Why Having Difficult Conversations Is Worth It

2024-02-07 ~ adminlife

We’ve all been there, that sinking feeling when someone utters those dreaded words, “We need to talk.” Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and a knot forms in your stomach. It’s like being on a rollercoaster that only goes down. But why do we dread these difficult conversations so much?

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

The answer is simple. We’re afraid. Afraid of confrontation, of hurting feelings, of escalating arguments. But here’s the kicker – avoiding these tough talks is like trying to sweep dust under the rug. It doesn’t disappear; it just piles up until it becomes a mountain of problems.

The Unavoidable Truth

Whether it’s a personal relationship or a business matter, difficult conversations are as inevitable as the sun rising in the east. So, why not embrace them? Here’s why:

The problem doesn’t vanish into thin air. Imagine you have a wound on your arm that’s infected. You can cover it up with a band-aid or hide it under a long-sleeved shirt, but does it disappear? Of course not! It’s the same with problems. They don’t vanish by ignoring them; they disappear when you confront them head-on.
You broaden your horizons. We all believe we’re right in a disagreement. But engaging in a challenging conversation opens your mind to a different viewpoint. It’s like taking a walk in someone else’s shoes. You come out of the conversation with a wider worldview and perhaps, some necessary improvements.
You own up to your mistakes. Let’s be honest, no problem is one-sided. When you’re open to difficult conversations, you acknowledge your part in the issue. This humility can be sensed by the other person, making them more likely to be open, honest, and accepting of their part in the matter. It’s like a two-way street leading to faster solutions.
You become a pro at tackling tough talks. Difficult conversations are like weeds; they pop up everywhere. The more you have, the better you get at handling them. It’s like learning to ride a bike; the more you practice, the better you get. Your communication skills improve, and you learn to diffuse tense situations, making everyone feel at ease.
You build stronger relationships. All relationships have their ups and downs. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. But when you learn to navigate through the rough patches, you strengthen your bonds. It’s like turning coal into diamonds under pressure. Even in awkward situations, you learn to be yourself, fostering stronger and healthier relationships.

The Power of Conversation

Resentment is like a pot of boiling water; it festers when problems are left in the dark. So, why not bring them into the light? Talking things out is like opening a window to let fresh air in. It gives you a better understanding of the problem, making it easier to find a solution.

So, the next time you’re hesitating to have a difficult conversation, don’t let fear hold you back. It’s like standing at the edge of a diving board; the first step is the hardest. But once you dive in, you’ll wonder what you were so afraid of.

Maintain your composure, breathe, and talk. It may go your way, or it may not. But remember, it’s not about winning or losing; it’s about understanding and resolving. And in the end, the result will be worth the effort. After all, as they say, “No pain, no gain.”

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 45-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. I am offering a free, no obligation Wheel of Life consulting and exercise session for three people each day. You can book the session at https://calendly.com/michael-coach/focused-program-45-minute

Photo by cottonbro studio

Speak up – Tips to help you learn to speak up for yourself

2021-03-28 ~ adminlife

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are desperate to jump in and say your piece, but instead, you stew in silence? If you can relate to this, you might have trouble speaking up. This is a serious issue. If you aren’t willing or able to speak up for yourself, rest assured that no one else will either. No concerns, issues, questions, or solutions you might have in your head will ever materialize if you can’t speak up at the right time. If you’d like to be the type of person who speaks up when their best interests are at stake, please consider these nine tips.

Know What You Stand For

When you take the time to figure out what matters to you, you will be more likely to speak up on those interests. Knowing what’s important is a good way to figure out when you should speak up versus staying quiet.

Be Ready

If you struggle speaking up, trying to wing it at the moment is going to be intimidating. Make sure you plan and prepare yourself in advance whenever possible. If you have a meeting you know you want to bring something up, then have all your talking points ready.

Start Small

One of the only ways to get over an inability to speak up is to start doing it. It might be too intimidating to start on a grand scale, so try and start small. An example of starting small would be speaking up in a one-on-one situation.

Write Down What You Want to Say

Some people are much better at writing their thoughts than verbally expressing them. While you can’t hand in a paper during a big work meeting, having your thoughts written down already will give you time to practice your delivery.

Find An Early Opening

The longer you sit in silence, the harder it will be for you to speak up. You will give your mind too much time to create a bunch of excuses why you shouldn’t. Also, finding an early opening ensures you have the time to get your point across.

Recognize It’s Hard but Worthwhile

It doesn’t help for you to pretend speaking up is easy. Acknowledge that it will be a challenge, but realize it will be worth it. Research into “Realistic Optimism” has shown that people are more likely to follow through if they expect a task to be challenging. https://hbr.org/2011/05/be-an-optimist-without-being-a

Your Voice Deserves to Be Heard

You have a unique voice, outlook ad understanding of things. Your thoughts and opinions are important and valuable. If you can’t accept and believe this, you will never be able to speak up for yourself.

Stop Worrying About Others’ Thoughts

It’s perfectly fine to consider other people’s feelings before you speak. However, it’s important not to go overboard. Don’t worry about everyone else agreeing with you or looking stupid. If you have something important to say, then say it.

Learn the Art of Diplomacy

Sometimes it’s best to be as direct and blunt as possible. Other times, it can help you to be a bit more diplomatic. The less aggressive you have to be, the easier you will find it to speak up for yourself.

Action Steps

Make a list of times where you didn’t speak out and you should have. Note how each time may have negatively impacted you.
Think about an important issue you are dealing with, and devise a way to speak up about it.
The next time you feel the urge to speak up about something, just jump right in and do it. It could be as simple as correcting a server who misheard your order.

You now have 9 tips and 3 action steps that can help you to speak up and have your opinions heard. If you don’t speak up for yourself, someone else will do it for you.

If you want to learn even more about becoming empowered, connect with me for a 15-minute “Get to know you call.” https://calendly.com/michael-coach/15-minute-get-to-know-you

This call can be your first step to becoming more confident in your ability to speak up which can lead to an even greater sense of empowerment

To your success

Michael

Image by Z RAINEY from Pixabay

Communicate More Clearly

2020-05-292020-05-29 ~ adminlife

The ability to communicate clearly is essential in your professional and personal life. Without clear communication misunderstandings occur. If you want to get ahead in life, then use the 10 tips below to improve your communication skills.

Keep It Simple:
Whether you are communicating verbally or in writing the key is to keep what you are trying to communicate plain, simple and easy to understand. You don’t need to overwhelm your audience with fancy language or technical jargon unless you are giving an academic talk and it is totally necessary.
Make Notes:
Creating notes will help you plan what you want to say. You’ll be able to ensure that you include all the points you want to make but that you eliminate anything that is totally unnecessary. When giving a speech your notes will keep you on point throughout and avoid you going blank.
Engaged Listening:
Surprisingly being an engaged listener is an important communication skill. It ensures that the speaker knows that you are both listening and interested in what they are saying. Additionally, it will help you to give an informed response as you will be able to demonstrate that you have listened and understood what was said.
Body Language:
Your body can say things that your voice isn’t; including the exact opposite! If you want to ensure that you are giving the right impression and message, then you need to make sure that you stand upright with your head high and shoulders back. Don’t cross your arms as this will put a block between you and the person you are talking to.
Be Confident:
Confidence is a state of mind and it is something that you can create. There are many ways you can increase your self-confidence. Consider using affirmations and visualization on a daily basis or use hypnosis, coaching or neuro linguistic programming.
Small Talk:
If you find yourself struggling to communicate effectively during social situations, you can use the FORD technique to help you get a meaningful conversation started. FORD stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. Using this technique, you’ll no longer have to feel tongue tied when you meet strangers.
Use Eye Contact:
Using eye contact correctly can really improve your communication. Your audience will feel a greater connection with you and so listen more intently. Holding attention is a key skill of a great communicator. Remember to be natural and not to stare as that will have a negative impact.
Pause:
Before you start talking or reply, take a breath and pause. This gives you time to think about how you want to respond, calm your emotions and manage your tone of voice. By using a pause, you can make sure that you respond in the way you mean to, instead of saying the wrong thing.

Ask Questions:
This will show that you are listening to the other person and that you are paying close attention to what they are saying. You will also increase the sense of rapport between you. By asking questions you ensure that you understand what is said and can respond appropriately. If necessary, don’t be afraid to repeat back what the speaker has said to increase your understanding.
‘Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say’
That old saying contains very sage advice. By ensuring that you follow it you will avoid misunderstandings and your message will be relayed with clarity. Of course you’ll find on occasion that you need to be assertive and prepared to stick to your guns. However, the upside is you will gain the other person’s respect if you are honest and tactful.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

1	2	3
Pause before you speak. Use the time to breathe and think about what you are going to say as well as how you will say it.	Change your posture so that you are standing or sitting tall, shoulders back and head high. Don’t cross your arms or legs. Make sure your shoulders aren’t stiff but relaxed and you’ll find yourself feeling open and confident.	Make notes containing all the important points for calls, messages, emails or letters you need to make. That way you won’t forget what you want to say and you will feel more confident communicating.

