How to Axe Self-Sabotaging Behaviour

2022-01-16 ~ adminlife

Self-sabotage is a uniquely human behaviour. Many of us sabotage ourselves when we decide we want something by doing everything we can to ensure we don’t get it. Sound familiar? Although self-sabotage is a subconscious behaviour, we can get a handle on it.

There are many reasons that you might sabotage yourself. It’s an extremely common behaviour, rooted in a fear of the unknown. If you’ve immersed yourself in mediocrity, the idea of greatness may be frightening. Ask yourself if you’re satisfied with your life.

Find out why you may self-sabotage:

You might self-sabotage because you have a need to be in control of your circumstances. The easiest and most certain way to stay in control is to maintain the status quo.

- If you put your all into something, you run the risk of becoming vulnerable. Fear gets the best of you and you self-sabotage.

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Low self-esteem. Do you feel unworthy of greatness?

- For whatever reason, you may have decided that happiness ought to be forever beyond your reach. This is a self-limiting idea, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Perhaps you undermine your efforts because you’re seeking excitement. You feel the need to remain in a constant state of turmoil to distract yourself from painful memories or alleviate boredom.

If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, fear not: there are steps you can take to put yourself on the path toward self-mastery.

Consider this process for defeating your self-sabotage:

Observe your behaviour. First off, it’s essential that you begin to observe yourself. You can effectively do this by creating a self-sabotage journal. Make a journal entry every time you realize that you’ve sabotaged yourself. Describe the setting, circumstances, and end result. Avoid over-analyzing.

- Most often, a person’s true intentions are most evident in their actions, rather than their words.
- Strive to be an impersonal observer in your journal. Eventually, you’ll gain a better understanding of your motives in certain situations.

Envision success. Keep in mind that success is neither black nor white. Cultivate the habit of envisioning what success means to you and remember how it feels to achieve it. If you do this consistently, you may find that what you envision changes over time.

- Begin to see success as an integral part of your future, but realize there will still be challenges. Just like everyone else, you’ll still have to pay taxes and have relationship issues.

Let go of the notion of perfection. As you visualize success, are you still thinking that success equals perfection? If so, it’s time to realize that nobody is perfect.

- This is what George Bernard Shaw would refer to as “doublethink.” Perfection and life are mutually exclusive because perfection is unattainable. Your subconscious won’t allow you to achieve success if you associate success with the impossible task of being perfect.
- Think of your subconscious as a computer. It doesn’t know how to execute a command called “do the impossible.”
- If you associate success with fear, your subconscious will fight you the entire way. Why? Because its primary function is to protect you from perceived threats.

Give yourself permission to anticipate success with excitement. Perhaps you’ve been sending your subconscious the message, “Don’t give me success!” So, let’s put your self-sabotaging behaviours in the past!

Embrace the good life you deserve by picturing yourself as successful, and then refuse to talk yourself out of going for it. The journey to your ideal life starts now!

To work together to help you overcome your self-sabotaging behaviour and get you moving on your journey to success, click on the blue button below to book a 15-minute, no obligation “Get to know you” call

Going alone on creating a better life is difficult. Find out how working with a Life Coach can make the journey to success and a better life easier.

Book the call now.

To your success

Michael

P.S. you know that living a life that is in balance is important. When you can balance your work, family, health, relationships, fitness and money, you feel better and can achieve your goals. You have the support of your family and friends which makes life worth living.

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

Simple Guide to Setting Realistic Goals for the New Year

2021-12-31 ~ adminlife

The New Year is the perfect time to start fresh. If there’s any aspect of your life that you’d like to improve, set some clear and attainable goals for yourself that will help you get there.

Take It Slow

Work towards your goal one piece at a time. It’s important to take it slow and not take on too much at once. The main reason that some people fail when it comes to their New Year’s goals is because they fail to plan out a realistic path.

Follow Through With a Plan

It’s easy to say: “I want to lose 50 pounds” or “I want to learn a musical instrument.” Keep in mind that big goals like these will take some time and effort. Diets are hard to start because you may feel unmotivated or hungry. Musical instruments require time to master, and you may start with weeks of just learning notes before getting to any fun melodies.

Remember that the beginning is tough. Muster up the courage and enthusiasm to continue with your efforts. Remember that most people give up, but you’re not most people, are you?

You’re different because, unlike most people, you’re going to create a clear and realistic plan to take you right to success. If you’re going to lose 50 pounds, define how you’re going to lose those pounds. Are you starting an exercise routine? Are you going to join Weight Watchers or count calories?

You know that you won’t lose the weight quickly; it’s a steady loss that brings success. Even if you’re short a couple of pounds on one of your short-term goals, you can revise your plan and kick up the pace, or just continue on your path because you’ll reach your 50 pound goal before the year is out. That’s what you’ll be able to accomplish with a solid plan in place.

