Low self-esteem doesn’t announce itself loudly. It’s subtle. It creeps in through constant self-doubt, quiet criticism and a sinking feeling that you’re not good enough. Over time, it builds a loop — a cycle of negative thoughts feeding off your own low confidence and shaping how others see and respond to you. This article offers a straightforward way to break that pattern. No fluff, no gimmicks. Just a few simple tools that, when practiced daily, will change how you see yourself and how the world sees you.
Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.
One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.
I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.
You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.
Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.
You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life.
The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download
Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.
If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program
How Low Self-Esteem Works
Low self-esteem is a mental trap. It begins with negative self-talk: “I’m not smart enough,” “I’ll mess this up,” “They probably don’t like me.” These thoughts impact how you present yourself — your body language, your tone, your energy. People pick up on that. They treat you accordingly. This, in turn, reinforces your own low opinion of yourself.
It’s a feedback loop:
- You think negatively about yourself
- You project low confidence
- Others respond with indifference or dismissal
- That reaction deepens your self-doubt
This spiral continues until you actively disrupt it.
Break the Cycle: Build a Positive Feedback Loop
The good news? The spiral works both ways. Positive thoughts lead to confident behaviour, which draws positive responses, reinforcing your sense of worth. This is called a virtuous circle.
You don’t have to fake confidence — you build it, one thought at a time. And the way to build it is through simple, intentional mental habits that reshape your subconscious.
These habits aren’t complicated. In fact, they’re surprisingly simple — but powerful when repeated over time.
3 Daily Mental Shifts That Build Confidence
Let’s call these mental habits mind weapons. Why? Because they fight back against the lies you’ve been telling yourself — and win.
1. The Fixed Positive Thought
This is your mental anchor. It’s one powerful, affirming thought about yourself — something you truly believe or want to believe — that you can call on whenever negativity creeps in.
Here’s how to create it:
- Choose a moment when you felt confident or proud of yourself
- Pair that moment with a song that lifts your mood
- Close your eyes, play the song and fully relive that moment in your mind
- Do this daily for 30 days
Over time, this memory-emotion pairing becomes automatic. You won’t need the song or the closed eyes. You’ll be able to activate it in seconds whenever self-doubt hits.
This practice trains your brain to access confidence on command.
2. Switch Thinking: Flip the Script
Low self-esteem distorts how you interpret situations. You assume the worst. Someone looks at you? They must think you’re weird. You stumble on your words? Everyone must think you’re stupid.
Switch thinking means consciously flipping that inner script.
Example:
You walk into a room and someone makes eye contact. Your default thought: “They’re judging me.”
Switch it to: “They noticed me because I look confident and interesting.”
Then act like that’s true. Smile, stand tall and walk with purpose.
Even if you don’t feel it yet, behaviour shapes belief. When you act confident, you start to feel it. And the best part? People begin to respond to the version of you that you’re showing them.
3. Critical Thinking: Take Control of Your Inner Dialogue
You can’t stop every negative thought from entering your mind — but you can control how long it stays.
Here’s how:
- When a self-critical thought shows up, mentally flag it
- Ask: Is this thought rational or emotional?
- If irrational, dismiss it. Let it pass through like background noise
- If it feels rational, engage with it briefly. Ask: Is this useful? Is this true? Does this help me grow or just hurt me?
If it’s a legitimate issue (like a mistake you made), use it as a lesson, not a weapon. Accept your imperfection. Say to yourself, “So what?” Everyone makes mistakes. That doesn’t make you unworthy.
Owning your flaws without letting them define you is the most confident thing you can do.
Consistency Builds Confidence
None of these tools work if you only use them once. Confidence isn’t a one-time decision — it’s a daily practice.
Use these mental shifts daily:
- Trigger your fixed positive thought whenever self-doubt arises
- Practice switch thinking in real-time social settings
- Use critical thinking to challenge inner negativity
Within 30 days, these habits become natural. You won’t need to remind yourself. You’ll think better thoughts by default. You’ll stand taller. Speak clearer. Feel stronger.
You’ll start noticing how people treat you differently — not because you changed who you are, but because you finally stopped hiding behind self-doubt.
What About Deeper Issues?
Sometimes, low self-esteem is linked to past trauma, chronic anxiety or ongoing negative relationships. These tools help, but if you’re facing something deeper, it’s worth talking to a therapist or counsellor. There’s no weakness in seeking help. In fact, it’s one of the boldest, most self-respecting moves you can make.
You Are Not Broken
Low self-esteem lies to you. It tells you you’re less than. That you’re not good enough. That other people are better, smarter, more lovable.
None of that is true.
What is true is that you can change how you think — and that change will shift everything. You don’t need to become someone else. You just need to start treating yourself like you matter.
Because you do.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.S. You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life.
The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download
Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.
P.P.P.P.S. If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program
P.P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Photo by Dylan Brown on Unsplash
