Do Your Goals Support Your Values?

2021-01-04 ~ adminlife

If you’re struggling to be as successful as you’d like to be, there’s a great chance that a discrepancy exists between your goals and your values. If our goals are antithetical to our values, success is all but impossible. We don’t like to behave in ways that are counter to our values. If a mismatch exists, something has to give.

If you’re forever coming up short when it comes to achieving your dreams, your values might be at odds with your goals.

Use these techniques to set goals that support your values:

List your current values. Have you ever taken the time to examine your values? Most people have never given their values a second thought. This is a shame, because a person’s values guide their thinking, decisions, and actions.
- Take 30 minutes and list your values. Put them in order of their priority to you.
- Ask yourself if your behaviour is aligned with your values. If there’s a mismatch, what set of values would actually represent your behaviour?
- Most of us have an idealized impression of our intentions, values, and qualities.

What are you trying to accomplish? What are your goals in life? What do you want to accomplish? Do you want to be wealthy? Get a six-pack? Write a screenplay? Save the whales? Build a real estate empire? The first step to any great success is to identify your objectives.
How do your current values impact your goals? If your values and goals don’t match, the odds of success are dismal without something changing.

- For example, if you believe that wealthy people are fundamentally bad, you’ll never accumulate a significant amount of wealth.
- If comfort is a high priority for you, that six-pack will never materialize.
- Do you value having a lot of leisure time? A goal that requires a lot of work isn’t going to happen.
- Look at your goals and look at your values. Do your goals support those values? Do your values support your goals?

What would be the perfect set of values to support your goals? Imagine you could build a person from scratch that would be perfect for accomplishing your goals. What values and qualities would they possess? How would you be different if you had these values?

- Think about the people you know that have accomplished what you want to accomplish. How would you describe them?

How close can you come to matching those values? How well can you rearrange your values to match that ideal set of values? The closer you’re able to come, the greater the odds of your success.
Reinforce the values that matter. Imagine that your goal is to save $20,000 for a down payment on a home. Let’s suppose that you’ve determined that you need to be someone that values saving money over spending. How can you build this value in yourself and make it a part of you?

- Prove to yourself that you’re that type of person: For example, pick up pennies you find on the ground and save them. Cut coupons. Find new ways of dealing with stress other than shopping. Save part of your income as soon as your paycheck hits your bank account.
- When you keep proving to yourself over and over again that you possess a value, those actions will build and reinforce that value.

Are your goals and values a good match? It’s important that they are. When a mismatch exists, it’s important to either alter your values or your goals. There’s only so much resistance a person can overcome. Success is much easier when your values and your intentions are highly compatible.

To your success

Michael

P.S. If you are looking for more information on confidence and motivation you can join my Facebook groups Developing Confidence in Yourself or Confidence Coaching. For success articles you can join You Are Success Life Coach.

These groups will enable you to learn more about all aspects of confidence, motivation and success.

You can also contact me at michael@coachmichaelw.com to arrange a discovery session to Determine Your Primary Life Goal or to discover your Limiting Beliefs that can help to make your life more successful.

Feature Photo by icon0.com from Pexels

Making Peace with Your Inner Critic

2020-09-16 ~ adminlife

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

The way you talk to yourself can build you up or tear you down. When your inner dialogue is harsh, it’s usually because you’re repeating things you heard from your parents or other authority figures when you were growing up.

If the criticism goes too far, it can discourage you from trying and take the joy out of your life.

Break free from the voices in your head. Take a look at a variety of techniques that prove that there’s more than one way to make peace with your inner critic.

Making Friends with Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic will sound less scary if you remember that it wants to protect you from failure and other possible dangers.

Learn how to put it to work for you instead of against you:

Increase awareness. You may be so used to your inner critic that you hardly think about what it’s saying. Start changing your relationship by trying to understand what it wants to tell you.
Look back. What’s your first memory of your inner critic? Does it sound like a particular person from your past? There may be family issues or other matters that you need to heal before you can move on.
Focus on growth. Maybe your inner voice says you’re bad at math because you failed a test in the third grade. In reality, you’re not stuck in your past. Adopt a growth mindset that enables you to become whatever you want as long as you’re willing to put in the work to get there.
Aim higher. You may also find your inner critic easier to deal with if you keep a deeper purpose in mind. When you’re working for something bigger than yourself, you can accept your self-doubts without being overcome by them.
Try meditation. Many adults find that meditation helps them to make their self-talk more comforting and motivating. Let go of judgements and connect with your inner goodness.

