How to Use Your Ego for Good

2025-04-14 ~ adminlife

Is having an ego good or bad? It’s a simple question with a complicated answer.

The ego gets a bad rap — think arrogance, selfishness or the need to dominate. But ego isn’t inherently bad. Like most things, it depends on how it’s used and managed.

Ego is part of your identity. It drives ambition, fuels confidence and helps you assert yourself. But it can also distort reality, block growth and hurt relationships if left unchecked.

Let’s unpack what ego really is, where it helps, where it hurts and how to keep it in balance so it serves you instead of running the show.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

What Is Ego, Really?

At its core, your ego is your self-image — how you see yourself and how you want others to see you. It’s tied to your sense of worth, your identity and your desire to feel important or validated.

Everyone has an ego. It’s what makes you push for that promotion, speak up in a meeting or take pride in a job well done. But when ego becomes inflated or fragile, problems arise.

When Ego Works in Your Favour

Let’s start with the upside. A healthy, confident ego can be a powerful tool for achievement and resilience. Here’s how:

1. Ego Can Drive Big Success

People with strong egos often set massive goals and go after them hard. They want to prove something — to themselves and the world. That kind of internal fire has fuelled world leaders, CEOs, athletes and entrepreneurs.

When you believe you’re capable of extraordinary things, you’re more likely to pursue them. Ego can help you push through resistance, rise above competition and demand more from yourself.

2. Ego Helps Overcome Obstacles

A big ego can convince you that you’re unstoppable. It may sound delusional, but in tough situations, that mindset can actually be helpful. If you believe in your ability to power through, you’re less likely to give up when things get hard.

Confidence — even if slightly inflated — can be a serious asset when you’re under pressure.

3. Ego Supports Self-Belief

Confidence is often rooted in ego. You need some belief in yourself to step up, take risks and assert your value. If your ego is reasonably healthy, it acts like a built-in support system: “I can do this. I’ve got what it takes.”

This can help you perform better, handle criticism more constructively, and stay grounded in your goals.

The Dark Side of Ego

Of course, ego can also derail you. When it becomes too big or too fragile, it starts working against you.

1. Craving External Validation

Some egos feed entirely on other people’s opinions. If you’re obsessed with being liked, praised or admired, your ego will never be satisfied. It turns into a bottomless pit of need.

The problem? You’re outsourcing your self-worth. You chase approval instead of doing what’s right for you. And when the praise stops, your confidence crashes.

2. Never Feeling Fulfilled

The ego always wants more. More attention. More power. More followers. More wins. No matter what you accomplish, it’s not enough. This leads to chronic dissatisfaction — even when you’re objectively successful.

If you tie your happiness to feeding your ego, you’ll always feel like something’s missing.

3. Hurting Relationships

When ego takes over, people become tools to serve your goals instead of individuals to connect with. You stop listening, stop empathizing and start dominating.

This can damage friendships, romantic relationships and workplace dynamics. People avoid egotistical individuals because they feel used, unseen or disrespected.

4. Blinding You to Reality

A bloated ego distorts your view of yourself and the world. You stop recognizing your weaknesses or mistakes. Feedback feels like an attack, and you dismiss anything that doesn’t confirm your greatness.

This not only stalls growth — it sets you up for big crashes when reality doesn’t match your inflated self-image.

5. Avoiding Failure at All Costs

Ironically, the ego that believes it’s untouchable is often terrified of failure. Because failure feels like ego death. It threatens the image you’ve built of yourself.

This fear can hold you back from trying new things, taking risks or admitting when you’re struggling. You play it safe to protect your ego — at the cost of growth.

Signs Your Ego Might Be Running the Show

You take things personally — even small critiques.
You constantly compare yourself to others.
You feel threatened by other people’s success.
You have to “win” every conversation or argument.
You need recognition to feel valuable.
You resist asking for help, even when you need it.

These are indicators that your ego might be taking up too much space in your head — and getting in the way of your well-being.

The Middle Path: Confident, Not Conceited

The goal isn’t to destroy your ego. You need it. But you need it in balance.

A healthy ego looks like this:

You believe in your abilities — but stay open to learning.
You take pride in your work — but don’t need constant validation.
You’re confident — but don’t need to prove your worth.
You know your value — but still value others.

This kind of ego leads to quiet confidence, resilience and inner peace.

