Self-Blame and Self-Criticism Is Not Healthy

2024-07-29 ~ adminlife

Self-blame refers to a person’s tendency to consider themselves at fault, especially when things don’t go as well as planned, even if the cause or events were beyond their control. A pattern of self-blame leads a person to feel constantly guilty and inferior.

Although the tendency to self-blame can make a person seem humble and unassuming, it can also inhibit them in becoming more creative and wanting to strive to do better.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

People who have a persistent habit of blaming themselves for anything that goes wrong will usually avoid taking the initiative. This is because they prefer to stay inconspicuous so they won’t receive extra (negatively perceived) attention, and in doing so, hope that others will have similar expectations of their capabilities.

Self-blame is also correlated with being self-critical

Being self-critical is the act of telling ourselves negative and destructive thoughts, such as being inadequate, shameful, or a failure. We almost all have a tendency to be self-critical to some degree.

However, the problem begins when this becomes a habit; a negative, self-reinforcing loop. This is because constant self-criticism causes a person to become stuck with negative thoughts and emotions about themselves. They feel guilt and shame to the extent that they no longer feel any desire to achieve. If left unaddressed, this inaction can lead to depression or other mental health issues.

Self-criticism deprives an individual of being able to look at their own efforts or abilities objectively. It robs them of being able to engage in healthy self-reflection, which would allow them to be more accepting of any past mistakes.

A little bit of self-blame and self-criticism is okay

We can get away with a little bit of self-blame and self-criticism occasionally. However, if we continually beat ourselves up and start to do it more often than not, then we may not be able to stop and do an objective reality check.

Remember, your mind is incredibly powerful. If you continually feed it with self-blaming and self-criticizing words, those words will get louder and more believed and ingrained. In turn this can increase your risk of developing anxiety or depression.

Self-blame and self-criticism can be beneficial to some degree

They do help us ‘get real’ about ourselves. Sometimes we may be a little guilty of believing our own press. Some critical self-evaluation allows us to identify and accept our imperfections and take conscious steps to improve them. However, if self-blame and self-criticism become the norm, it can paralyze us into inaction.

Consequently, you will be hindered from achieving your full potential. Therefore, it’s important to keep self-blame and self-criticism within healthy levels. Simply, it should be a feedback mechanism, not a tool for consistent self-deprecation.

Steps To Keep Your Self-Blaming and Self-Criticism In Check

Focus your criticism on your behaviour

Behaviours can be changed. This is why when your inner voice starts to be critical, it is time to address your behaviours. Be careful not to criticize your attributes, as you can’t always change them, or need to. Your attributes are a part of your uniqueness.

If you blame yourself for not being super-intelligent, you run the risk of drowning in frustration and depression. If instead you more correctly blame or criticize your habit of spending too much time on your smartphone instead of studying, then chances are you can find ways to rectify the behaviour, and therefore change the result.

Know the difference between taking responsibility and self-blaming

Instead of being quick to blame or criticize yourself, try to assess the situation first. It is important that you look into every aspect of yourself, and see how your actions, inactions, and the words you have left unspoken, affected the entire outcome of the situation. Accept your mistakes and come up with ways on how you can improve yourself as well as the situation in the future.

Challenge your self-critical inner voice

When your inner voice tells you that you are lazy, not worthy or inadequate, challenge these thoughts. Start by creating a journal of the things that you like about yourself, and your strengths. Creating this type of journal will help you appreciate yourself more and criticize yourself less.

If you work on improving yourself, your skills, abilities, and behaviour you will find it easier to get rid of your negative self-critical inner voice.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 45-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P. P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Photo by Marvelous Raphael on Unsplash

Tired of Missing Great Opportunities?

2024-07-17 ~ adminlife

Are you frustrated with constantly missing out on opportunities due to procrastination? Like many, you might find yourself delaying tasks until the last minute, only to realize you’ve lost a valuable chance to succeed. Whether it’s a job opportunity, career advancement, or a personal goal, procrastination can hinder your progress and prevent you from reaching your full potential.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

Procrastination can cause missed deadlines, overlooked chances to showcase your abilities, and lost opportunities for career or personal growth. For instance, if you have an interview for your dream job but procrastinate on preparation, you might miss the chance to impress and secure the position. Similarly, delaying a significant work project until the last moment can result in subpar performance, missing an opportunity to impress your boss and colleagues.

Personal growth and development also suffer from procrastination. If you have a goal to learn a new skill or start a new hobby but keep postponing it, you miss the opportunity to challenge yourself and grow in exciting ways.

Ultimately, procrastination leads to wasted time and missed opportunities. By overcoming procrastination, you can take control of your life and seize the opportunities that come your way.

Here are some tips to help you combat procrastination:

Identify Your Triggers: Understand what causes your procrastination. It might be fear of failure or feeling overwhelmed. Recognizing your triggers can help you develop strategies to overcome them.
Set Goals: Focus on what you want to achieve by setting clear goals. This provides you with a roadmap to follow.
Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: Tackle tasks by breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps.
Create a Schedule: Allocate specific times for your important tasks and adhere to your schedule as much as possible.
Seek Support: Find a coach, mentor, or therapist who can keep you accountable, offer guidance, and encourage you to keep moving forward.
Celebrate Your Progress: Reward yourself when you achieve your goals. Establish a system of rewards to keep yourself motivated.

By implementing these strategies, you can start taking control of procrastination and begin taking advantage of the opportunities around you. Whether you’re aiming for career advancement, achieving a personal goal, or simply seeking a more fulfilling life, overcoming procrastination is crucial for success. So, why wait? Start taking action today and reach for the stars.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

P.P.P.P.S Now is your best chance to find my entire ebook collection for a promotional price at @Smashwords as part of their Annual Summer/Winter Sale! Find my books and many more at

https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos/

Photo by Agefis on Unsplash

Do You Worry Too Much About What Others Think?

2024-07-10 ~ adminlife

Everyone worries, but some people worry excessively about what others think. They spend time with people they don’t like or avoid others out of fear of repercussions. They struggle to make even simple decisions, constantly adjusting their stance in response to criticism. They hesitate to share their thoughts or assume others are upset with them when it’s not true. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you might be worrying too much about others’ opinions.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

How to Stop Worrying About Others’ Opinions

Focusing too much on what others think can hinder your personal and professional success. If you find yourself trapped in this cycle, here are some steps to help you break free:

Accept that people will have opinions about you: Everyone makes judgments, some accurate and some not. Accepting that people will form opinions, even if they’re wrong, helps you let go of their critiques more easily.
Remember that people care less about you than you think: It may sound harsh, but it’s true. Most people are more focused on their own lives than on your mistakes or awkward moments. They likely have fewer opinions about you than you imagine.
Understand that hurt people hurt people: Life’s circumstances impact everyone differently. Someone’s judgment of you often reflects their own issues and beliefs. Realizing this can help you be more compassionate toward others.
Own up to mistakes but don’t dwell on them: Shame can make us ignore our errors, but it’s better to face them and move on. Admit your mistake, deal with the embarrassment, and continue with your life.
Find your heroes and look to them for inspiration: Identify people you admire who have overcome similar fears. Learn about how they faced challenges and obstacles. Their stories can inspire and guide you through tough times.
Surround yourself with supportive people: Look for those who love and support you, recognizing both your strengths and weaknesses. Build and strengthen these relationships. If something feels off, don’t hesitate to ask about it. This can help improve your connections.

Don’t let worrying about others’ opinions keep you from the success you deserve.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Now is your best chance to find my entire ebook collection for a promotional price at @Smashwords as part of their Annual Summer/Winter Sale! Find my books at

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Michael_W

Photo by Joseph Corl on Unsplash

Which type of mindset do you have?

2024-07-05 ~ adminlife

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, in her insightful book *Mindset: The New Psychology of Success*, explains that there are two types of mindsets: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. These mindsets shape how we view our abilities and personality.

A fixed mindset is the belief that our character, creative abilities, and intelligence are static traits that cannot change. People with this mindset think their basic abilities are inherent and will not improve beyond a certain point.

Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

Individuals with a fixed mindset strive to appear intelligent because they do not believe their intelligence can grow. They fear looking unintelligent, thinking that once labelled as such, they will always be seen that way. Common fixed mindset thoughts include:

Either I’m good at something, or I’m not.
I can’t learn now; it’s too late.
There’s no point in trying if I’m going to fail.
I always struggle with…
I’m a procrastinator.
I’m not creative.
It’s hard for me to lose weight.

In contrast, a growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can develop with time and experience. People with a growth mindset think they can become smarter, and that their efforts directly impact their success. They understand that persistence is key to learning.

Those with a growth mindset see their basic abilities as just the starting point for their potential. This mindset fosters a love of learning rather than a constant need for validation. Common growth mindset thoughts include:

I can always become better at something through practice.
I can learn whatever I want or need to, exactly when I need to learn it.
I see failures as opportunities to learn, reassess, and improve.
I can always do better if I put in the effort.
Determination and effort determine my outcomes.
I enjoy learning and growing and see it as a lifelong pursuit.

A key difference between these mindsets is how they handle challenges. A person with a fixed mindset will often avoid challenges out of fear of failure and may shirk responsibilities. Conversely, someone with a growth mindset embraces challenges, finding them engaging and valuable for learning. They overcome obstacles and move on to greater achievements.

Another important difference is in handling mistakes and feedback. A person with a fixed mindset is embarrassed by mistakes, often blaming others or becoming defensive when criticized. In contrast, someone with a growth mindset views mistakes as learning opportunities. They are open to criticism, seeing it as a way to improve and do better next time.

If you recognize a fixed mindset in yourself and want to change, you can. It requires practice, determination, awareness of your thoughts, and anticipating your reactions to situations. With effort, you can develop a more open, growth mindset that leads to success in all areas of life.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Now is your best chance to find my entire ebook collection for a promotional price at @Smashwords as part of their Annual Summer/Winter Sale! Find my books at

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Michael_W

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

The Champion and the Explorer: Competitive vs. Creative Mindsets

2024-06-28 ~ adminlife

Have you ever noticed how some people thrive in fast-paced environments, constantly striving to be the best, while others flourish in open-ended situations, exploring new ideas and possibilities? These contrasting approaches reflect two fundamental mindsets: competitive and creative. While they may seem like opposites, both play a crucial role in our lives and can be harnessed for success, depending on the situation.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

The Competitive Mindset: Championing Your Drive

Imagine a runner sprinting towards the finish line, lungs burning, pushing their body to the limit. This embodies the competitive mindset. It’s about setting goals, focusing on winning, and constantly seeking to outperform others. People with this approach are driven by a desire for excellence and recognition. They excel in structured environments with clear objectives.

Strengths of the Competitive Mindset:

Motivation: Competition ignites a fire within, pushing individuals to train harder, study longer, and constantly improve.
Goal Setting and Achievement: Competitive individuals are adept at setting achievable goals and developing strategies to reach them.
Resilience: Facing setbacks is inevitable in any competition. Competitive thinkers are determined and bounce back from failures, using them as stepping stones for future success.
Focus and Discipline: Maintaining focus and discipline is essential for surpassing the competition. Competitive minds excel at staying on track and resisting distractions.

The Competitive Mindset: When It Can Hinder You

While the competitive spirit can be a powerful motivator, it can also have downsides. Here are some situations where it might not be the best approach:

Stifling Creativity: The intense focus on winning can limit exploration and experimentation. The fear of failure might prevent individuals from trying new, potentially risky ideas.
Toxic Comparisons: Constantly comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and hinder personal growth.
Win-Lose Mentality: This mindset can damage relationships and create a hostile environment where collaboration is difficult.

The Creative Mindset: Embracing the Explorer

Now imagine an artist staring at a blank canvas, a writer lost in a world of imagination, or an inventor tinkering with a new idea. This exemplifies the creative mindset. It’s about exploration, innovation, and the joy of creating something new. Creative thinkers are drawn to open-ended problems and enjoy the process of generating unique solutions.

Strengths of the Creative Mindset:

Problem-Solving: Creative individuals are adept at approaching problems from different angles, fostering innovative solutions.
Open-mindedness: They embrace new ideas and perspectives, leading to a richer understanding of the world.
Curiosity and Experimentation: Creativity thrives on a natural curiosity and a willingness to experiment with new approaches and ideas.
Adaptability: The ever-changing nature of creative pursuits allows individuals to readily adapt to new situations and challenges.

The Creative Mindset: When It Can Hinder You

The freedom and exploration of the creative mind can sometimes lead to challenges:

Maintaining Focus: With so many possibilities, it can be difficult to maintain focus on a single project and see it through to completion.
Fear of Judgment: Sharing creative work can be intimidating. The fear of rejection might prevent individuals from putting their ideas out there.
Disorganization: The free-flowing nature of creativity can sometimes lead to disorganization and a lack of structure, making it difficult to manage projects effectively.

Finding the Perfect Balance: Championing Your Creativity and Exploring Your Competitive Drive

The good news? You don’t have to choose between these mindsets. The most successful individuals possess elements of both. Here’s how to strike a balance:

Embrace the Challenge, then Explore: When faced with a problem, start by analyzing what’s already been done (competitive thinking). Then, use that knowledge as a springboard to explore unique solutions (creative thinking).
Collaborate with Different Thinkers: Surround yourself with people who complement your strengths. A competitive thinker can benefit from a creative teammate who pushes boundaries, and vice versa.
Celebrate Both Victories and Discoveries: Acknowledge the thrill of winning a competition, but also recognize the joy and satisfaction of discovering something new and creative.

By understanding the strengths and weaknesses of both competitive and creative mindsets, we can leverage them to achieve success in all areas of life. So, the next time you approach a task, remember: you can be both the champion striving for victory and the explorer venturing into the unknown.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Now is your best chance to find my entire ebook collection for a promotional price at @Smashwords as part of their Annual Summer/Winter Sale! Find my books and many more at

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Michael_W

Photo by Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz on Unsplash