Fear of Failure: The Greatest Threat to Your Success

2021-04-18 ~ adminlife

The fear of failure has killed more dreams than all other fears combined. The fear of failure is insidious, because it’s largely in your imagination. It can also prevent you from even trying in the first place, which guarantees failure.

It’s interesting that very small children have no concept of failure. They couldn’t care less if they fail to do something. They just try again. There are no negative thoughts or emotions involved. They just keep on going.

But it doesn’t take long before children learn to fear the opinions of others. It’s usually around the time they start school. After that first day of school, we’re all changed forever.

It might not be possible to go recapture the mentality of a toddler, but you can come close. The fear of failure doesn’t have to impact your life significantly.

Consider these facts:

Failure is temporary – unless you quit. Failure isn’t final unless you give up. All the most successful people have experienced a lot of failure. But they ended up being successful precisely because they didn’t quit. Failure is just a temporary state that means nothing, because it’s only temporary.
Failure is common. You’ve failed thousands of times and managed to survive. Consider how many times you failed to walk or to talk well. Babies have constant failure.
- Successful people fail all of the time. It’s a huge part of how human beings learn. We realize that our approach didn’t work, we adjust, and we try again.
Failure is educational. You can learn something from every single one of your failures. Failure makes you more knowledgeable and capable. The more you fail, the stronger you become.
Others are far less concerned about your failure than you think. A few people might notice your failure, but they quickly turn their attention back on themselves and their own challenges.
- There’s nothing to worry about. Feel free to fail as much as necessary. Fail enough and you’ll quickly see that no one relevant cares.
Focus on how great it will be when you succeed. Instead of worrying about possible failure, consider possible success. Make yourself feel excited and positive about taking action.
- With high enough expectations, you’ll do just about anything without worrying about failure.
Redirect your thoughts. Put your attention on what you’re doing. If a negative outcome isn’t going to cause any real harm, forget about the outcome. Stay focused on your actions or something positive. Thinking about failing will freeze you in your tracks.
Consider the cost of doing nothing. Taking action might be a little scary, but what will happen if you do nothing?
- What will you feel about failing to take action?
- What if you’re stuck in your current life for the next decade or more?
- Maybe taking a risk is far more attractive than remaining where you are.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid of failing? Probably a lot more than you’re currently doing! How much has the fear of failure limited your life?

We’ve all allowed the fear of failure to influence our decisions. We’ve allowed this fear to stop us from trying new things or taking risks. We all have smaller lives than we could because we’re too concerned with what others think.

Rejecting the fear of failure is one of the greatest things you can do for your future!

You can start today. What are you going to do today that you’ve been afraid to try?

Failure is something that you should embrace. If you are not failing at things then you are not moving forward. You will not be as successful as you can be because you will only accept non-risk opportunities into your life.

As long as you learn from your failures you can be successful. A failure is not final, quitting is final.

To talk about how you can become more successful, confident and empowered, book a 15-minute “Get to know you” call now.

To your success

Michael

Photo by the blowup on Unsplash

12 Signs That You’re Doing Better Than You Think

2021-04-11 ~ adminlife

It’s not unusual for a person to think they’re doing worse than they actually are. Some of us are just pessimistic. Progress can also be hard to see sometimes unless you’re looking in the right places for it.

If you feel like you’re working hard with little to show for it, you’re probably mistaken. It’s likely that you’re doing a lot better than you think!

Consider these positive signs:

You learn the lesson that each mistake and failure provide. If you can learn something from every failure and mistake, it won’t take long before you’re incredibly successful.
- Most people repeat their errors over and over, whether it’s overspending or choosing a partner. People have a strong tendency to repeat their behaviours. But you can choose to act differently than you did the last time you were in a similar situation!
You’re clear on what you want. This can be half the battle. You have a huge advantage over the competition if you know what you want. Most people are aimlessly floating through life.
You spend your time wisely. Spend your time well and good things happen. Spend your time poorly and your life will be a train wreck.
- When deciding what you’re going to do next, ask yourself what the best use of your time would be. Then, do it.
You’re making regular progress. Consistent progress is a great sign. Even if you feel like you’re lightyears from your goal, all you need is regular progress. Many people have been dieting for years and haven’t lost a single pound. Even a pound of weight loss each month is meaningful over a period of time.
You’re consistent in your efforts. Successful people put in some work on a daily basis. Success isn’t about working really hard for a day here and there.
- Being consistent in your efforts also means that you’re sticking to your goals. Working for a week on one goal and then changing your mind and working on something else is a path to nowhere.
You’re not alone. There are people that are alone in the world. If you’re not alone, you’re doing better than many others.
You’re optimistic. When you’re optimistic, there’s hope. When you’re optimistic, you’ll take action.
- Conversely, when your expectations are low, you quickly become stuck, because you believe your efforts will be a waste of time.
You’re determined. Commitment is a great sign that you’re going places. Good things happen when you’re determined.
You’re not worried about the opinions of others. If you care too much about what others think, you’ll prefer to play it safe, and you won’t do anything significant. You can leave them and their opinions in the dust behind you!
You have a dry, warm place to sleep. If you’ve ever had to go without this, you know how nice this is. If you don’t have to deal with this situation, then you’re doing better than you think.
You have a job. A steady income is a great thing. Many people either can’t find work or are unable to maintain employment. Even if you’re earning less than you’d like, it’s a lot better than earning nothing at all.
You’re healthy. If you’re basically healthy, you have a huge leg up on a lot of people. Good health is a huge blessing.