How to Keep Your Ego in Check

1. Practice Self-Awareness

Catch yourself in ego-driven behaviour. Are you arguing to be right, or to be helpful? Are you chasing status, or purpose? Are you being honest, or protecting your image?

Reflect often and get curious about your motives.

2. Take Feedback Seriously, Not Personally

Feedback isn’t an attack — it’s a tool. Use it. Even if it stings, look for the truth in it and grow from it. Your ego doesn’t like discomfort, but your future self will thank you for facing it.

3. Learn from Failure

Don’t let your ego avoid failure. Let it learn from it. Failure doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It means you’re human, trying and learning. Keep going.

4. Celebrate Wins Without Overinflating

Enjoy your accomplishments. Own your success. But don’t let them define you. You are more than your wins. Celebrate, then keep it moving.

5. Serve, Don’t Just Shine

True confidence isn’t about standing above others — it’s about lifting others up. Use your strengths to help, not just to shine. This keeps your ego grounded in purpose.

Final Thought

Your ego is not your enemy. It’s a tool — and like any tool, it can help or hurt, depending on how you use it.

A healthy ego gives you strength, clarity and drive. An unchecked ego creates blind spots, insecurity and isolation.

The key is balance. Be proud, but stay humble. Be confident, but stay open. Let your ego push you to grow — but don’t let it make the world all about you.

Your best self isn’t ego-less. It’s ego-aware. And that awareness is what turns potential into real power.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

Photo by Shutter Speed on Unsplash

How Fear of Success Silently Sabotages You

2025-04-122025-04-12 ~ adminlife

Most of us recognize the fear of failure. It’s the voice in your head that says, “What if I fall flat?” But what about the fear of success? It sounds counterintuitive — why would anyone be afraid of achieving what they’ve worked so hard for?

And yet, this fear is surprisingly common. People sabotage themselves, delay progress or stay stuck in the same place — not because they’re afraid to fail, but because they’re afraid to succeed.

Let’s break down what the fear of success really is, what it looks like in everyday life, and how to start moving past it.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

What Is the Fear of Success?

The fear of success is a subconscious resistance to achieving your goals. On the surface, you might want to be promoted, launch that business, lose the weight or become financially secure. But underneath, something pulls you back.

It’s not because you think you’ll fail. It’s because you’re worried about what will happen if you succeed.

Why Would Anyone Fear Success?

Success isn’t just the reward — it’s also responsibility, change and visibility. That can feel like a lot to take on, especially if you’re used to flying under the radar or staying in your comfort zone.

Here are some real reasons people fear success:

1. Success Demands Growth

Success doesn’t come from doing what you’ve always done. It asks more of you — more discipline, more focus, more risk. That threatens your comfort zone, and the brain doesn’t like that.

Your brain is wired to keep you safe. And “safe” often looks like “the same.” So even if a goal is exciting, your default response might be to slow down or back off as soon as things start to get real.

2. Success Brings Attention You May Not Want

With success comes visibility. You go from private to public. People notice you more, talk about you more and some will ask for things — money, time, advice, favours.

If you’re someone who avoids the spotlight or values your privacy, this new exposure can feel intrusive. The fear here isn’t about the success itself, but what it brings: expectations, attention and pressure to perform.

3. The Unknown Is Uncomfortable

Let’s say you’re used to living paycheck to paycheck. It’s not ideal, but it’s familiar. You know the drill. Now imagine making six figures, moving to a new neighbourhood or managing a team. Suddenly, you’re navigating unknown territory — and that can be scary.

The fear of the unknown can keep people stuck in familiar, unsatisfying situations because the thought of changing everything is overwhelming.

4. You Worry About Losing Yourself

You might have internalized the idea that success changes people — for the worse. Maybe you’ve seen someone who “made it” and became arrogant, selfish or fake. If you associate success with negative personal changes, it makes sense you’d avoid it.

But the truth is, success doesn’t have to make you someone you’re not. In fact, it can give you more freedom to be your authentic self — if you let it.

5. You’re Afraid It Won’t Be Worth It

You’ve probably experienced letdowns. That vacation you planned for months? Meh. The new phone you were so hyped about? Underwhelming.

The fear that success might not feel as great as you imagine can keep you from pursuing it at all. “What if I do all this work and still feel empty?” It’s a valid fear — but it’s also a mindset you can shift.

