Change sounds exciting. A better life. New possibilities. More confidence. But the hard truth is that many people say they want change while subconsciously doing everything they can to stay exactly where they are.
They buy the courses. They build the website. They dream about starting fresh. But when it’s time to actually begin, fear rushes in like a flood, and suddenly there’s a reason to delay — again.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
This isn’t laziness. It’s fear in disguise. And until it’s addressed, change will always remain just out of reach.
The Illusion of Wanting Change
On the surface, it looks like you’re working toward your goals. You might be:
- Researching endlessly
- Investing in tools or coaching
- Planning out every detail
But when the moment to act comes — when you need to hit “publish,” schedule the meeting or show up for the first real step — something stops you.
That something is fear.
The Real Reason You’re Not Changing
Fear is a master of disguise. It doesn’t always scream. Often, it whispers:
- What if you fail?
- What if you succeed, and can’t handle it?
- What will people think of you?
This internal resistance can be stronger than any external challenge. The mind chooses safety — even if safety is miserable — over the unknown. It tricks you into staying put.
And so the cycle continues: you plan, get excited, then stall. Again and again.
This creates frustration, guilt and shame — which only deepens the pattern. Over time, it wears down your self-esteem and convinces you you’re not cut out for more.
But that’s a lie. And it’s time to break the cycle.
Recognize the Signs
If this sounds like your life, you’re not alone. Many people live mostly in their heads — dreaming, doubting and stalling while looking “busy.” They’re surrounded by friends but feel isolated. They feel stuck, not because they lack potential, but because they’re afraid of what stepping into that potential might mean.
Recognizing this is step one. The next step? Doing something that fear can’t fight.
The Breakthrough: Stop Focusing on Yourself
Here’s the shift: focus less on what you want to change for you, and more on how your actions can impact others.
One of the fastest ways to get out of your own head is to help someone else. Volunteer. Support a cause. Mentor someone. Do anything that requires your energy, attention and follow-through — for the benefit of someone who needs you.
Why does this work?
Because when people depend on you, you show up.
Helping others pulls you out of the loop of self-criticism and into purposeful action. It boosts your self-worth not by thinking better thoughts — but by proving to yourself that you make a difference.
Purpose > Perfection
When you work for someone else’s benefit, perfection fades into the background. What matters is showing up. Following through. Being present. Taking action.
As you do this, your anxiety lowers and your confidence grows. You’re not overthinking. You’re doing. And with every helpful action, your fear shrinks, your self-esteem rises, and you gain momentum.
Over time, this becomes your new normal: showing up, taking action and making an impact.
Discovering Fulfillment Through Action
Here’s the most powerful part: once you begin to act — consistently — for the good of others, you start feeling something you may not have felt in a long time.
Fulfillment.
Helping others fills a part of your spirit that nothing else can. It makes your work matter. It gives meaning to your skills. And when you realize your actions are creating real change in real lives, the anxiety, perfectionism and self-doubt that once ruled your life start to fall away.
You see yourself differently. You feel different. Because you are different.
Make a Decision — Then Follow Through
Change happens when you decide to act. Not just once — but again and again.
Your path forward isn’t found in endless preparation. It’s found in doing. Even imperfectly.
Yes, you’ll make mistakes. Yes, you’ll have doubts. But mistakes can be fixed. Doubt can be challenged. What matters most is that you keep making decisions and taking steps.
Stuck is a choice. So is forward.
You Only Get One Life
This isn’t a rehearsal. You don’t get a second round. This is your life, and you deserve to live it with purpose, passion and confidence.
Waiting for the perfect moment means you’ll wait forever. Instead, decide now to start where you are. Use what you have. Focus on who you can help. And keep going.
Change won’t happen instantly. But if you act in spite of fear, consistently, your future will look very different — because you will be different.
Others Will Notice What You Don’t
Here’s a truth most people overlook: you won’t always see your own transformation. But others will.
People will tell you you seem stronger. Braver. More alive. More “you.”
That’s because helping others doesn’t just change their lives — it reveals your true self. The part of you that isn’t held back by fear. The part that’s been waiting to lead. The part that finally knows: you’re more than enough.
And when you live from that place, change isn’t hard. It’s natural.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