Be Real

You have to stay realistic when it comes to your New Year’s goals. The holidays are a joyful time, and often times you’ll feel motivated to achieve something big. Know that you can achieve big things, but there are also only 24 hours in a day.

Avoid making goals that would take more than a year to complete. If you want to make a long-term goal like this, break it up into parts and give yourself a realistic plan for your first year goal.

Visualize the Outcome

When you run into snags in the road, as you’re bound to in life from time to time, it will help to visualize yourself reaching your end goal. Visualizing it makes it feel real and motivates you to continue to work hard to make it happen.

The Right Attitude

If you’re practising the right attitude, you can go far. It’s true that all you need to do is believe in yourself. You’ve probably realized that if you don’t believe that you can accomplish something, you simply won’t. How can you expect to achieve great things if you don’t believe in yourself?

An optimistic attitude is critical to your success. Think about how you felt when you first set your New Year’s goal. Chances are that you had an excellent attitude, so try to maintain that mindset throughout your journey to success with your goal.

Once you’ve determined a realistic goal and divided it up into short, achievable tasks, you’re bound for success as long as you take action to complete each step. Go ahead and make that New Year’s resolution, knowing that this year is going to be your most successful yet!

You can book your 15-minute “Get to know you” call by clicking on the blue button belowand we can talk about how we can work together

To your success

Michael

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

Photo by Bryce Boehler on Unsplash

Set Your Game Plan for the Coming Year

2021-12-29 ~ adminlife

You probably have goals that you hoped to achieve this year, but didn’t. This time of year, it’s natural to lament about goals you seem to have lost.

Thankfully, your goals don’t have to remain mere dreams. You can take yourself from a path with unachievable goals to one with attainable targets by just changing your approach.

Once you’ve committed to believing in your abilities, you can start to put things in place to actually attain what you’ve set your mind and heart on. And this holiday season is the perfect time to set that game plan.

Use this step-by-step approach to make an effective plan to achieve those goals:

Be thankful for the year’s achievements. Even if you didn’t reach the targets you wanted, there are undoubtedly things that you did accomplish. Take a few moments to run those accomplishments through your mind and give thanks for them. Feel good about yourself. You’ve most likely achieved far more than many others!
Start with a master list. Instead of just dreaming about the things you’d like to achieve in the coming year, take the time to sit down and write them on a master list. Be specific about exactly what you want and how much (make it measurable).

Prioritize your goals. By the time you’re done writing, you’ll probably have a list of 20-30 goals. First, arrange your list in the order in which you want to achieve them and then zoom in on the top four or five.

Plot and set attainable targets. Now that you’ve identified the four or five most pressing goals, plot out attainable sub-targets for each of these goals and give yourself a timeline to achieve each step.

- Remember that the best way to achieve mammoth goals is to break them down into smaller pieces that you know you can achieve. Now, you know it’s attainable because you’ve figured out how to achieve each step. It’s only a matter of completing each step, one by one. Once you complete your last step, you’ve achieved your big goal!
- Plan to give yourself a small reward when you’ve successfully conquered each phase of the master plan.

Reaffirm your commitment. As the old year is winding down, make some time to read through your list and reaffirm your commitment to achieving these goals in the coming year.

- With each goal, start by saying, “I reaffirm my commitment to …” and read the details of the goal from beginning to end.
- By reaffirming your commitment, you officially vow to do what is necessary to achieve the goals, which is a much better place than you were at the start of this year.
- Commit, also, to actively finding solutions to overcome any challenges that may crop up. When you mentally prepare yourself ahead of time for challenges, they’re not such a shock, and you can focus on solving any constraints and continue moving forward.

Now that you’ve changed your approach, you can expect to see a much-improved outcome with each goal you’ve set for yourself. Go get ‘em!

You can book your 15-minute “Get to know you” call by clicking on the blue button belowand we can talk about how we can work together to help you set your goals for the coming year and plan how you will achieve them

To your success

Michael

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

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Top 6 Excuses That Limit Your Success

2021-12-26 ~ adminlife

Everyone wants to have a beach body, but no one wants to diet or workout. Being successful isn’t automatic. It requires concentrated effort and action.

Many of us have a series of excuses that we can pull out of a hat at a moment’s notice. There’s always one that seems to fit the bill perfectly. This is done largely to protect ourselves and to justify our current circumstances.

Are any of these excuses holding you back from success?

“I don’t know how.” This common excuse gives you permission to not even try. However, this excuse simply doesn’t hold water. At no time in the history of mankind has there been so much information available. Want to start a charity? There are hundreds of books on the subject. Need to lose 100 lbs? There are thousands of resources available.

- One of the best ways to figure out how to do something is to find a qualified mentor. Another effective option is to simply try and then adjust your approach based on your results.

“I’m afraid.” This is perhaps the most socially acceptable answer. Who hasn’t been afraid? But there is very little to legitimately fear in our modern times. In most circumstances, you’re not in danger of being eaten by a lion or falling off a cliff.

- Most of our fears are socially based and have no real consequences. Being afraid isn’t a valid excuse 99% of the time.
- Would you rather be successful or protect your ego?

“I don’t have enough time.” Do you really believe this? Nearly all of us waste time on activities that provide no real value, including watching TV, internet surfing, and a host of other time wasters.

- You know in your heart you could make the time for something that was truly important to you.

“I don’t have enough money.” This is another common excuse, but there is usually a way to work around a lack of financial resources. For example, if you’d like to learn to play the piano but can’t afford one, you could:

- Find a free piano on Craigslist
- Pick up an inexpensive digital piano in a pawnshop
- Ask a local church or school to use their piano after hours
- Locate a piano you can use at your local college

“It’s too late for me.” It’s too late? A person climbed Mount Everest in his 80’s. People have gone back to medical school in their 60’s. What would you like to do?

- Getting a late start might be less convenient and more challenging, but there’s nothing wrong with that. It means that you’ll only take on the challenges that are really important to you. That could be a good thing.
- To be fair, there are a few things that require an earlier start than others. You’re not likely to play in the NBA if you take up basketball in your 30’s. But you could be a coach or work in the front office.

“It’s too hard.” Some endeavours are certainly more competitive than others. But claiming that something is “too hard” is really just another way of admitting that you’re afraid.

- The truth is that people with limited resources and talent can still be extremely successful.
- We tend to imagine the competition is much tougher than it really is. The average person doesn’t have a lot of control over himself. He’s not truly committed. Those with motivation and stamina are really the ones who succeed.

People that are successful on a regular basis tend to have the fewest excuses. How could it be any other way?

Those with excuses are able to justify not taking action. However, no action equals no results. So put aside your excuses and go after what you truly want. You’ll be glad you did!

You can book your 15-minute “Get to know you” call by clicking on the blue button belowand we can talk about how we can work together

To your success

Michael

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Why You’re Still Waiting to Get Started on Your Dreams

2021-11-18 ~ adminlife

Do you tell yourself that you’ll get started on your big plans at some future date? You can start a business after the kids graduate from college? Or, maybe you’ll just wait until Memorial Day to begin your exercise program. We’ve all done it. There always seems to be a good reason not to get started right here and now.

Are you sure you know the real reason you’re waiting? If you’re waiting to begin pursuing your dreams, you’re likely just procrastinating!

Consider these excuses. Is one of them yours?

You’re waiting for the perfect time. Are you waiting for the stars to align and the heavens to tap you on the shoulder and give you permission? You’ll be waiting for a long time. The time will never be perfect to get started on something significant, so just get started.
You’re waiting for something else to happen first. Maybe you’re waiting for the kids to move out or for the mortgage to be paid off. Or you’re waiting until your next promotion. Or you’re waiting until your parents pass away.
You’re waiting until you have more money. Regardless of your budget, there’s something you can do to get started today. Even if it’s just doing research and learning new skills, you can do something. There’s never enough money. You’ll find the money you need along the way.
You’re waiting for Monday, or the first of the month, or the first of the year. So many people wait until Monday to start a diet, or the first of the month to begin an exercise routine. There’s nothing magical about any date on the calendar. The calendar is a man-made invention. There’s no reason to be bound by it.
- Will you get more accomplished if you start today or wait three weeks?
You’re waiting until you know more. Some people believe they need to know every shred of information related to their quest before they can get started. This simply isn’t true. It’s a procrastination technique. You don’t need to know a lot to begin.
You don’t really think you’ll be successful. It makes sense that you won’t get started if you believe you can’t be successful. This is a sign that you might need to start with a smaller objective. A perfect goal is one that you believe you can achieve that also excites you.
- In this case, address the underlying issue instead of stalling.
You’re afraid you will be successful. Many people are afraid of success. They’re comfortable with their current situation even if they don’t like it. They would rather have predictable misery than uncertain success. There’s no way to predict 100% what your life will be like if you’re successful.
- Focus on the positive aspects of achieving success. List out all of the benefits and visualize yourself enjoying those benefits.
You’re scared. If you’re honest with yourself, this is the most likely reason you’re postponing the pursuit of your dreams. Whether you dread the feeling of being hungry on a diet, sweating on a treadmill, or making a fool out of yourself with a failed business, you’re simply afraid.
- Make yourself more afraid of doing nothing. Imagine how terrible it would be to waste your life. Think about how awful it would be to never test yourself or to never have a chance of living your dreams.

In most cases, it’s better to get started immediately, rather than waiting for just the right time to get started. Even a little progress is better than no progress. Have faith in yourself and jump in with both feet.

You can’t be successful if you don’t get started. Your dreams are waiting for you.

You can book your 15-minute “Get to know you” call by clicking on the blue button below:and we can talk about how we can work together to get you started on your dreams but also make your dreams into goals.

To your success

Michael

Check out my programs at Confidence and Life Coaching by clicking on the logo below:

Photo by Mary J. Friedrich on Unsplash