6. Criticism Comes With the Territory

Successful people attract critics. The more visible you are, the more opinions you’ll draw. Some people won’t like you just because you’ve achieved something they haven’t.

If you’ve been taught to fear judgment or if you’ve been hurt by criticism before, this can be a serious block. The key is understanding that criticism isn’t about you — it’s about them. And you don’t need to take it personally.

7. You Fear Becoming Unlikable

There’s a cultural narrative that successful people are selfish, greedy or egotistical. If you hold that belief, you may avoid success because you don’t want to become “that person” — even if it’s unconscious.

But success doesn’t turn you into someone else. It gives you more choices. If you’re generous and kind now, you can be even more so with greater resources.

Signs You Might Be Afraid of Success

You procrastinate when things are going well.
You downplay your accomplishments or fear talking about them.
You feel guilty when you do better than people around you.
You start strong but lose momentum just as you get close to your goal.
You self-sabotage — missing deadlines, skipping interviews, ghosting opportunities.

These are clues that something deeper is going on. And it’s not laziness — it’s fear in disguise.

How to Overcome the Fear of Success

1. Identify the Root Fear

Ask yourself: What am I really afraid will happen if I succeed?

Be honest. Are you scared people will leave? That you’ll change? That you’ll still feel empty? Naming the fear is the first step to managing it.

2. Redefine What Success Means

Success doesn’t have to be flashy or stressful. You get to decide what it looks like for you — balance, peace, impact, income, growth. Clarify your version of success so it feels aligned, not threatening.

3. Challenge the Beliefs Holding You Back

If you believe success ruins people, look for examples of those who became more generous, more grounded, more fulfilled. What you look for, you’ll find.

4. Start With Small Wins

You don’t have to leap into the deep end. Build trust with yourself by achieving small goals consistently. Over time, your brain will stop seeing success as danger.

5. Practice Being Seen

Share your wins with people you trust. Learn to sit with the discomfort of attention until it becomes more normal. Being seen doesn’t have to mean being judged.

6. Get Support

A coach, mentor, or therapist can help you unpack fears and rewire your mindset. You don’t have to do this alone.

Final Thought

The fear of success is sneaky. It looks like hesitation, procrastination or staying small — but at its core, it’s just fear of change. Once you understand what’s really holding you back, you can move through it.

You deserve the version of success that feels good to you. Not someone else’s definition — yours. Don’t let fear keep you from finding out what that looks like.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Nicholas Sampson on Unsplash

Five Confidence Habits That Actually Work

2025-04-11 ~ adminlife

Confidence isn’t just a personality trait — it’s a tool for life. When you have it, you make better decisions, handle stress more effectively, take risks and bounce back from setbacks faster. When you lack it, everything feels harder than it should.

If your confidence has taken a hit lately, you’re not alone. Life can throw curveballs that leave even the most grounded people second-guessing themselves. The good news? Confidence isn’t fixed. It’s something you can rebuild — with the right habits.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

This article breaks down five practical, proven habits you can adopt today to boost your confidence and start feeling better about yourself and your life.

1. Be Kind to Yourself—Always

This one sounds simple, but it’s often the hardest.

When you’re feeling low, your inner voice tends to turn harsh. “I’m not good enough.” “I always mess things up.” “No one wants to hear what I have to say.” These thoughts are common — but they’re also destructive.

Here’s how to flip that script:

Catch negative self-talk early. The moment you notice it, pause. Would you say that to someone you care about? If not, don’t say it to yourself.
Replace criticism with encouragement. Try, “I’m doing the best I can,” or “It’s okay to mess up — everyone does.”
Focus on progress, not perfection. You don’t need to be flawless to be worthy. You just need to show up and keep going.

Being kind to yourself isn’t about ignoring mistakes. It’s about not turning them into proof that you’re not enough.

2. Make Time for Real Self-Care

Confidence is easier when your mind and body are in sync. If you’re constantly exhausted, stressed and running on empty, it’s nearly impossible to feel strong or optimistic.

So make self-care a non-negotiable. That means:

Getting enough sleep so your brain and body can recover.
Moving your body in ways that feel good, whether that’s walking, dancing or lifting weights.
Eating foods that keep your energy stable instead of crashing.
Doing something every day that’s just for you. This could be reading, taking a bath, journaling or spending time with someone who lifts you up.

Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or time-consuming. It just has to be intentional.

3. Cut the Negativity — In Thoughts and People

One of the fastest ways to drain your confidence? Surround yourself with toxic people or let your own thoughts spiral unchecked.

Start by taking inventory:

Who in your life makes you feel small, anxious, or judged?
What patterns of thought keep showing up when you’re down?

You don’t have to cut everyone out or silence your mind completely — but you do need to protect your energy.

Here’s how to set the tone:

Limit time with people who bring you down. You don’t owe everyone access to your time or attention.
Challenge negative thoughts with curiosity. Ask, “Is this actually true? Or is it just fear talking?”
Practice reframing. If someone criticizes you, shift the focus from “I must be a failure” to “What does this say about them?”

Confidence isn’t about ignoring negativity. It’s about refusing to absorb it as your truth.

4. Focus on What You Can Control

When life feels chaotic, it’s tempting to throw up your hands and give up. But not everything is out of your hands — and focusing on what you can control can restore your sense of agency and confidence.

Try this exercise:

List everything that’s bothering you right now. Don’t filter — just get it all out.
Go through your list and cross off anything you truly can’t control. Other people’s opinions, the past, the weather — out of your hands.
Focus on what’s left. Ask yourself, “What small action can I take to change or improve this?”

It could be as simple as sending an email, cleaning your space or setting a boundary. The point is to act — even in small ways.

Action leads to momentum. Momentum builds confidence.

5. Present Yourself Like You Mean It

How you present yourself affects how you feel. That doesn’t mean you need to look like a model — but it does mean showing up in a way that makes you feel pulled together, powerful and present.

Simple ways to boost your visual confidence:

Find clothes that make you feel good. Not trendy — just you.
Take pride in your grooming. A fresh haircut, clean nails or a touch of makeup can go a long way.
Smile at yourself in the mirror. Not because it changes your looks — but because it changes your attitude.

When you look in the mirror and like what you see, you stand taller. You speak clearer. You believe, even just a little more, in your value.

Confidence Is a Habit, Not a Trait

Confidence isn’t a switch you flip. It’s something you practice. Some days it’ll come easily. Other days you’ll have to work for it. But the more you choose habits that support your self-worth, the more naturally confident you become.

Be kind to yourself when you stumble.
Take care of your physical and emotional needs.
Create boundaries around negative energy.
Take responsibility for what you can do.
And show up each day like someone who deserves to be seen.

You don’t need to become a different person to feel confident. You just need to reconnect with who you already are — and treat that person like they matter.

Because they do.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Luis Andrés Villalón Vega on Unsplash

Why Living in the Present Matters

2025-04-08 ~ adminlife

In today’s fast-paced world, the mind is constantly pulled in multiple directions — dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. While reflection and planning are necessary, being stuck in past regrets or future anxieties robs you of the peace and joy found in the present moment.

Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life.

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program.

Mindfulness, or present moment awareness, allows you to experience life as it unfolds. It reduces stress, improves focus and enhances overall well-being. But staying in the present isn’t always easy. The mind naturally drifts, and mastering mindfulness takes time and effort. However, with consistent practice, you can train your brain to stay engaged in the now.

The Challenge of Staying Present

If you’ve ever tried to focus solely on the present moment, you’ve likely noticed how difficult it can be. Your thoughts wander — to past conversations, future tasks or random worries. This is normal. The mind resists stillness, preferring to jump between thoughts.

The key to success is to acknowledge these distractions without frustration. Instead of being discouraged when your mind wanders, see it as an opportunity to bring your focus back to the present.

Practical Ways to Stay in the Present Moment

1. Meditation: Your Foundation for Mindfulness

Meditation is one of the most powerful tools for developing present moment awareness. It trains the brain to stay focused and teaches you to observe thoughts without getting lost in them.

Start small: Begin with 5–10 minutes of meditation daily.
Find a quiet space: Sit comfortably, close your eyes and focus on your breath.
Let go of distractions: When your mind wanders, gently return your focus to your breathing.

Over time, meditation strengthens your ability to stay present, helping you carry mindfulness into everyday life.

2. Making Time for Yourself

One of the biggest obstacles to mindfulness is not prioritizing yourself. Many people feel guilty about taking personal time, but making space for mindfulness is essential for mental clarity and overall well-being.

