Do Your Goals Support Your Values?

2021-01-04 ~ adminlife

If you’re struggling to be as successful as you’d like to be, there’s a great chance that a discrepancy exists between your goals and your values. If our goals are antithetical to our values, success is all but impossible. We don’t like to behave in ways that are counter to our values. If a mismatch exists, something has to give.

If you’re forever coming up short when it comes to achieving your dreams, your values might be at odds with your goals.

Use these techniques to set goals that support your values:

List your current values. Have you ever taken the time to examine your values? Most people have never given their values a second thought. This is a shame, because a person’s values guide their thinking, decisions, and actions.
- Take 30 minutes and list your values. Put them in order of their priority to you.
- Ask yourself if your behaviour is aligned with your values. If there’s a mismatch, what set of values would actually represent your behaviour?
- Most of us have an idealized impression of our intentions, values, and qualities.

What are you trying to accomplish? What are your goals in life? What do you want to accomplish? Do you want to be wealthy? Get a six-pack? Write a screenplay? Save the whales? Build a real estate empire? The first step to any great success is to identify your objectives.
How do your current values impact your goals? If your values and goals don’t match, the odds of success are dismal without something changing.

- For example, if you believe that wealthy people are fundamentally bad, you’ll never accumulate a significant amount of wealth.
- If comfort is a high priority for you, that six-pack will never materialize.
- Do you value having a lot of leisure time? A goal that requires a lot of work isn’t going to happen.
- Look at your goals and look at your values. Do your goals support those values? Do your values support your goals?

What would be the perfect set of values to support your goals? Imagine you could build a person from scratch that would be perfect for accomplishing your goals. What values and qualities would they possess? How would you be different if you had these values?

- Think about the people you know that have accomplished what you want to accomplish. How would you describe them?

How close can you come to matching those values? How well can you rearrange your values to match that ideal set of values? The closer you’re able to come, the greater the odds of your success.
Reinforce the values that matter. Imagine that your goal is to save $20,000 for a down payment on a home. Let’s suppose that you’ve determined that you need to be someone that values saving money over spending. How can you build this value in yourself and make it a part of you?

- Prove to yourself that you’re that type of person: For example, pick up pennies you find on the ground and save them. Cut coupons. Find new ways of dealing with stress other than shopping. Save part of your income as soon as your paycheck hits your bank account.
- When you keep proving to yourself over and over again that you possess a value, those actions will build and reinforce that value.

Are your goals and values a good match? It’s important that they are. When a mismatch exists, it’s important to either alter your values or your goals. There’s only so much resistance a person can overcome. Success is much easier when your values and your intentions are highly compatible.

To your success

Michael

P.S. If you are looking for more information on confidence and motivation you can join my Facebook groups Developing Confidence in Yourself or Confidence Coaching. For success articles you can join You Are Success Life Coach.

These groups will enable you to learn more about all aspects of confidence, motivation and success.

You can also contact me at michael@coachmichaelw.com to arrange a discovery session to Determine Your Primary Life Goal or to discover your Limiting Beliefs that can help to make your life more successful.

Feature Photo by icon0.com from Pexels

How to Present an Authentic Image That Works for You

2019-01-262019-01-26 ~ adminlife

Do you walk your talk? Is the image you portray to the world in line with the real you? Does your image work for you? People make assumptions about you based on your appearance, attitude, and the words you choose.

Do you talk about homeless children or your drinking exploits? Do you look like a stockbroker, a plumber, or a rap star?

Present yourself in a way that depicts your values. It’s disconcerting to people when they can’t quite figure you out.

“This guy wants me invest my money with him, but he looks like he works in a factory.”
“She says she’s all about helping the poor and the homeless, but she drives a $100,000 car and constantly talks about her extravagant spending habits.”

Maybe you have a friend that claims he’s an adventurous risk-taker, but has been stuck in the same low-paying job that he can’t stand for the last 10 years.

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When the image you present to the world clearly isn’t accurate, it raises a lot of red flags, and others won’t trust you. When your image doesn’t fit the situation, it also causes concern.

What does the image you present say about you?