Our society is easy in many ways and quite challenging in others. A high priority is placed on success, but there are other things that are also important. Friends, a warm bed, and a job are pretty relevant, too.

If you’re clear on what you’re trying to accomplish, and you’re spending your time wisely, you’re doing quite well. This is true even if the results haven’t revealed themselves yet. Have faith!

Most people are actually doing quite well in their lives but we are surrounded by so many negative things. people and news that we don’t see the positives in the world and in ourselves.

If you can start to put some of the advice in this article into practice, you will be surprised at how well you really are doing in your life.

If you want to take your life to an even higher level, book a “Get to know you” call with me at:

https://calendly.com/michael-coach/15-minute-get-to-know-you

We will talk about where you are now, where you want to be and how you can get there.

To your success

Michael

Photo by Hoang Le on Unsplash

Conquer Your Insecurities to Gain the Confidence and Success You Deserve

2021-03-22 ~ adminlife

Our insecurities often stem from a fear of failure. This could be a good thing if you’re weighing the risk versus reward of doing something that puts you in danger. But more often than not, insecurities just hold you back from having what you want in life.

Insecurities can prevent you from getting the job you want or the promotion you deserve. If you feel like you’re not good enough, you may stop trying. And if you do try, the person responsible for giving you the job or promotion may pick up on your insecurities and offer the position to someone else.

If you’re insecure, it can hurt your relationships as well. If you’re constantly worried that your significant other is cheating on you, or is planning to leave you for someone else, this can put a lot of strain on your relationship.

A lot of individuals have financial insecurities, too. Financial insecurities can prevent you from making an investment that could be worth a lot of money in the future.

Take these steps to gain confidence and conquer your insecurities:

Take an objective look at yourself. Pinpoint some of the things you’re insecure about and consider what you would tell someone else in the same position.

- If you’re insecure about an upcoming job interview or your romantic relationship, consider what advice you’d give to someone in the same situation.

Stop living in fear. Maybe someone else will get the position you want. Maybe that investment won’t work out and you might lose some money. Keep in mind that there’s no reward without risk.

- If you let fear hold you back from trying, you’ll continue to evade success.

Make a list of the things you’re afraid of. Write down the things that make you uncomfortable and why you think they cause you to worry. Review your list and think about whether these are legitimate, rational concerns.

- Most people have a fear of failure and that’s perfectly natural. However, it’s important to avoid letting that fear overwhelm you to the point where it prevents you from going after the things you want.

Focus on past successes. Many times, insecurities stem from a traumatic experience in the past. Find a way to remember the positive experiences you’ve had rather than the negative.

- Maybe your girlfriend cheated on you and you’re worried that it will happen again. Perhaps you had a job interview that went horribly and left you feeling defeated. Whatever the situation, it’s time to move past it.

- Instead of dwelling on the times you’ve failed, focus on instances where you’ve experienced success. This will help you gain confidence and get past your insecurities.

Realize that you’re unable to control others, but you can control yourself. It’s difficult to predict the behaviour of others. Your significant other may decide to break up with you and move onto another relationship. Your boss may decide that you don’t deserve the promotion. All of that isn’t within your control. You can only take ownership of your own actions.

- You can work hard to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend. You can do everything in your power to get that promotion. Focus on the things that you can control and let the cards fall where they may.

When you dwell on your insecurities, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can drive people away in relationships. You could lose a job or promotion because you believe you’re unworthy. Try to implement these strategies to get past your insecurities. It will give you the best chance for success.

