Talk it out with your support network

2024-10-08 ~ adminlife

Have you ever found yourself burdened by a problem that seemed too heavy to carry on your own? It’s during these moments that talking it out with a friend can make all the difference. Self-doubt can be isolating, but sharing your thoughts with someone you trust can help lighten the load and offer a fresh perspective. Sometimes, all you need is a caring ear and some reassurance to help you see things more clearly and regain your confidence.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

When you’re caught in the throes of self-doubt, your mind can become a maze of worries and fears. These thoughts can spiral, making it difficult to see a way out. But when you talk to a friend, you bring those thoughts out into the open, where they can be examined more objectively. Friends often have the ability to see things we can’t, offering insights or encouragement that can break the cycle of doubt.

A trusted friend can offer a different perspective, one that’s not clouded by your own fears or insecurities. They can remind you of your strengths, achievements, and the times when you’ve overcome similar challenges in the past. This can be incredibly reassuring, especially when you’re struggling to see your own capabilities clearly. Sometimes, just hearing someone else say, “You’ve got this,” is enough to push self-doubt aside and motivate you to take action.

Beyond offering perspective, talking with a friend also allows you to release the tension that self-doubt creates. Keeping your doubts bottled up can make them feel bigger and more overwhelming. But when you talk about them, you often realize they’re not as insurmountable as they seemed. The simple act of voicing your concerns can make them feel more manageable. It’s as if saying them out loud diminishes their power over you.

Moreover, friends can offer practical advice or solutions that you might not have considered. When you’re deep in self-doubt, it can be hard to think clearly or come up with strategies to move forward. A friend, however, can offer suggestions, share their own experiences, or even help you brainstorm ways to tackle the issue at hand. This collaborative approach not only helps you find solutions but also reinforces the idea that you don’t have to face challenges alone.

Actionable Step: The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by self-doubt, reach out to a trusted friend or confidant. Start by explaining what’s been on your mind and how it’s been affecting you. Be open and honest about your feelings, even if it feels uncomfortable. Then, listen to their feedback without dismissing it. Often, our first instinct is to downplay or reject positive feedback, but try to take in what they’re saying. If they offer advice or solutions, consider them carefully and think about how you might apply them to your situation. Remember, the goal is not just to vent, but to gain a fresh perspective and actionable insights that can help you move forward.

While it’s important to be self-reliant, there’s no shame in seeking support from those who care about you. In fact, asking for help when you need it is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you’re proactive about managing your self-doubt and that you value the insights and experiences of others. Plus, these conversations often strengthen your relationships, as your friend will appreciate being trusted and valued.

It’s also worth noting that you don’t always need to wait until you’re feeling overwhelmed to talk to a friend. Regularly sharing your thoughts and feelings with those you trust can help you stay grounded and prevent self-doubt from building up in the first place. By maintaining open lines of communication, you create a support system that can help you navigate challenges as they arise, rather than dealing with them alone.

Talking it out with a friend is a powerful tool in the battle against self-doubt. It helps you gain clarity, receive support, and find practical solutions to the challenges you’re facing. So, the next time self-doubt starts to weigh you down, don’t hesitate to reach out. You might be surprised at how much lighter you feel after a good conversation with someone who genuinely cares about your well-being.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 45-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Photo by Baruk Granda on Unsplash

Mastering the Art of Discretion: Strategies to Avoid Oversharing

2024-06-05 ~ adminlife

In an era where social media platforms are flooded with personal anecdotes and intimate details, the distinction between sharing and oversharing has become increasingly blurred. Many individuals find themselves divulging more information than necessary, not only online but also in personal conversations. While authenticity and openness can foster connections, excessive sharing may lead to discomfort or unintended consequences.

Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

Understanding Oversharing

Oversharing occurs when individuals share personal information in inappropriate contexts or to an extent that exceeds societal norms. This behaviour is prevalent both on digital platforms and in face-to-face interactions. It is crucial to recognize the fine line between being open and respecting one’s own privacy and that of others.

Reasons Behind Oversharing

Seeking Validation: Some individuals share personal details to elicit sympathy or support from others.
Habitual Behaviour: For others, oversharing might be a conversational habit developed over time.
Lack of Awareness: Sometimes, people simply do not realize that they are sharing too much information.

Strategies to Curtail Oversharing

Implementing specific strategies can help maintain a healthy balance between being communicative and preserving personal boundaries.

Reflect on the Motivations for Sharing

Self-awareness: Consider why you feel the urge to share certain details. Are you looking for validation, or perhaps attempting to connect with others on a deeper level?
Appropriateness: Assess whether the information is suitable for the audience and the setting.

Practice Active Listening

Focus on Others: By concentrating on listening rather than speaking, you can engage more thoughtfully and avoid dominating the conversation.
Build Better Conversations: Active listening encourages a mutual exchange of ideas instead of one-sided dialogues.

Be Concise and Relevant

Economy of Language: Use words sparingly and avoid unnecessary elaborations that do not contribute to the conversation.
Stay on Topic: Ensure that your contributions are relevant to the subject being discussed, which helps in keeping the conversation focused.

Set Personal Boundaries

Selective Sharing: Decide in advance which topics are off-limits and which are appropriate for discussion.
Respect Privacy: Recognize that some aspects of your life are meant to be kept private, or shared only with a select few.

The Benefits of Controlled Sharing

By sharing thoughtfully, you not only protect your own privacy but also respect the boundaries of your audience. Controlled sharing can lead to more meaningful and respectful interactions, whether online or offline. It enhances social dynamics by fostering an environment where communication is balanced and considerate.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the digital age tempts us to share incessantly, it is vital to exercise discretion. Understanding the motivations behind oversharing, practising active listening, using language efficiently, and setting personal boundaries are effective strategies to avoid oversharing. By doing so, you cultivate healthier relationships and maintain a professional and respectful persona in all forms of communication.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

If you have an Amazon Kindle account, there are different books at Amazon – Michael W (author)

Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

Why Having Difficult Conversations Is Worth It

2024-02-07 ~ adminlife

We’ve all been there, that sinking feeling when someone utters those dreaded words, “We need to talk.” Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and a knot forms in your stomach. It’s like being on a rollercoaster that only goes down. But why do we dread these difficult conversations so much?

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

The answer is simple. We’re afraid. Afraid of confrontation, of hurting feelings, of escalating arguments. But here’s the kicker – avoiding these tough talks is like trying to sweep dust under the rug. It doesn’t disappear; it just piles up until it becomes a mountain of problems.

The Unavoidable Truth

Whether it’s a personal relationship or a business matter, difficult conversations are as inevitable as the sun rising in the east. So, why not embrace them? Here’s why:

The problem doesn’t vanish into thin air. Imagine you have a wound on your arm that’s infected. You can cover it up with a band-aid or hide it under a long-sleeved shirt, but does it disappear? Of course not! It’s the same with problems. They don’t vanish by ignoring them; they disappear when you confront them head-on.
You broaden your horizons. We all believe we’re right in a disagreement. But engaging in a challenging conversation opens your mind to a different viewpoint. It’s like taking a walk in someone else’s shoes. You come out of the conversation with a wider worldview and perhaps, some necessary improvements.
You own up to your mistakes. Let’s be honest, no problem is one-sided. When you’re open to difficult conversations, you acknowledge your part in the issue. This humility can be sensed by the other person, making them more likely to be open, honest, and accepting of their part in the matter. It’s like a two-way street leading to faster solutions.
You become a pro at tackling tough talks. Difficult conversations are like weeds; they pop up everywhere. The more you have, the better you get at handling them. It’s like learning to ride a bike; the more you practice, the better you get. Your communication skills improve, and you learn to diffuse tense situations, making everyone feel at ease.
You build stronger relationships. All relationships have their ups and downs. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. But when you learn to navigate through the rough patches, you strengthen your bonds. It’s like turning coal into diamonds under pressure. Even in awkward situations, you learn to be yourself, fostering stronger and healthier relationships.

The Power of Conversation

Resentment is like a pot of boiling water; it festers when problems are left in the dark. So, why not bring them into the light? Talking things out is like opening a window to let fresh air in. It gives you a better understanding of the problem, making it easier to find a solution.

So, the next time you’re hesitating to have a difficult conversation, don’t let fear hold you back. It’s like standing at the edge of a diving board; the first step is the hardest. But once you dive in, you’ll wonder what you were so afraid of.

Maintain your composure, breathe, and talk. It may go your way, or it may not. But remember, it’s not about winning or losing; it’s about understanding and resolving. And in the end, the result will be worth the effort. After all, as they say, “No pain, no gain.”

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program.

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. I am offering a free, no obligation Wheel of Life consulting and exercise session for three people each day. You can book the session at https://calendly.com/michael-coach/focused-program-45-minute

Photo by cottonbro studio

Speak up – Tips to help you learn to speak up for yourself

2021-03-28 ~ adminlife

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are desperate to jump in and say your piece, but instead, you stew in silence? If you can relate to this, you might have trouble speaking up. This is a serious issue. If you aren’t willing or able to speak up for yourself, rest assured that no one else will either. No concerns, issues, questions, or solutions you might have in your head will ever materialize if you can’t speak up at the right time. If you’d like to be the type of person who speaks up when their best interests are at stake, please consider these nine tips.

Know What You Stand For

When you take the time to figure out what matters to you, you will be more likely to speak up on those interests. Knowing what’s important is a good way to figure out when you should speak up versus staying quiet.

Be Ready

If you struggle speaking up, trying to wing it at the moment is going to be intimidating. Make sure you plan and prepare yourself in advance whenever possible. If you have a meeting you know you want to bring something up, then have all your talking points ready.

Start Small

One of the only ways to get over an inability to speak up is to start doing it. It might be too intimidating to start on a grand scale, so try and start small. An example of starting small would be speaking up in a one-on-one situation.

Write Down What You Want to Say

Some people are much better at writing their thoughts than verbally expressing them. While you can’t hand in a paper during a big work meeting, having your thoughts written down already will give you time to practice your delivery.