Schedule mindfulness practice: Set aside time each day for meditation, deep breathing or simply sitting in stillness.
Say no to distractions: Resist the urge to check emails, do chores, or engage in other tasks when you’ve committed to your mindfulness routine.

By treating present moment awareness as a non-negotiable part of your routine, you create a habit that strengthens over time.

3. Practicing Mindfulness in Daily Activities

You don’t need to sit in meditation to practice being present. Everyday activities offer countless opportunities to anchor yourself in the now.

Brushing your teeth: Focus on the sensation of the toothbrush against your teeth, the taste of the toothpaste and the rhythm of your brushing.
Drinking coffee or tea: Instead of mindlessly sipping, pay attention to the warmth of the cup, the aroma and the flavour.
Walking: Notice the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, the movement of your legs and the sounds around you.

These small moments of mindfulness add up, training your brain to stay engaged rather than distracted.

4. Using Breath as an Anchor

Your breath is always with you, making it a perfect tool to bring yourself back to the present. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or lost in thought, take a deep breath and focus on the inhale and exhale.

Try this simple exercise:

Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for four counts.
Repeat a few times, paying close attention to each breath.

This technique grounds you in the present moment and calms the nervous system, reducing stress and anxiety.

5. Letting Go of Past and Future Worries

While reflecting on the past and planning for the future are important, dwelling too much on either robs you of the present.

Learn from the past, but don’t live in it: Acknowledge past experiences, take lessons from them and move forward.
Plan for the future, but don’t obsess over it: Set goals and prepare for what’s ahead, but avoid excessive worry about things beyond your control.

When you catch yourself ruminating on the past or stressing over the future, gently redirect your attention to what’s happening right now.

6. Engaging Fully in Conversations

One of the greatest gifts you can give others is your full attention. Being present in conversations not only strengthens relationships but also improves your listening skills.

Put away your phone and make eye contact.
Listen actively rather than thinking about what you’ll say next.
Notice the speaker’s tone, expressions and emotions.

When you’re fully engaged in a conversation, you connect more deeply and build stronger relationships.

7. Accepting the Present as It Is

Not every moment is perfect. Some are joyful, while others are challenging. Mindfulness doesn’t mean forcing positivity — it means accepting each moment as it comes.

Instead of resisting discomfort, observe it without judgment.
Recognize that thoughts and emotions come and go like waves in the ocean.
Trust that whatever happens, you have the ability to handle it.

By accepting the present moment, you free yourself from unnecessary suffering and find peace in what is.

Final Thoughts

Staying present is a skill that takes practice, but the rewards are life-changing. When you make mindfulness a priority, you’ll experience less stress, improved focus and deeper connections with yourself and others.

Instead of letting life pass by in a blur of distractions, slow down, breathe and be here now. Your best life is happening in this very moment — embrace it.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.S. You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life.

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

P.P.P.P.S. If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

Photo by Ezgi Deliklitas on Unsplash

Seven Powerful Ways to Boost Self-Esteem

2025-04-05 ~ adminlife

Self-esteem plays a crucial role in shaping our happiness, success and overall well-being. When our self-esteem is low, we become more susceptible to self-doubt, anxiety and even depression. On the other hand, when we cultivate a strong sense of self-worth, we are more confident in our abilities, more resilient in the face of challenges and more open to opportunities.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

Many people recognize the importance of self-esteem but struggle with how to improve it. Fortunately, self-esteem is not something we are simply born with — it can be developed and strengthened with the right mindset and habits. In this article, we explore seven powerful ways to boost self-esteem and create a healthier, more positive self-image.

1. Play to Your Strengths

One of the best ways to improve self-esteem is to focus on your strengths rather than dwelling on perceived weaknesses. Too often, we define ourselves by what we lack — whether it’s a certain body type, a specific career or financial stability. However, these external factors do not define who we truly are.

How to Identify and Leverage Your Strengths:

Make a List of Your Strengths: Write down all your talents, skills and positive qualities. If you’re struggling, ask trusted friends or family members for their perspective.
Recognize What Makes You Unique: What sets you apart? Are you compassionate, creative or a great problem solver? Embrace these qualities and use them to your advantage.
Engage in Activities That Make You Feel Strong: Do things that highlight your abilities, whether it’s mentoring someone, painting, writing or excelling in a sport.

