Are you Focused on Making Progress or Maintaining the Status Quo?

2020-11-282020-11-29 ~ adminlife

Many people erroneously believe they’re making progress because they’re working hard. A good way to predict the direction of your life is to measure how much of your time you’re actually trying to enhance it. Then consider how much of your time is spent just maintaining the status quo.

Most people believe they want something better and are working hard to accomplish it. In most cases, they’re expending a lot of mental energy wishing, fantasizing, and worrying. None of these are reliable ways to enhance your life. What have you done this week that will take your life to the next level? If you’re like most people, you haven’t done much.

Change is challenging, because there’s uncertainty. Familiarity is comforting, even if you’re unhappy. Most people naturally gravitate toward the familiar even if they’re miserable. If you can become comfortable with the prospect of change, progress is easy.

Be brave enough to create the change you desire:

Working hard isn’t enough. If you’re working hard on the wrong things, you’ll never see any progress. Effort matters, but only if you’re spending your time wisely. If you want to see real change, it’s necessary to spend time doing constructive things above and beyond what is required to live your current life.
Have you learned anything new lately? Learning new information can help to create change, if you use the information. What are you doing instead of learning? Watching the same TV shows? You’re maintaining the status quo. New information leads to new understandings.
Are you spending time with anyone new? Hanging out with the same people each day is another good way to ensure that nothing changes. New people can change your perspective and introduce you to new ideas.
Are you doing anything new? The same gym workout repeated over and over again will ensure that you neither gain nor lose ground. The same behaviours deliver the same, reliable results.

- Going into the same job and providing the same efforts ensures the same paycheck.
- Thinking the same thoughts results in the same actions.
- Same hobbies? No changes coming.

What did you do today? At the end of each day, ask yourself two questions:

- If I lived this same day over and over for the next 20 years, what would my finances, health, social life, and relationships look like?
- Did I do anything today to take my life to the next level, or did I ensure that nothing will change in the future?
- Write your responses in a journal. You’ll tire of not having anything interesting to write. You’ll spend more time trying to make a difference in your life. The answer to these two questions can predict the future better than you think.

Do you have goals? Do you measure your progress? Goals are nothing more than desired changes. If you have goals and you’re making progress, you can expect to see progress in your life.

- You’re choosing to maintain the status quo if you don’t have concrete goals. Any changes you experience will be due to random chance.

Most people claim they want a better life, but few are doing anything to make it happen. It’s easier to wish than to face uncertainty.

If you’re working hard but failing to gain any ground, spend some time each day doing something that will give you the chance to accomplish something new in the future. The more time you spend this way, the more progress you’ll make toward the life you desire.

To really make changes to your life that last, you should engage with a Life Coach who can guide you through the process and also keep you motivated to move forward. To set up a 30-minute Primary Life Goals Discovery Session, where you will complete a discovery form with me, and receive it after the session, visit “Identify Your Primary Life Goal Discovery Session” to learn more and how to book a time with me. I am only taking 5 people every week for the sessions, so read the post and join now.

You are success

Michael

P.S. If you want to learn even more about being successful, making changes that last and developing confidence in yourself, you can join the Facebook Group Developing Confidence in Yourself or You Are success Life Coach

Michael G. Wilkovesky

Feature Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Which Obstacle to Change is Holding You Back?

2020-11-19 ~ adminlife

Change occurs naturally, but it can be difficult to keep it flowing in the direction you want. According to some estimates, 80% of New Year resolutions fail. When it comes to losing weight, more than 95% of dieters regain the weight they lost within three years.

Even if you sincerely want to make positive changes in your life, success may elude you. Maybe you’re sabotaging yourself without realizing it. Maybe you’re skipping essential steps that would make your efforts pay off.

Find out what is holding you back from living the life you want. Take a look at three common obstacles to personal change and learn how to overcome them.

Living With Uncertainty

Clinging to what’s familiar can give you a sense of security. However, staying in your comfort zone may mean missing out on a more meaningful life.