Find An Early Opening

The longer you sit in silence, the harder it will be for you to speak up. You will give your mind too much time to create a bunch of excuses why you shouldn’t. Also, finding an early opening ensures you have the time to get your point across.

Recognize It’s Hard but Worthwhile

It doesn’t help for you to pretend speaking up is easy. Acknowledge that it will be a challenge, but realize it will be worth it. Research into “Realistic Optimism” has shown that people are more likely to follow through if they expect a task to be challenging. https://hbr.org/2011/05/be-an-optimist-without-being-a

Your Voice Deserves to Be Heard

You have a unique voice, outlook ad understanding of things. Your thoughts and opinions are important and valuable. If you can’t accept and believe this, you will never be able to speak up for yourself.

Stop Worrying About Others’ Thoughts

It’s perfectly fine to consider other people’s feelings before you speak. However, it’s important not to go overboard. Don’t worry about everyone else agreeing with you or looking stupid. If you have something important to say, then say it.

Learn the Art of Diplomacy

Sometimes it’s best to be as direct and blunt as possible. Other times, it can help you to be a bit more diplomatic. The less aggressive you have to be, the easier you will find it to speak up for yourself.

Action Steps

Make a list of times where you didn’t speak out and you should have. Note how each time may have negatively impacted you.
Think about an important issue you are dealing with, and devise a way to speak up about it.
The next time you feel the urge to speak up about something, just jump right in and do it. It could be as simple as correcting a server who misheard your order.

You now have 9 tips and 3 action steps that can help you to speak up and have your opinions heard. If you don’t speak up for yourself, someone else will do it for you.

If you want to learn even more about becoming empowered, connect with me for a 15-minute “Get to know you call.” https://calendly.com/michael-coach/15-minute-get-to-know-you

This call can be your first step to becoming more confident in your ability to speak up which can lead to an even greater sense of empowerment

To your success

Michael

Image by Z RAINEY from Pixabay

Communicate More Clearly

2020-05-292020-05-29 ~ adminlife

The ability to communicate clearly is essential in your professional and personal life. Without clear communication misunderstandings occur. If you want to get ahead in life, then use the 10 tips below to improve your communication skills.

Keep It Simple:
Whether you are communicating verbally or in writing the key is to keep what you are trying to communicate plain, simple and easy to understand. You don’t need to overwhelm your audience with fancy language or technical jargon unless you are giving an academic talk and it is totally necessary.
Make Notes:
Creating notes will help you plan what you want to say. You’ll be able to ensure that you include all the points you want to make but that you eliminate anything that is totally unnecessary. When giving a speech your notes will keep you on point throughout and avoid you going blank.
Engaged Listening:
Surprisingly being an engaged listener is an important communication skill. It ensures that the speaker knows that you are both listening and interested in what they are saying. Additionally, it will help you to give an informed response as you will be able to demonstrate that you have listened and understood what was said.
Body Language:
Your body can say things that your voice isn’t; including the exact opposite! If you want to ensure that you are giving the right impression and message, then you need to make sure that you stand upright with your head high and shoulders back. Don’t cross your arms as this will put a block between you and the person you are talking to.
Be Confident:
Confidence is a state of mind and it is something that you can create. There are many ways you can increase your self-confidence. Consider using affirmations and visualization on a daily basis or use hypnosis, coaching or neuro linguistic programming.
Small Talk:
If you find yourself struggling to communicate effectively during social situations, you can use the FORD technique to help you get a meaningful conversation started. FORD stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. Using this technique, you’ll no longer have to feel tongue tied when you meet strangers.
Use Eye Contact:
Using eye contact correctly can really improve your communication. Your audience will feel a greater connection with you and so listen more intently. Holding attention is a key skill of a great communicator. Remember to be natural and not to stare as that will have a negative impact.
Pause:
Before you start talking or reply, take a breath and pause. This gives you time to think about how you want to respond, calm your emotions and manage your tone of voice. By using a pause, you can make sure that you respond in the way you mean to, instead of saying the wrong thing.

Ask Questions:
This will show that you are listening to the other person and that you are paying close attention to what they are saying. You will also increase the sense of rapport between you. By asking questions you ensure that you understand what is said and can respond appropriately. If necessary, don’t be afraid to repeat back what the speaker has said to increase your understanding.
‘Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say’
That old saying contains very sage advice. By ensuring that you follow it you will avoid misunderstandings and your message will be relayed with clarity. Of course you’ll find on occasion that you need to be assertive and prepared to stick to your guns. However, the upside is you will gain the other person’s respect if you are honest and tactful.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

1	2	3
Pause before you speak. Use the time to breathe and think about what you are going to say as well as how you will say it.	Change your posture so that you are standing or sitting tall, shoulders back and head high. Don’t cross your arms or legs. Make sure your shoulders aren’t stiff but relaxed and you’ll find yourself feeling open and confident.	Make notes containing all the important points for calls, messages, emails or letters you need to make. That way you won’t forget what you want to say and you will feel more confident communicating.

You may also want to use the information in the following books:

If you would like a PDF copy of the report click here>> “Communicate More Clearly“