By shifting your focus from what you lack to what you excel at, you build confidence and reinforce your self-worth.

2. Lay Down Your Burdens

Negative thoughts and worries can consume us, making our problems feel larger than they really are. Holding onto self-doubt and insecurities prevents us from moving forward.

How to Release Negativity:

Write It Down: Spend a few minutes each day writing out your worries, fears or self-critical thoughts. Once they’re on paper, they often lose their grip on your mind.
Let It Go: Imagine placing your burdens into a box and setting them aside. This mental exercise can help create emotional distance from negative thoughts.
Challenge Negative Beliefs: Ask yourself if these thoughts are facts or just assumptions. Often, self-doubt is rooted in unfounded fears.

Practising these techniques regularly will help you free yourself from unnecessary emotional weight and make room for positive self-beliefs.

3. Be True to Yourself

Many people struggle with self-esteem because they try to live up to the expectations of others rather than pursuing what truly makes them happy. Whether it’s societal pressures, family expectations or the opinions of friends, allowing others to dictate your path can lead to frustration and self-doubt.

How to Stay True to Your Own Goals:

Define Your Own Success: What do you really want in life? Base your goals on your passions and interests, not what others think is best for you.
Set Personal Goals: Instead of following someone else’s dream, pursue what excites you. When you achieve personal milestones, your confidence will grow.
Trust Your Instincts: You are the best judge of your own happiness. Make choices based on your values and desires, not external pressures.

By being authentic and aligning your life with your true self, you will build genuine self-esteem rather than seeking validation from others.

4. Become a Positive Person

The way we think and speak about ourselves and others has a profound impact on our self-esteem. Negative thoughts and words reinforce low self-worth, while positive reinforcement strengthens confidence.

How to Cultivate Positivity:

Practice Gratitude: Focus on what’s going well in your life rather than what’s lacking.
Pass on Compliments: If you hear something positive about someone, share it with them. Lifting others up creates a cycle of positivity that benefits both parties.
Speak Kindly About Yourself: Instead of criticizing yourself, practice affirmations such as “I am capable,” “I am worthy,” and “I deserve happiness.”

When you focus on the positive, you naturally develop a healthier self-image.

5. Take Risks and Try New Things

Confidence grows when we step outside our comfort zone. The more we challenge ourselves, the more we realize what we are capable of.

How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:

Learn a New Skill: Take up a hobby, enrol in a class or try something unfamiliar. Every new skill strengthens self-confidence.
Face Your Fears: If you’re afraid of public speaking, practice in front of a small group. If you fear rejection, start small by initiating conversations.
Celebrate Every Effort: Even if you don’t succeed on the first try, recognize that taking action is an accomplishment in itself.

Risk-taking fosters resilience, and with each new challenge, self-esteem naturally grows.

6. Discount Negative Influences

Many of our negative self-perceptions come from external influences — society, the media or even people close to us. It’s crucial to filter out negativity and focus on sources that uplift and empower.

How to Protect Your Self-Esteem from Negativity:

Be Selective About Your Social Circle: Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who encourage your growth.
Limit Exposure to Harmful Media: Advertisements and social media often promote unrealistic ideals. Remember that these images are often curated and edited.
Reject Harmful Opinions: Just because someone says something negative about you doesn’t make it true. Base your self-worth on your own beliefs, not others’ judgments.

Taking control of what influences you can significantly improve your self-esteem and mental well-being.

7. Take Small Steps Toward Growth

Improving self-esteem is a process, and small achievements can lead to big transformations. Each step forward reinforces a sense of competence and confidence.

How to Build Self-Esteem Gradually:

Set Small, Achievable Goals: Instead of overwhelming yourself with big changes, focus on small wins.
Acknowledge Progress: Even minor improvements are worth celebrating.
Be Patient with Yourself: Growth takes time. Keep moving forward, even if progress feels slow.

By consistently taking small steps, you create a strong foundation for lasting self-esteem.

Conclusion

Self-esteem is not built overnight, but with consistent effort and the right mindset, it can be improved. By focusing on your strengths, letting go of negativity, being true to yourself, fostering positivity, taking risks, filtering out negative influences and making gradual progress, you can develop unshakable self-worth.

Start applying these seven strategies today, and watch your confidence and happiness grow.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Shiromani Kant on Unsplash