Let go of judgments. Stop rushing to categorize people or events. Slow down and open up your mind to other viewpoints.
Clarify your vision. When you know what you’re trying to accomplish, it’s easier to make specific pans. Reflect on your goals and write them down.
Focus on gains. When you’re taking on a challenge, imagine the rewards as well as the possible pitfalls. Motivate yourself by thinking positive. Even if the outcomes aren’t what you had in mind, you can learn from the experience.
Start small. Begin with modest changes. Each victory will boost your confidence and abilities.

Gathering Resources

There are many simple and free things you can do to take care of yourself. On the other hand, you may have some goals that will require time, money, and other resources. Learn how to build your capacity.

Set priorities. Trying to change too many things at once can be overwhelming. Pick one or two top concerns and focus your efforts there.
Get organized. You can accomplish more when you have a system. Clear away mental and physical clutter. Invent routines that will save you time and money.
Revise your budget. Look for ways to cut spending and increase your income. Bring your lunch to work instead of eating at sandwich shops. Turn your hobby into a side income.
Seek information. Maybe you need additional knowledge and skills to make the changes you have in mind. Sign up for training at work or take a course online.
Ask for support. Having a strong network makes you more resilient. Ask your family and friends for the assistance you need.

Transforming Habits

Habits are powerful. Unless you examine your actions, you may wind up reacting to situations automatically instead of choosing the options that will make you happier and more productive.

Identify triggers. Maybe you’re trying to quit smoking, but you reach for a cigarette as soon as you pour your morning coffee. Figure out the triggers that distract you from your positive intentions.
Develop substitutions. Once you know the situations where you’re likely to lapse, you can craft alternative responses. Keep your hands busy with needlework or a video game instead of smoking a cigarette.
Practice mindfulness. Research shows that it often takes a couple of months for new habits to solidify. Plus, being consistent during the first few days of starting a new practice will increase your chances of success. Remind yourself that being patient and vigilant now will benefit you.

It’s important to embrace change if you want to grow. Once you understand what’s holding you back, you can come up with strategies that will help you reach your personal and professional goals.

Sometimes making daily affirmations can really help you to accomplish what you are going after. In order to help you to make changes, you can download an Affirmation PDF: “I Have the Power to Change” here.

If you want to learn even more about being successful, making changes that last and developing confidence in yourself, you can join the Facebook Group Developing Confidence in Yourself or You Are success Life Coach

To your success

Michael

Michael G. Wilkovesky

Feature Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

You Can Avoid Toxic People

2020-06-232020-06-23 ~ adminlife

You are going to run into people who are negative.
These people are toxic. They are the people that complain all the time and never offer any solutions as to how to make situations better. These are the people that put others down. They never have anything nice to say about others. They are not fun to be around, and they can bring your spirits down. They will even try to recruit you to their way of thinking.
Recognize when people are toxic.
There are several types of people that fall into the toxic category. One of the biggest types is the manipulator. What makes them the worst is that they make you seem like you are in the wrong. They get others to go against you. Other types include people who insult, gossipers, and people who love to sabotage everyone else, etc. There aren’t official definitions for toxic people. Therefore, it’s best to make judgment calls about the types of people.
When a person is toxic, this is different than just being annoying.
You may have a friend that has habits you aren’t fond of. Perhaps he or she talks too much, etc. This is not toxic behavior. Often, the annoying people aren’t nasty. They just have habits that you wish they would change. You can choose to spend less time with these people, but you don’t necessarily have to avoid them if they are good people deep down. If you feel these people with annoying habits are toxic to your well-being, you have the right to avoid them.
It’s important to trust your instincts about toxic people.
You will know who they are. Generally, when one of them is in your presence, you will become tense and defensive. People sometimes ignore these feelings, but they can help you keep away from the toxic people.
Don’t let people drag you into their toxic world.
Unfortunately, it’s easy to become negative. Toxic people love to recruit allies. It helps their cause. The trouble is you become one of them, and then people will try to avoid you at all costs. Therefore, you need to stay positive to counteract their ploys.
You shouldn’t try to change toxic people.
You run the risk of them becoming enemies. This will set you up as a target which makes it much more difficult to avoid these people.
Find people who will call you out when you are negative.
This concept is known as accountability partners. You can do the same for the partners when they become negative. You can find creative ways to penalize each other, i.e., putting money in jars, etc.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

1	2	3
Make a list of the types of people who are toxic. These include manipulators, mean-spirited, people who engage in gossip, etc. When people make you or others feel bad, put them in a toxic category. The purpose of this action is to identify these people to avoid them. Recall that toxic is not necessarily the same as annoying.	Use affirmations. Set up daily affirmations to use for yourself and be consistent when using them. By doing this, you can deflect toxic people when they try to recruit you into their twisted worlds. You will have a much easier time ignoring what they say. It will also help you to avoid them when you see them in the first place.	Start associating yourself with positive people. Join support groups or groups that are focused on positivity. Everyone has the same twenty-four hours. You get to choose how you spend them. The more you expose yourself to positive experiences, the less chance toxic people have to spend with you.

You may also find these books useful:

If you would like a PDF copy of these tips, you can request a copy here >> Avoiding Toxic People

How to Maintain Your Momentum

2020-05-172020-05-17 ~ adminlife

TOP TIPS

We all have goals and dreams that we want to achieve. Sometimes we find ourselves working towards them with energy and efficiency. For whatever reason, at some point, our momentum fails, and we can barely be bothered to do anything. If this sounds like you, then follow the tips below to maximize your momentum.

Celebrate Progress

Don’t be afraid to celebrate your progress towards your goals. Even if you haven’t reached your ultimate goal, you will have plenty of milestones along the way. Stopping to celebrate your victories along the way will help keep your momentum and motivation rolling.

Use a “Did It” List

ToDo lists are a great tool, but have you ever considered a “Did It” list? Simply jot down anytime you accomplish something. A glance at this list reminds you of what you have already accomplished, and that positive feeling will feed into your momentum.

Review Your Goals and Adjust

Setting goals is an important first step, but it is just the beginning. You should regularly check-in on your goals to monitor your progress. This step will keep your goals (and their desired outcomes) fresh in your mind.

Plan Your Days

If you want to keep your momentum rolling, try planning out each day. You can spend a little time each morning (or the night before) to figure out what you should focus on the following day. This planning will maintain your momentum because you will never have to sit and wonder, “what next?”

Keep a Journal

Journaling is a powerful tool that can help you across many areas of your life. When it comes to keeping your momentum, journaling your successes is a great way to ensure you stay motivated. A journal is also a great place to express negative emotions that might otherwise stall your momentum.

Create a Support System

Having (and maintaining) a positive support system is one of the best things you can do to keep your momentum going. Having people you can lean on in times of need, can help keep your momentum going through trying times. It also doesn’t hurt to have your own set of cheerleaders.

Learn from Mistakes & Failure

Nothing slows your momentum down like a big mistake, or worse yet, failure. You can mitigate the adverse effects of failure by reframing it. If you treat each mistake/failure as an opportunity to learn, they are less likely to slow you down. In fact, the lessons learned might just speed you up!.

Take One Small Simple Step

If your momentum has come to a standstill, the best way to get it back is to do something. Anything. Think of the smallest, most straightforward step you could take towards your goals and then take it. An avalanche often begins as a single snowflake.

Visualize The End Results

Visualization is a powerful tool that will help keep you motivated. By visualizing what your life would be like once you reach your goals, you boost your motivation and remind yourself what is essential. Taking time to do this daily will ensure that you keep your momentum going.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

1	2	3
Write down your ideal day. Don’t focus on a particular day where you just won the lottery or something. Think about how you want your normal day-to-day life to be. What is an average day in your ideal world?	Set a goal. If you don’t have any goals set, then you can’t build momentum towards them. If you already have goals, make sure you have them written out as precisely as possible. These goals should mesh well with your ideal day from the previous step.	Take a single small action. It doesn’t have to be anything significant, and honestly, for this task, it shouldn’t be. Choose one single step you can do right now to progress to your ideal life and take it!

Additional Resources

If you would like a PDF copy of “How to Maintain Your Momentum” you can request one Here!

How I Conquered Fear And You Can Too!

2020-02-182020-02-18 ~ adminlife

Getting out of your comfort zone for most is challenging, to say the least. It’s been my experience that the missing element is psychological. Too many times I’ve said to myself, ‘I don’t know HOW to do this’ and self sabotaged my brain into believing I could not do it. What I’ve come to know is this; it’s not the ‘how’ that is so important but rather the ‘why’ behind it! Get a big enough WHY and the HOW will follow!

It’s the old 80/20 rule – 80% is psychology and the remaining 20% is the mechanics. We all tend to get what we HAVE to have. It boils down to what YOU believe YOU MUST do and chose to not settle for anything less!! Turning your ‘should’s’ into ‘must’s’ and making the decision to move forward in spite of the fear.

Feel the fear and do it anyway! If you truly want to get the edge, you will need to get over your fear. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of whatever – it’s okay to make a mistake, just make sure you learn from it and avoid the same pit falls next time around.

Choose to live life on your own terms. The quality of life is the quality of your emotions on a daily basis. Control your emotions and take control of your destiny! Consider this, it’s not how long I live but rather, how I live! It’s not about your ability; it’s about why you must succeed!!

Two things to help you control your emotions, deal with your BODY and what you FOCUS on at any given moment.

1 – Body, the psychology that we are ‘in’ is driven by the physiology that we are ‘in’. Specifically, when we change our MOTION we change our EMOTION and therefore experience a change of ‘state’. It’s these ‘states’ (or emotions), that will determine our action towards any given target.

2 – Focus, what you focus on and moreover, ‘how’ you focus, plays a vital roll in your achievements (or lack thereof). We must remember, what’s wrong is always available to us but so is, what’s right! Understand that ‘problems’ are a sign of life. Want to see someone who doesn’t have any more problems? Drop by your nearest cemetery, they’re done! No more problems – and no more life!! Direct your focus, whatever you focus on you moves you towards that object or experience. There isn’t a ‘try’ – only do or not do!

I’ve noticed several things about myself that I can’t help but believe others must share in similar experiences or situations. The difference for me now, is how I choose to ‘control’ or ‘focus’ myself as situations arise. This is a broad range of things from attending a party and ‘experiencing’ my emotions, to simply taking a shower and getting ready for the day. It’s truly how I manage my ‘state’ during the situation that defines my experience!

To be more clear, it’s what I choose to focus on while showering or while at the party. If while showering I’m having thoughts of – oh no, it’s Monday again, I hate the first day of each workweek! I hate Monday’s!! I wish I could just stay home and sleep in. I have to fight the stinking traffic everyday. I wish I had another car, a bigger more fancy car.

On and on it goes and before you finish your morning shower – presto, you’re in a bad mood and ready to bite your partners head off! You’re having emotions of agitation and experiencing anxiety about going to work, all before you even get dressed to go.

I suggest and submit to you it all begins with your THOUGHTS. It’s these thoughts that begin to effect our emotions (or states) and once we LEARN how to control them, we then have a much more powerful position that will determine our actions.

Use MOTION to create EMOTION and control your results. Back to the shower scene – sing, shout, clap your hands, pretend the soap bottle (or bar) is your microphone, move briskly, breath deeply and think about good things. (Remember, you get to choose what you think about – it’s your personal power)! Wouldn’t you rather get dressed feeling good about the day ahead of you, as opposed to dreading the very next moment? Sure you would, and you get to pick your experience. It may take some practice or ‘conditioning’ on your part but it will become a ‘habit’ once you focus on training your brain and body to do so.

You can control your fear and use it as leverage to compel you towards your goals. It the courage behind the fear that builds the faith within us that makes us stronger. Esteem comes from forcing yourself to do difficult things. Therefore, causing us to broaden our comfort zones while strengthening our faith.

Can you see faith? I submit to you, we are able to see the evidence of faith. No one has ever seen the wind but it evidence is everywhere to be seen. Faith unused wanes!

The Success Brain Course

As we are all trying to be more successful in our lives, both personal and business, we need to have a success mindset. It is hard to be successful when your own self-talk is against you and your mind is not aligned with your goals.

If you want to be more successful and live the life you deserve, then you need to have a Success Brain.

While this may sound easy, unless you know what you need to accomplish, you could end up wasting your time and energy.

This course “The Success Brain” can help you to understand those areas of your own mind that are holding you back while helping you to develop a truly success brain and mindset that will guide you in your life to really become more successful.