Silencing Your Inner Critic

On the other hand, there are times when you just need a break. If your self-talk is making you anxious and depressed, you can find relief.

Seek distractions. Shift your attention elsewhere. Take a walk or read a book. Spend some time doing anything that you enjoy.
Distance yourself. Turn down the volume by imagining that your inner critic is speaking to someone else instead of you. Take any statement and replace the personal pronouns with a funny name.
Identify triggers. Give yourself advance warning. Figure out the situations where your inner critic is likely to appear. You may be sensitive about first dates or criticism from your boss.
List your strengths. If you’re tired of hearing about your weaknesses, remember your strengths. Make a list of the things you’re good at from baking bread to writing code.
Correct exaggerations. Your house won’t be condemned because you were too busy to vacuum for a few days. Keep things in perspective by ensuring that your self-talk is accurate.
Use affirmations. Repeating positive affirmations can give you a boost when you’re feeling down. Browse online for ideas or invent your own wording.
Remember your worth. Being tough on yourself erodes your self-esteem. Shore it back up by telling yourself that you deserve to be happy and successful.
Build support. While you need to value yourself, it helps to have others in your corner too. Surround yourself with family and friends who make you feel positive about yourself and your opportunities.

Take control of your self-talk and your future. Treat yourself with compassion and keep striving to reach your full potential.

To your success

Michael

If you are looking to read more on motivation, you can find check out these three books:

Developing and Keeping Your Self-Motivation Strong

How to Harness the Power of Momentum for a More Successful Life

Keeping Your Motivation High to Get Things Done

Develop the Growth Mindset Habit

2020-01-142020-01-13 ~ adminlife

When deciding what new habit to pursue, it’s easy to look at all the things we shouldn’t do as a place to begin. We want to stop smoking or stress eating. We want to learn how to say ‘no’ or to quit spending so much time on social media.

Have you ever considered the flipside of all that by building a habit that’s positive? What if the habit you formed was one of growth and personal development?

Having a growth mindset positively impacts your life in multiple ways, so it’s a great healthy habit to build into your life. What are the benefits of developing a growth mindset?

1. You keep learning. Learning is important as you not only discover new ways to do things, but by making a practice of constantly learning, you develop new ways of thinking, and new ideas. Learning connects you with more of the world and helps you see things with a deeper significance than you ever thought possible. But more than that, people who stop learning very quickly stagnate. Studies have shown that the practice of learning new things when you are older helps ward off problems related to dementia. In short, learning is good for your brain!

2. You learn perseverance. As we learn new things, we adapt and change how we think. That gives us the ability to see other solutions to problems that would have frustrated us in the past. By challenging yourself to grow, you learn how to push through obstacles and find new paths.

3. You learn how to embrace challenges. Growth can be challenging. But by pushing yourself to grow, that means you’re also pushing yourself to look at challenges differently. An obstacle now becomes an opportunity to learn something new and to do things in a way you haven’t before.

4. You learn how to embrace failure. When you’re interested in growing as an individual, you start to see failure differently. Everything becomes a potential lesson in a way that you didn’t think would work.

5. You become more open to criticism. By being willing to grow, you start to see that the input of other people has significance. You see their words not so much as something negative, but something you can use to develop as a person and learn something about yourself. You might not always like the lesson, but that’s part of growing too.

By embracing personal growth, you find the best version of yourself. You’re able to become more than you ever thought possible, and then you turn that around by finding out that you can become more still. You’ll find that the furthest edges of yourself are far beyond what you thought you ever could be.

Using Affirmations For Self-Belief

2019-02-132019-02-13 ~ adminlife

One of the famous authors, Robin Sharma, says that anything that is done for 21 continuous days becomes a habit for you. Improving your self-confidence, not just results in success in your work, but also helps you realise your true worth. It makes you understand yourself better as a person. Being positive at all times helps to improve your self-esteem phenomenally. These affirmations listed below help you remain positive at all times. These affirmations are certain mantras/rules which make you convinced about the decisions that you take in your life.

Failures are stepping stones to success

This is the first affirmation that you need to tell yourself every day. Regardless of your effort and skill, you may fail in your efforts, and things may not go as planned. You should understand that life is never a bed of roses and that you have to experience the thorns if you want to enjoy the beauty of the roses. When you keep repeating this mantra, you will start seeing failures as experiences or opportunities that gave you some important lessons to remember throughout your lifetime.