You may also want to use the information in the following books:

If you would like a PDF copy of the report click here>> “Communicate More Clearly“

Additional Tips To Help You Cope in These Difficult Times

2020-05-042020-05-04 ~ adminlife

Hello;

During these unusual times, many people have been working from home which poses some different issues that may not come up at the office.

In order to help you cope with the changes in your work life as well as your home life,I have gathered together some reports related to working from home and other areas in your life that may be causing you to have concerns and doubts about the future.

Each report is being given away. I want as many people as possible to have access to these tips and use them to create a better more enjoyable life for themselves and their families.

Here are the reports:

Tips to Make You Look Good During Your Online Meetings: Today’s world is smaller and more intimate than at any time in history. Even if you aren’t the type of person who embraces change, you probably recognize that it’s easier to stay in contact with loved ones than ever before. Anyone can just hop on a video call and get some face time with friends or family. If you want to get more comfortable staying connected through technology, then follow the tips given in the report.

Tips for Dealing with Unpredictability in Your Life: Unpredictability is a part of all of our lives. On some level, we all have to deal with it. No matter how much we plan and prepare, we don’t know what tomorrow brings. For some of us, this is a terrifying thought. For others, the mystery is one of the best things about life. No matter which group you fall in, the nine tips in this report will help you deal with your unpredictable life.

Becoming Successful by Overcoming Adversity: It’s not what happens in life that defines you but how you deal with your situations. You have heard by now the phrase when life gives you lemons turn them into lemonade. This is true today as it was whenever the first person coined the phrase. Use the tips in this report to help you turn adversity into success.

Stop Burnout Before it Stops You: Burnout is a real problem and it affects many people. It can be quite debilitating, too! There are ways to help you reduce burnout from happening.

These short reports contain useful tips that you can use right now that can help to alleviate the stress that you are feeling as well as keep you productive when you are working away from the office.

You can download all 4 reports by clicking here> 4 Productivity and Life Success Reports.

These reports are FREE as my way of helping people cope with the present situation. The information will also be useful once things return to a sense of normalcy as well.

Want to Increase Your Personal Magnetism? Pay Attention to Your Body Language

2019-02-272019-02-27 ~ adminlife

When you enter a room full of people that you don’t know, and you see some people with their arms crossed, do you approach those people? How about people that look your way and smile? If you said no to the first question and yes to the second, it’s because of a subconscious force at play: body language.

Paying attention to your body language is a crucial aspect of increasing your personal magnetism. People inherently pick up on those signals without much of a thought. They don’t say to themselves, “this guy has his arms crossed so I am not going to approach him.” They simply move on.

There are plenty of books, guides, and seminars that can help us learn more about our own body language. But some of the basics have already been covered; don’t cross your arms if you want people to approach you and make eye contact as often as possible and be sure to smile. These are three of the major ways to improve your body language to make yourself more approachable.

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Another way to learn how to use body language to your advantage is to observe people who you are naturally drawn to. Pay attention to the kinds of movements they use as they speak to you. Are they crossing their arms or are they using their hands to express themselves? Perhaps they give you the occasional touch on the shoulder when making a certain statement. Are they focusing their eyes on you and giving you their undivided attention? These are all traits of charismatic people and can be used to increase your magnetism.

Take a look at how others are reacting when you speak. Are they distracted or are they hanging on your every word? If they are checking their smartphones every couple of minutes, you may have some work to do. If they ask you to repeat what you said often, this too is a sign that you should hone in on your body language signals.

Start with small changes. Don’t try to incorporate every change in body language all at once. It will seem too contrived and will not be effective. Continue to observe others you find charismatic and try to incorporate the actions that they use when talking to people. If you are consistent with your changes, they will become second nature over time and people will definitely start being more drawn to you.

To your success

Michael W

P.S. If you are looking for a confidence program that can help you with your self development. Send me an email at michael@youaresuccesslifecoach.com to request a copy of my “Maximum Confidence Transformation Package”. Afterwards we can arrange a discovery telephone call to discuss the package and how you can benefit further from developing your confidence level.

Feature photo used under CCO and available at Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels