How I Conquered Fear And You Can Too!

2020-02-182020-02-18 ~ adminlife

Getting out of your comfort zone for most is challenging, to say the least. It’s been my experience that the missing element is psychological. Too many times I’ve said to myself, ‘I don’t know HOW to do this’ and self sabotaged my brain into believing I could not do it. What I’ve come to know is this; it’s not the ‘how’ that is so important but rather the ‘why’ behind it! Get a big enough WHY and the HOW will follow!

It’s the old 80/20 rule – 80% is psychology and the remaining 20% is the mechanics. We all tend to get what we HAVE to have. It boils down to what YOU believe YOU MUST do and chose to not settle for anything less!! Turning your ‘should’s’ into ‘must’s’ and making the decision to move forward in spite of the fear.

Feel the fear and do it anyway! If you truly want to get the edge, you will need to get over your fear. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of whatever – it’s okay to make a mistake, just make sure you learn from it and avoid the same pit falls next time around.

Choose to live life on your own terms. The quality of life is the quality of your emotions on a daily basis. Control your emotions and take control of your destiny! Consider this, it’s not how long I live but rather, how I live! It’s not about your ability; it’s about why you must succeed!!

Two things to help you control your emotions, deal with your BODY and what you FOCUS on at any given moment.

1 – Body, the psychology that we are ‘in’ is driven by the physiology that we are ‘in’. Specifically, when we change our MOTION we change our EMOTION and therefore experience a change of ‘state’. It’s these ‘states’ (or emotions), that will determine our action towards any given target.

2 – Focus, what you focus on and moreover, ‘how’ you focus, plays a vital roll in your achievements (or lack thereof). We must remember, what’s wrong is always available to us but so is, what’s right! Understand that ‘problems’ are a sign of life. Want to see someone who doesn’t have any more problems? Drop by your nearest cemetery, they’re done! No more problems – and no more life!! Direct your focus, whatever you focus on you moves you towards that object or experience. There isn’t a ‘try’ – only do or not do!

I’ve noticed several things about myself that I can’t help but believe others must share in similar experiences or situations. The difference for me now, is how I choose to ‘control’ or ‘focus’ myself as situations arise. This is a broad range of things from attending a party and ‘experiencing’ my emotions, to simply taking a shower and getting ready for the day. It’s truly how I manage my ‘state’ during the situation that defines my experience!

To be more clear, it’s what I choose to focus on while showering or while at the party. If while showering I’m having thoughts of – oh no, it’s Monday again, I hate the first day of each workweek! I hate Monday’s!! I wish I could just stay home and sleep in. I have to fight the stinking traffic everyday. I wish I had another car, a bigger more fancy car.

On and on it goes and before you finish your morning shower – presto, you’re in a bad mood and ready to bite your partners head off! You’re having emotions of agitation and experiencing anxiety about going to work, all before you even get dressed to go.

I suggest and submit to you it all begins with your THOUGHTS. It’s these thoughts that begin to effect our emotions (or states) and once we LEARN how to control them, we then have a much more powerful position that will determine our actions.

Use MOTION to create EMOTION and control your results. Back to the shower scene – sing, shout, clap your hands, pretend the soap bottle (or bar) is your microphone, move briskly, breath deeply and think about good things. (Remember, you get to choose what you think about – it’s your personal power)! Wouldn’t you rather get dressed feeling good about the day ahead of you, as opposed to dreading the very next moment? Sure you would, and you get to pick your experience. It may take some practice or ‘conditioning’ on your part but it will become a ‘habit’ once you focus on training your brain and body to do so.

You can control your fear and use it as leverage to compel you towards your goals. It the courage behind the fear that builds the faith within us that makes us stronger. Esteem comes from forcing yourself to do difficult things. Therefore, causing us to broaden our comfort zones while strengthening our faith.

Can you see faith? I submit to you, we are able to see the evidence of faith. No one has ever seen the wind but it evidence is everywhere to be seen. Faith unused wanes!

The Success Brain Course

As we are all trying to be more successful in our lives, both personal and business, we need to have a success mindset. It is hard to be successful when your own self-talk is against you and your mind is not aligned with your goals.

If you want to be more successful and live the life you deserve, then you need to have a Success Brain.

While this may sound easy, unless you know what you need to accomplish, you could end up wasting your time and energy.

This course “The Success Brain” can help you to understand those areas of your own mind that are holding you back while helping you to develop a truly success brain and mindset that will guide you in your life to really become more successful.

Are You Following Your Own Path, or Someone Else’s?

2019-01-172019-01-17 ~ adminlife

It’s not easy to find your way through the world. You might have interests that don’t coincide with the values of your parents or with those of western society.

It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and while the status quo might work for the majority of the population, it doesn’t work for everyone.

To have a truly fulfilling life, you must live it on your own terms.

There are plenty of forces willing to tell you what your path should be:

Parents. Your parents want you to be happy and successful. Many of them also want to be able to brag to their friends about their children. They also don’t want to be supporting you financially when you’re in your 30’s.
- Parents tend to be practical in their advice. Just remember that you’d have a similar life to them if you followed their advice. That might be good or bad.
- Keep in mind that you are not the same as your parents. You also have your own life to live.
Educational system. The educational system wants to turn out productive people into society that conform to their ways of thinking. This might be great for society, but it might not be in your best interests.
- What if you want to be a rockstar, or take a few years to travel and write a book, own a llama farm, or become a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka? Your school guidance counselor might be less than supportive.
Society as a whole. We live in a society that values achievement, financial resources, and personal possessions. We’re supposed to get married to a beautiful partner, have a few kids, and live in the suburbs.
- It’s natural to want to play that game, even if it doesn’t quite suit our true nature. It’s nice to have the admiration of society. Our egos crave this type of recognition.
- But the type of life dictated by society isn’t a good fit for everyone. There are plenty of people that are highly successful by society’s criteria that are absolutely miserable.

Plenty of people are willing to influence your choice of lifestyle and career. It’s unlikely their advice will be optimal for you. Be an individual and find the path that works best for you.

Find and follow your own path with these strategies:

Ask yourself what you really want to do. Don’t say that you don’t know, because you do know. You’re just afraid to allow it to see the light of day. You might be concerned what others think, or you might be afraid that you’re not capable of doing it. Deep down, you know what you want.
- Ask yourself what you would do if you could do anything, and then listen to the answer.
Decide that you’re going to follow your path. One of the biggest obstacles to success is failing to make a true decision. A decision only occurs when you shut yourself off to other possibilities. If you frequently change your mind, you’re not making true decisions.
Make a plan. Set up a schedule of daily tasks that will bring you closer to living the life that you have chosen. You’re practically guaranteed success provided you don’t give up.

Your life is your responsibility. If you find yourself stuck living someone else’s definition of success, you’ll find yourself all alone. The people that influenced you to live this way will be off living their own lives.

Take control of your destiny and find your own path. Your life will be more interesting, more satisfying, and uniquely your own!

To your success

Michael W

P.S. If you are looking for a confidence program that can help you with your self development. Send me an email at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to request a copy of my “Maximum Confidence Transformation Package”. Afterwards we can arrange a discovery telephone call to discuss the package and how you can benefit further from developing your confidence level.

Feature photo used under CCO and available at https://pixabay.com/en/crossroads-path-choice-road-997123/

Trust and Confidence Go Hand-in-Hand

2018-12-112018-12-10 ~ adminlife

If you have had a difficult time trusting yourself, it may be a sign that you lack confidence. You cannot develop any trust without confidence. Feel secure in your abilities and be strong in your convictions. But, know when you are wrong as well.

The above requires you to develop confidence. That may seem scary to you. However, it’s not as difficult as you think. No one is born with confidence. It is something people learn and develop during their lives. It’s the same for you. Take steps to develop your confidence and trusting yourself will become easy.

Fear is the biggest detractor from confidence. When you give into your fears, you will diminish the chances of building up your confidence. That is something that deepens if you don’t handle it quickly. You need to face your fears head-on.

That doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind and be reckless. You should take chances but only if they won’t put your life or others’ lives in danger. You would not jump out of a plane without a parachute. Don’t make frivolous decisions, either. Confidence is about knowing the difference.

Start out with small tasks that you have been afraid to try in the past. Most outcomes will turn out better than you imagine. If you try to project what will happen, and it is always a negative outcome, you will never make any decisions. Take on those small tasks without thinking too much about what’s going to happen. That will build up your confidence as you’ve never seen before.

You should ask questions when you aren’t sure about the situations you face. Confidence is not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing where to find them and who to rely on with the knowledge that you need. It’s also about pulling the trigger when you have gathered enough information.

Confidence is about taking responsibility for your decisions and your actions. If you believe in what you are doing, you can portray that belief to others affected by your decisions. You will come across as being weak if you start blaming others when your situation doesn’t go as planned. Once this happens, others will lose faith in you. That will cause your confidence to erode, and self-doubt will take over. When you make your decisions, you own them, even if they don’t work out.

When you increase your confidence, you will automatically increase trusting yourself. Then, you can accomplish more than you ever imagined.

To your success

Michael W

Feature photo used under CCO and available at https://pixabay.com/en/fear-trust-away-straight-road-sign-441402/y-

Developing An Optimistic Attitude

2018-04-06 ~ adminlife

How’s your attitude lately? I caught myself doing something surprising a few days ago: being a pessimist!

I was working on a big project and making great progress, when suddenly I encountered a big obstacle that would take more time and energy to get through than I had anticipated. The first words out of my mouth were, “Of course, everything always goes wrong for me.” Gasp! Who said that?

I tend to think of myself as a positive person most of the time. I almost always have a smile or laugh available, and I try to look on the bright side of things. But I wasn’t always like that. I spent most of my early life stuck in negative thinking. For the past few years I’ve worked very hard on changing my mindset to a positive one, and helping others to do the same. The other day I realized just how easy it is to slip back into negative thinking again.

To be fair to myself, I was frustrated when I uttered that negative phrase. It’s understandable that we get upset when things go wrong. However, what I said simply isn’t true. Everything always goes wrong for me. At that moment, all of the hard work I’ve done on myself over the past few years vanished. I was right back where I used to spend most of my time: being a “victim.”

I like to joke that I own lakefront property in “Victimville.” 😉 But I don’t have to stay there. None of us do.

Expecting the Best

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Expect the Best, but Prepare for the Worst.” Do you really expect the best? Or are you just waiting for something negative to happen so you can say, “Everything always goes wrong for me.” Isn’t preparing for the worst the same as expecting the worst?

We can’t expect the best AND the worst. We have to choose. In my moment of frustration, I was expecting the worst. Once I realized what I was doing, I decided to change it around. One obstacle does not mean my whole project is ruined. It just means I might have to work a little harder, or a little longer to reach my goal. What’s the big deal? At that moment, the big deal was that I wouldn’t achieve the outcome I was expecting, in the timeframe I expected to do it. Ah, notice the word “expect” sprinkled throughout that statement. How often do our expectations get us into trouble? For most of us, quite often!

So I uttered a phrase that would cancel out my previous negative one: It’s all good. Whether I meet my goals or not, it’s all good. Even if more obstacles come up, it’s still all good. Everything happens exactly when it’s meant to. That phrase has the power to relieve all pressure and stress, if we allow it to.

Reinforcing Positive Thoughts

The truth is, positive thinking takes consistent effort. It would be great if we could “fix” our negative thinking once and for all, and never have to worry about it again. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. We have the tendency to form habits around our most common routines, whether physical or mental. In order to change negative thinking into positive thinking, we need to work at it constantly.

There are two ways to do this:

Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones – It takes practice, but you can actually catch yourself thinking negative thoughts. Begin to form an awareness of when this happens. Because I’ve been working at this for so long, I immediately noticed when I uttered that negative phrase. If you are new to positive thinking, it might take some time for you to notice when negative thoughts come barging in. When you do notice them, immediately question the thought. Is it really true? Does it accurately reflect your reality? Even if it does, you can still choose something else. What reality would you like to create? Then form a positive statement that will cancel out the negative one. Every time you come across a negative thought, go through this same inner process. Question the negative thought and then replace it with a positive one.

Preventative maintenance – You don’t have to wait for negative thoughts to come up in order to start thinking more positively. Make it a habit to purposely feed your mind positive thoughts each day — several times a day. Keep it simple. Say things like, “I am a good person.” — “I love my life.” — “I’m good at what I do.” — “I make my own good luck.” — “I choose to be happy.” — and my personal favorite, “It’s all good.”

At first you might not really believe these positive thoughts, and that’s okay. Keep at it. Say them as if you really did mean them, and eventually you will begin to believe it. Remember that our negative thinking patterns are a result of YEARS of reinforcement. Changing negative thinking patterns to positive ones takes time.

I’m in this journey with you, you are not alone. Remember that it IS a journey. We don’t have to rush to the finish line, we just need to enjoy the scenery. It’s all good — really! 🙂

To your success

Michael W

Benefits of Optimism

2017-03-29 ~ adminlife

Top 10 Tangible Benefits of Optimism

There are two general attitudes you can hold: Pessimism and optimism. Pessimists have poorer long-term results than optimists. Optimists are healthier, happier, and more successful. If you’ve been accused of being pessimistic, rethink your perspective. Optimism is a more enjoyable way to live.

Optimism has many advantages over pessimism:

You’ll excel. When learning a new skill, studies have shown that optimistic people tend to overestimate their current skill level. However, those that are optimistic ultimately learn a new skill at a higher level. Those that most accurately judge their abilities at the beginning fail to learn as well as those that are more optimistic.

Strengthen your health. Optimistic people have been shown to have healthier blood sugar and cholesterol levels. They’re also more likely to exercise and less likely to smoke. Optimists carry less body fat, too.
Lower stress. When you expect good things to happen, there are fewer reasons to experience stress. In fact, when things go wrong, optimistic people are more likely to view the mishap as an opportunity for something bigger and better to happen.
Uplift your mood. Your attitude affects all aspects of your life. Adopting an optimistic perspective might be the easiest way to lift your attitude.
Make more friends. Others appreciate your optimism. When you have positive expectations, you positively affect the mood of those around you. You’ll find yourself with more friends and have greater influence over others. The people you like the most are those that make you feel the best. Your optimism benefits others.
It’s the most effective option. Pessimism doesn’t have much to offer. It’s damaging to your health, mood, and results. Others avoid pessimists. Why would you choose to be anything other than optimistic? What other intelligent option do you have?
Optimists dare themselves to be great. Pessimists are too afraid to try new things or take the risks that are necessary for higher levels of success. Optimists are in a better position to pursue and achieve greatness.
Boost your immune system. Or maybe pessimism suppresses your immune system. Either way, you’ll get sick less frequently if you have a positive outlook on life. You might even spend less at the doctor’s office.
Live longer. You’re more likely to live to be 100 years old if you’re optimistic. Interviews with centenarians consistently demonstrate an optimistic attitude about the future. Optimism is one of the most enjoyable ways to extend longevity. An optimistic attitude might allow you to spend time with your great grandchildren.
Make smarter decisions under pressure. This can be helpful at work and in your personal life. When you deal with stress more effectively, you can make wiser decisions. When you expect a negative outcome, your decisions will be mostly defensive in nature.

Optimism has a lot to offer. You’re hurting your future, yourself, and those around you by being pessimistic. Optimism is free and it feels good. Your health, success, and mental health are all enhanced when you hold a positive viewpoint. Let go of your pessimism and view the world from an enthusiastic perspective. You’ll be glad you did!

To your success.

Michael W