Be realistic regarding the situation. If you’re going to a job interview, it’s not really the right time to wear your ripped jeans or to curse like a sailor. That might be the image that makes you the most comfortable, but it’s creating challenges for you in certain situations.
- The right clothing, vocabulary, and attitude will vary with the situation. You don’t want to be viewed as a constantly changing chameleon, but there are things that just won’t work in certain situations.
- Consider the image that will work for you in a given situation and make the necessary adjustments. A certain image may be accurate, but that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate 24/7.
Know what matters to you. Your values are an important part of developing the image you present to the world. Are freedom and rejecting social norms part of your value system? Adventure? Money? Helping others?
Understand what it means when your true-self and your image are incongruent. It means that you’re trying to present yourself as something you’re not. You’re not happy with your reality, so you’re pretending to be something else.
Think about the image you want to present at work. Are you the creative guy with unique solutions? Or are you the dead-serious woman that meets every deadline, even if she has to work 12 hours on Saturday? What image will work in your work environment? Can you still look at yourself in the mirror each morning with that image?
Think about the image you want to present outside of work. Can people figure out who you are within 10 minutes of meeting you? Do you like the way the world views you? Does it work for you? Is it an accurate depiction of you?

Find the middle ground. You might be a casual person, but that doesn’t mean you can wear gym shorts and sneakers everywhere. There are other ways to present yourself as someone that isn’t stuffy and overly formal. Be honest about who you are, but don’t shoot yourself in the foot in the process.

When your true-self and your image match, it puts people at ease. You’re more likeable when you’re congruent. Think about the most likeable people you know. You know exactly who they are within a short time.

Think about how you present yourself to the world. Are you making your life easier or more challenging?

To your success

Michael W

P.S. If you are looking for a confidence program that can help you with your self development. Send me an email at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to request a copy of my “Maximum Confidence Transformation Package”. Afterwards we can arrange a discovery telephone call to discuss the package and how you can benefit further from developing your confidence level.

Feature photo used under CCO and available at https://pixabay.com/en/identity-self-refection-reflecting-795864/

What Are the Benefits of a Positive Self-Image?

2019-01-132019-01-13 ~ adminlife

With all the negativity that exists in the world, it’s difficult to imagine any other way to be. But the benefits of having a positive self-image are numerous. Following are some of the major benefits.

Get More Done

When you have a positive outlook, you are more likely to find ways that work rather than look for reasons why they won’t. If something doesn’t work the way you wanted, you have the right attitude to try something else without getting discouraged. If you eventually get a little down, it won’t last because of your positive attitude.

Get More Out of Others

Did you ever notice people who maintain a positive attitude? They likely have no trouble getting others to participate and are typically the leaders of a group. This is for good reason. It’s because they are approachable and will help you find ways to solve problems. And they do this without any complaints. There will be a few negative people but most of the group will be on board and helpful.

It’s Better for your Health

Positive thinkers are less stressed out, all things being equal. Even if they come across stressful situations, their attitude will get them through it much quicker than those that insist on being negative. When there is less stress in your life, you will naturally be healthier than those who are constantly stressed out.

You Will Be a More Pleasant Person

People gravitate towards positive people, even if it is on a subconscious level. It simply feels better to speak to people who continuously are positive. You gain more friends and they tend to be lasting relationships. Negative people may still develop friendships but they usually won’t last as more people realize they are a drag to be with.

You Tend to Be More Satisfied

When you solve more problems by being positive, you are likely to get more done which will get you noticed by others. This is satisfying as more will jump on board to people who show they get things done. In many instances, this can lead to more promotions which usually includes higher salaries. Yet, your positive attitude will show others that this is not your true motivation.

With all the benefits associated with having a positive attitude, the right course of action should always be to strive to become more positive. It takes practice and won’t happen overnight but is well worth pursuing.

To your success

Michael W

Feature photo used under CCO and available at https://pixabay.com/en/businesswoman-organization-chart-2636735/

Make Changes To Your Life – Reinvent Yourself

2016-10-112016-10-10 ~ adminlife

The Re-Invention of You

If you’ve ever wanted to alter some things about yourself, maybe now is the time to consider it. We see it in the entertainment industry all the time: an entertainer used to look a certain way and behave a certain way in public or while performing. Then, one day, you see them on TV and wow, what a difference!

The entertainer’s hair is changed, her style of clothing isn’t even similar to what she used to wear, and she may even relate to people in a completely novel manner. She has completely re-invented herself!

You, too, can make such changes and step out in a whole new you!

Follow these steps to bring out your transformation:

What’s on your fantasy list of changes you want to make? Let your thoughts and ideas flow and jot them down. What would you change about yourself if you had the power?

Focus on the top 3 things you wish to change. For the best success, direct your energy to no more than a few things at a time. Circle the top 3 things you want to work on.

To illustrate, maybe you want to change your hair color and style, reduce your weight by 15 pounds, and wear a more classic style of clothing.
Perhaps you want to work out to build muscle, discover a new relationship, and develop a deeper interest in your career.

Ponder the reasons you wish to make these changes. Delve deep within yourself to consider why making these changes are important to you. Were you bullied in high school and don’t feel very positive about yourself? Do you believe you can move closer toward the type of life you want if you make the desired changes?

Perhaps you think you’ll be happier or more successful when you take steps to become the person you want to be. Giving some thought to the reasons you want to change these aspects of yourself will help you recognize where you want to be heading in life.

Design a brief plan for each area you want to alter. Using some of the examples in #2, getting a different hair color and cut is as simple as setting an appointment and going to the hairdresser. Losing the weight will take a bit more thought and effort. What will you do to get started on your plan now?

You might cut out sodas and fattening desserts and have breakfasts of yogurt and fruit or 1 scrambled egg with 1 toast.
Doing a wardrobe overhaul costs money. Plan to obtain clothing you want little by little. Consult fashion websites to learn about styles and basic wardrobe pieces.

Take “before” pictures. Photos will motivate you to continue your efforts.
Explore how you feel about beginning to work toward the changes. Do you feel positive, confident, and pleased that you’re finally going to “do something?” You might be experiencing doubt or hesitancy to get started. What makes you feel that way? This step is integral to your capacity to continue your path of self-re-invention.

Connect with your feelings to be successful in creating a new you. If you have serious doubts or even fears about taking steps toward what you want to be in life, consider consulting a life coach or counselor to help you move forward in your quest.

Put your plans into action. If all systems are “go,” move forward without delay.
Notice the subtle changes that you achieve along the way. Develop ways to reinforce your efforts to successfully alter the aspects you wish to change. Take a few pictures of yourself as you notice changes and display them where you can view them for motivation. After all, you’re doing what you set out to do—re-inventing yourself!

Creating a new and improved you can be a very exciting time in your life. Embrace this phase of life with all you’ve got. After all, you’re worth it.

To your success

Michael W

Eliminate Negative Self Image – 9 Strategies

2016-09-092016-09-07 ~ adminlife

Proven Strategies to Eliminate a Negative Self-Image

Your self-image is your perception of yourself. You might think of yourself as intelligent, lazy, bad with money, likeable, and eccentric. Your beliefs about yourself can be liberating or constricting.

Your self-image can influence your decisions and limit your ability to succeed. For example, if you believe that you’re bad at speaking with strangers, you may avoid social situations that include people you don’t know. As a result, you might miss out on your biggest opportunity to meet the love of your life, a recruiter for your dream job, or a life-long friend.

Change your self-image and enhance your life with these techniques:

Address your bad habits. No one is perfect. If you’re being completely honest, there are things about you that could use a little work. Shore up your shortcomings. Get in shape, practice being more patient, or be a better friend.

Focus on making progress. Perfection is an unreasonable goal.

Make a list of your good points. Do this in the morning and the evening. Make a long list and then add at least one item each morning and evening. Remind yourself of all the things you’re already good at. What do you appreciate about yourself? Review the list regularly and notice how good you feel.
Live by your morals. You have your own opinion about what’s right and wrong. If you can live according to your values, how can you feel bad about yourself? It’s only when we stray that we feel guilty or displeased with ourselves.

Make a list of the behaviors you’ll no longer accept from yourself.
How do you think a person should behave? What qualities are most important to you? Set standards for yourself that you refuse to violate.

Spend time each week helping others. Volunteer or help a neighbor. Do something for someone else without receiving anything in return. Your self-image will improve considerably by this one strategy alone.

There are websites that list the volunteer opportunities in every city. Find your community’s listings and make a positive difference in someone’s life. You’ll benefit as much as they do.

Experience success. You have the right to feel good about any success, so make it easy to succeed. Set small goals and accomplish them. It could be a goal to save $100 this month or make it to the gym three times this week. Show yourself that you can be successful consistently.
Spend time with those that think highly of you. A great way to increase your respect for yourself is to spend time with others who already think you’re great. Avoid those that are negative, unkind, or unsupportive.
Spend time on activities that you enjoy. Make yourself feel good on a regular basis. You can carry those good feelings with you into other parts of your life. The more time you’re able to spend feeling positive emotions, the better you’ll feel about yourself.
Let go of the need to be perfect. If being perfect is the only way you can feel good about yourself, you’re going to be unhappy most of the time. Perfection isn’t possible. Be interested in improvement and effort. These are controllable and achievable.
Treat yourself well. By treating yourself well, you’ll believe that you deserve it. Be as kind to yourself as you would a good friend. Take care of your needs. This includes eating well, getting enough sleep, having an active social life, and buying yourself the things you need.

Do you think highly of yourself? A negative self-image can have negative repercussions on every part of your life. It’s well worth the time to enhance your self-image. You’ll find it difficult to achieve more than you think you deserve. So believe that you deserve a lot and you’ll enjoy more of what you desire in life.

To your success

Michael W