundary. The point is to act — even in small ways.
Action leads to momentum. Momentum builds confidence.
5. Present Yourself Like You Mean It
How you present yourself affects how you feel. That doesn’t mean you need to look like a model — but it does mean showing up in a way that makes you feel pulled together, powerful and present.
Simple ways to boost your visual confidence:
- Find clothes that make you feel good. Not trendy — just you.
- Take pride in your grooming. A fresh haircut, clean nails or a touch of makeup can go a long way.
- Smile at yourself in the mirror. Not because it changes your looks — but because it changes your attitude.
When you look in the mirror and like what you see, you stand taller. You speak clearer. You believe, even just a little more, in your value.
Confidence Is a Habit, Not a Trait
Confidence isn’t a switch you flip. It’s something you practice. Some days it’ll come easily. Other days you’ll have to work for it. But the more you choose habits that support your self-worth, the more naturally confident you become.
- Be kind to yourself when you stumble.
- Take care of your physical and emotional needs.
- Create boundaries around negative energy.
- Take responsibility for what you can do.
- And show up each day like someone who deserves to be seen.
You don’t need to become a different person to feel confident. You just need to reconnect with who you already are — and treat that person like they matter.
Because they do.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
Photo by Luis Andrés Villalón Vega on Unsplash