I love challenges, and I am cut out for it

When a job gets monotonous and dull, it doesn’t push you to perform well. Your creativity is killed when your job doesn’t have challenges. So, whenever you find challenging situations, you shouldn’t get intimidated by them. Instead, you should welcome these challenges with open arms and show them how prepared you are to meet them with confidence. Tell yourself every day that you are made to meet challenges and that you love them. As the great Paulo Coelho said, “The ship is safest when it’s in port, but that’s not what ships were built for”.

I trust my decisions

This is one of the most important affirmations that you should repeat at regular intervals to feel confident and motivated at work. When you trust your decisions, you will do a better job than before at work because the onus rests with you. Sometimes, your decisions may turn out to be incorrect, but even at those times, it is important never to give up. There can be no place for regrets in your life. Think well, take a decision according to the situation and trust your instincts. More often than not, a decision taken this way proves to be correct, thereby boosting your self-confidence.

Where there is a will, there is a way

This is quite an inspiring affirmation, indeed! In simple words, this affirmation tells us that it is absolutely in our control to do or not do something. Many of us don’t admit our mistakes or take ownership of our wrong decisions. We always try to blame other people or situations. We always try to make excuses. However, your self-confidence will get a boost only with results, not with excuses! When you keep telling yourself this affirmation, you keep reminding yourself that if you are passionate about something, you will do it, beating all odds. You will only need to have the “want” to work towards your dreams, to make them a reality.

To your success

Michael W

P.S. If you are looking for a confidence program that can help you with your self development. Send me an email at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to request a copy of my “Maximum Confidence Transformation Package”. Afterwards we can arrange a discovery telephone call to discuss the package and how you can benefit further from developing your confidence level.

Feature photo used under CCO and available at https://pixabay.com/en/street-art-glastonbury-affirmation-3291980/

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How to Present an Authentic Image That Works for You

2019-01-262019-01-26 ~ adminlife

Do you walk your talk? Is the image you portray to the world in line with the real you? Does your image work for you? People make assumptions about you based on your appearance, attitude, and the words you choose.

Do you talk about homeless children or your drinking exploits? Do you look like a stockbroker, a plumber, or a rap star?

Present yourself in a way that depicts your values. It’s disconcerting to people when they can’t quite figure you out.

“This guy wants me invest my money with him, but he looks like he works in a factory.”
“She says she’s all about helping the poor and the homeless, but she drives a $100,000 car and constantly talks about her extravagant spending habits.”

Maybe you have a friend that claims he’s an adventurous risk-taker, but has been stuck in the same low-paying job that he can’t stand for the last 10 years.

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When the image you present to the world clearly isn’t accurate, it raises a lot of red flags, and others won’t trust you. When your image doesn’t fit the situation, it also causes concern.

What does the image you present say about you?

Be realistic regarding the situation. If you’re going to a job interview, it’s not really the right time to wear your ripped jeans or to curse like a sailor. That might be the image that makes you the most comfortable, but it’s creating challenges for you in certain situations.
- The right clothing, vocabulary, and attitude will vary with the situation. You don’t want to be viewed as a constantly changing chameleon, but there are things that just won’t work in certain situations.
- Consider the image that will work for you in a given situation and make the necessary adjustments. A certain image may be accurate, but that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate 24/7.
Know what matters to you. Your values are an important part of developing the image you present to the world. Are freedom and rejecting social norms part of your value system? Adventure? Money? Helping others?
Understand what it means when your true-self and your image are incongruent. It means that you’re trying to present yourself as something you’re not. You’re not happy with your reality, so you’re pretending to be something else.
Think about the image you want to present at work. Are you the creative guy with unique solutions? Or are you the dead-serious woman that meets every deadline, even if she has to work 12 hours on Saturday? What image will work in your work environment? Can you still look at yourself in the mirror each morning with that image?
Think about the image you want to present outside of work. Can people figure out who you are within 10 minutes of meeting you? Do you like the way the world views you? Does it work for you? Is it an accurate depiction of you?

Find the middle ground. You might be a casual person, but that doesn’t mean you can wear gym shorts and sneakers everywhere. There are other ways to present yourself as someone that isn’t stuffy and overly formal. Be honest about who you are, but don’t shoot yourself in the foot in the process.

When your true-self and your image match, it puts people at ease. You’re more likeable when you’re congruent. Think about the most likeable people you know. You know exactly who they are within a short time.

Think about how you present yourself to the world. Are you making your life easier or more challenging?

To your success

Michael W

Feature photo used under CCO and available at https://pixabay.com/en/identity-self-refection-reflecting-795864/