When you conquer your insecurities, you grow in your life and start to develop the inner confidence that will get move you forward towards your goals.

It is not easy to do this alone, that is why using a Life Coach can help.

Book a 15-minute call here “Get to know you call”, to talk with me about where you are now and where you want to be and we may be able to work together to help you achieve the best year of your life.

To your success

Michael

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

I control my destiny.

2021-03-16 ~ adminlife

I am in charge of my life.

I set specific and compelling goals. I challenge myself to achieve more. I give my life meaning and direction. My vision is clear, and my enthusiasm is high.

I build up my resources. I add to my knowledge and skills. I continue to grow and develop.

I cultivate mutually supportive relationships. I strengthen my personal and professional networks. I surround myself with family, friends, and colleagues who provide me with encouragement and practical assistance.

I take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I accept the consequences of my choices. I learn from each experience.

I manage my time. I set priorities and limit distractions. I am organized and efficient.

I persevere through obstacles. I am patient and flexible. I am willing to work hard for what I want. When I fall down, I pick myself up again. I evaluate my progress and create new strategies.

I live with integrity. I keep my word. I follow through on the commitments I make to myself and others.

I take action. I focus on results. I break big projects down into manageable steps. I start small and build momentum. Each victory inspires me to keep trying.

Today, I empower myself. I am confident and capable. I create my own reality.

Self-Reflection Questions:

How is being accountable different from blaming myself?
How many times did I complain or make excuses today?
What is the relationship between freedom and responsibility?

You can take control of your own life. It is not always easy; we have many blocks to being in control that we may not even know about.

You can do this all by yourself or you can use a Life Coach to guide you and make sure that you uncover the things that stop you from being in control.

You can find out more by contacting me at michael@coachmichaelw.com and we can arrange a conversation about where you are now, where you want to be and how you can get there.

To your success

Michael

Image by Céline Martin from Pixabay

From Fear to Freedom

2021-02-08 ~ adminlife

Every successful person has had to deal with fear. The road to hell might be paved with good intentions, but the road to success is littered with fear and uncertainty.

The biggest difference between someone that is wildly successful and someone that is not is the courage to take significant action over and over again.

These steps will enable you take that significant action, repeatedly:

Simply decide to succeed. Most people never really decide to do or accomplish anything significant; at best they ‘kinda sorta try it out.’ However, once you’ve truly decided to go for your dreams, there is no other option – and no room for fear or doubt – in your mind. In fact, the word ‘decide’ means to cut yourself off from any other possibility.
Embrace risk. Chase after your fears and show them who is boss. Make the tough presentation or phone call. Ask for whatever it is that you want. A big part of being successful is doing things that other people are too afraid to do.
Prepare yourself. Many of our stresses, challenges, and concerns are things that we anticipated. Take the time to find solutions and put them into place before you need them. When you can see a challenge that is likely to come up, simply prepare for it instead of worrying about it.
Go with the flow. If you don’t live in the past or future, life is much less stressful. Let go of your resistance to the present moment and see what happens.
Focus on the good outcomes. Most people look for the worst and expect it to happen. Expect the best and it’s much easier to take action. Sure, some undesirable things will likely happen along the way, but they’ll be like mosquitoes that need to be shooed away. That’s much better than the brick wall that you might otherwise perceive.
Learn to relax. When you feel stress and anxiety coming on, a few slow, deep breaths can make a huge difference. To a large extent, our psychology follows our physiology; breathing is the only part of our physiology that we can really control. Use that control to your advantage.
Fully engage in your life and get away from the news. The news is so negative. Instead, find something interesting to do with your time. If you’re conquering less stressful things all day long, the more stressful things don’t seem so bad anymore. Take a piano lesson, go hiking, or go skydiving. It will make your life more interesting, too.
Realize that you are enough. Even if you have things to learn and skills that need to be honed, that doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of the task at hand. Plan to acquire the resources you need, but do everything you can with the resources you have now.
Start small. Make a list of everything that you need to do but can’t seem to follow through on. Put them in order from least scary to most. Now decide to do the item at the top of the list. When that’s done, do the next. Only focus on the current item at the top of the list.

The only way to truly be free is to conquer your fears. The only way to conquer your fears is to do the things that frighten you. Show yourself that you can do those things successfully. Follow the suggestions above and start your journey from fear to freedom today!

You now have some advice and tips to help you to get started, overcome your fears and keep growing in your life.

If you still think that this is something that you will need help with, you can contact me at michael@coachmichaelw.com

To your success

Michael

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash