Speak up – Tips to help you learn to speak up for yourself

2021-03-28 ~ adminlife

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are desperate to jump in and say your piece, but instead, you stew in silence? If you can relate to this, you might have trouble speaking up. This is a serious issue. If you aren’t willing or able to speak up for yourself, rest assured that no one else will either. No concerns, issues, questions, or solutions you might have in your head will ever materialize if you can’t speak up at the right time. If you’d like to be the type of person who speaks up when their best interests are at stake, please consider these nine tips.

Know What You Stand For

When you take the time to figure out what matters to you, you will be more likely to speak up on those interests. Knowing what’s important is a good way to figure out when you should speak up versus staying quiet.

Be Ready

If you struggle speaking up, trying to wing it at the moment is going to be intimidating. Make sure you plan and prepare yourself in advance whenever possible. If you have a meeting you know you want to bring something up, then have all your talking points ready.

Start Small

One of the only ways to get over an inability to speak up is to start doing it. It might be too intimidating to start on a grand scale, so try and start small. An example of starting small would be speaking up in a one-on-one situation.

Write Down What You Want to Say

Some people are much better at writing their thoughts than verbally expressing them. While you can’t hand in a paper during a big work meeting, having your thoughts written down already will give you time to practice your delivery.

Find An Early Opening

The longer you sit in silence, the harder it will be for you to speak up. You will give your mind too much time to create a bunch of excuses why you shouldn’t. Also, finding an early opening ensures you have the time to get your point across.

Recognize It’s Hard but Worthwhile

It doesn’t help for you to pretend speaking up is easy. Acknowledge that it will be a challenge, but realize it will be worth it. Research into “Realistic Optimism” has shown that people are more likely to follow through if they expect a task to be challenging. https://hbr.org/2011/05/be-an-optimist-without-being-a

Your Voice Deserves to Be Heard

You have a unique voice, outlook ad understanding of things. Your thoughts and opinions are important and valuable. If you can’t accept and believe this, you will never be able to speak up for yourself.

Stop Worrying About Others’ Thoughts

It’s perfectly fine to consider other people’s feelings before you speak. However, it’s important not to go overboard. Don’t worry about everyone else agreeing with you or looking stupid. If you have something important to say, then say it.

Learn the Art of Diplomacy

Sometimes it’s best to be as direct and blunt as possible. Other times, it can help you to be a bit more diplomatic. The less aggressive you have to be, the easier you will find it to speak up for yourself.

Action Steps

Make a list of times where you didn’t speak out and you should have. Note how each time may have negatively impacted you.
Think about an important issue you are dealing with, and devise a way to speak up about it.
The next time you feel the urge to speak up about something, just jump right in and do it. It could be as simple as correcting a server who misheard your order.

You now have 9 tips and 3 action steps that can help you to speak up and have your opinions heard. If you don’t speak up for yourself, someone else will do it for you.

If you want to learn even more about becoming empowered, connect with me for a 15-minute “Get to know you call.” https://calendly.com/michael-coach/15-minute-get-to-know-you

This call can be your first step to becoming more confident in your ability to speak up which can lead to an even greater sense of empowerment

To your success

Michael

Image by Z RAINEY from Pixabay

Communicate More Clearly

2020-05-292020-05-29 ~ adminlife

The ability to communicate clearly is essential in your professional and personal life. Without clear communication misunderstandings occur. If you want to get ahead in life, then use the 10 tips below to improve your communication skills.

Keep It Simple:
Whether you are communicating verbally or in writing the key is to keep what you are trying to communicate plain, simple and easy to understand. You don’t need to overwhelm your audience with fancy language or technical jargon unless you are giving an academic talk and it is totally necessary.
Make Notes:
Creating notes will help you plan what you want to say. You’ll be able to ensure that you include all the points you want to make but that you eliminate anything that is totally unnecessary. When giving a speech your notes will keep you on point throughout and avoid you going blank.
Engaged Listening:
Surprisingly being an engaged listener is an important communication skill. It ensures that the speaker knows that you are both listening and interested in what they are saying. Additionally, it will help you to give an informed response as you will be able to demonstrate that you have listened and understood what was said.
Body Language:
Your body can say things that your voice isn’t; including the exact opposite! If you want to ensure that you are giving the right impression and message, then you need to make sure that you stand upright with your head high and shoulders back. Don’t cross your arms as this will put a block between you and the person you are talking to.
Be Confident:
Confidence is a state of mind and it is something that you can create. There are many ways you can increase your self-confidence. Consider using affirmations and visualization on a daily basis or use hypnosis, coaching or neuro linguistic programming.
Small Talk:
If you find yourself struggling to communicate effectively during social situations, you can use the FORD technique to help you get a meaningful conversation started. FORD stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. Using this technique, you’ll no longer have to feel tongue tied when you meet strangers.
Use Eye Contact:
Using eye contact correctly can really improve your communication. Your audience will feel a greater connection with you and so listen more intently. Holding attention is a key skill of a great communicator. Remember to be natural and not to stare as that will have a negative impact.
Pause:
Before you start talking or reply, take a breath and pause. This gives you time to think about how you want to respond, calm your emotions and manage your tone of voice. By using a pause, you can make sure that you respond in the way you mean to, instead of saying the wrong thing.

Ask Questions:
This will show that you are listening to the other person and that you are paying close attention to what they are saying. You will also increase the sense of rapport between you. By asking questions you ensure that you understand what is said and can respond appropriately. If necessary, don’t be afraid to repeat back what the speaker has said to increase your understanding.
‘Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say’
That old saying contains very sage advice. By ensuring that you follow it you will avoid misunderstandings and your message will be relayed with clarity. Of course you’ll find on occasion that you need to be assertive and prepared to stick to your guns. However, the upside is you will gain the other person’s respect if you are honest and tactful.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

1	2	3
Pause before you speak. Use the time to breathe and think about what you are going to say as well as how you will say it.	Change your posture so that you are standing or sitting tall, shoulders back and head high. Don’t cross your arms or legs. Make sure your shoulders aren’t stiff but relaxed and you’ll find yourself feeling open and confident.	Make notes containing all the important points for calls, messages, emails or letters you need to make. That way you won’t forget what you want to say and you will feel more confident communicating.

You may also want to use the information in the following books:

If you would like a PDF copy of the report click here>> “Communicate More Clearly“

Additional Tips To Help You Cope in These Difficult Times

2020-05-042020-05-04 ~ adminlife

Hello;

During these unusual times, many people have been working from home which poses some different issues that may not come up at the office.

In order to help you cope with the changes in your work life as well as your home life,I have gathered together some reports related to working from home and other areas in your life that may be causing you to have concerns and doubts about the future.

Each report is being given away. I want as many people as possible to have access to these tips and use them to create a better more enjoyable life for themselves and their families.

Here are the reports:

Tips to Make You Look Good During Your Online Meetings: Today’s world is smaller and more intimate than at any time in history. Even if you aren’t the type of person who embraces change, you probably recognize that it’s easier to stay in contact with loved ones than ever before. Anyone can just hop on a video call and get some face time with friends or family. If you want to get more comfortable staying connected through technology, then follow the tips given in the report.

Tips for Dealing with Unpredictability in Your Life: Unpredictability is a part of all of our lives. On some level, we all have to deal with it. No matter how much we plan and prepare, we don’t know what tomorrow brings. For some of us, this is a terrifying thought. For others, the mystery is one of the best things about life. No matter which group you fall in, the nine tips in this report will help you deal with your unpredictable life.

Becoming Successful by Overcoming Adversity: It’s not what happens in life that defines you but how you deal with your situations. You have heard by now the phrase when life gives you lemons turn them into lemonade. This is true today as it was whenever the first person coined the phrase. Use the tips in this report to help you turn adversity into success.

Stop Burnout Before it Stops You: Burnout is a real problem and it affects many people. It can be quite debilitating, too! There are ways to help you reduce burnout from happening.

These short reports contain useful tips that you can use right now that can help to alleviate the stress that you are feeling as well as keep you productive when you are working away from the office.

You can download all 4 reports by clicking here> 4 Productivity and Life Success Reports.

These reports are FREE as my way of helping people cope with the present situation. The information will also be useful once things return to a sense of normalcy as well.

Want to Increase Your Personal Magnetism? Pay Attention to Your Body Language

2019-02-272019-02-27 ~ adminlife

When you enter a room full of people that you don’t know, and you see some people with their arms crossed, do you approach those people? How about people that look your way and smile? If you said no to the first question and yes to the second, it’s because of a subconscious force at play: body language.

Paying attention to your body language is a crucial aspect of increasing your personal magnetism. People inherently pick up on those signals without much of a thought. They don’t say to themselves, “this guy has his arms crossed so I am not going to approach him.” They simply move on.

There are plenty of books, guides, and seminars that can help us learn more about our own body language. But some of the basics have already been covered; don’t cross your arms if you want people to approach you and make eye contact as often as possible and be sure to smile. These are three of the major ways to improve your body language to make yourself more approachable.

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Another way to learn how to use body language to your advantage is to observe people who you are naturally drawn to. Pay attention to the kinds of movements they use as they speak to you. Are they crossing their arms or are they using their hands to express themselves? Perhaps they give you the occasional touch on the shoulder when making a certain statement. Are they focusing their eyes on you and giving you their undivided attention? These are all traits of charismatic people and can be used to increase your magnetism.

Take a look at how others are reacting when you speak. Are they distracted or are they hanging on your every word? If they are checking their smartphones every couple of minutes, you may have some work to do. If they ask you to repeat what you said often, this too is a sign that you should hone in on your body language signals.

Start with small changes. Don’t try to incorporate every change in body language all at once. It will seem too contrived and will not be effective. Continue to observe others you find charismatic and try to incorporate the actions that they use when talking to people. If you are consistent with your changes, they will become second nature over time and people will definitely start being more drawn to you.

To your success

Michael W

P.S. If you are looking for a confidence program that can help you with your self development. Send me an email at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to request a copy of my “Maximum Confidence Transformation Package”. Afterwards we can arrange a discovery telephone call to discuss the package and how you can benefit further from developing your confidence level.

Feature photo used under CCO and available at Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

It’s Natural for People to Make Mistakes

2018-12-152018-12-10 ~ adminlife

Have you ever made a mistake? It’s not likely that you went as far in your life without making any mistakes. Most people (if not all) make them. Also, they will continue to make them. It’s part of the human experience.

Sometimes, people make mistakes that will put you in difficult positions. For instance, suppose you own a company and one of your workers mistakenly misrepresented your company. You know that your company is responsible for that misrepresentation. The person may not have known they made a mistake.

Your first reaction may be to fire the person. In some cases, you would be justified in doing so. However, did the person have the necessary knowledge to prevent him or her from misinforming others? If not, you need to consider that regarding the situation.

If people deliberately took adverse action, then that is a different situation. If they did know what they were doing, and they had malicious intent, then you are within your right to let them go. You should make sure that they were acting maliciously, however.

There are no easy answers when people make major mistakes. They may not be able to make it right, either. You will be left to deal with the consequences. It is easy to lash out at the person responsible. Of course, you should give them the opportunity to rectify it if they can.

The way some people deal with the situation of others making mistakes is to reflect on their own mistakes. This way, you can empathize with them. When that happens, you’ll be less likely to lash out at them and make the wrong decisions.

There are situations where people make the same mistakes repeatedly, even when you give them guidance on how not to make those mistakes. That is tough as these people may not be acting maliciously but may not have the ability to change. For instance, not everyone is cut out with their chosen vocations. In these situations, you need to weigh whether the mistakes they make have a serious impact. Even small impacts can add up when repeated.

When people make mistakes, and you forgive them, they will be appreciative. Many of these people will use your forgiveness as a means to grow. They become better people because of it. You will feel good knowing that these people have used the situation to their advantage.

To your success

Michael W

Feature photo used under CCO and available at https://pixabay.com/en/mistakes-failures-opportunity-2460576/