Break Free from Fear and Thrive

break free

 

Fear is part of every person’s journey. Whether you’re starting a business, entering a relationship or making a major life decision, fear tags along. But the difference between those who struggle and those who succeed isn’t about eliminating fear — it’s about taking action in spite of it.


Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program


Success is not a straight line. It’s messy, uncertain, and full of moments where your confidence is tested. But what sets high achievers apart is that they act, repeatedly, even when they’re afraid. This post outlines how to face fear directly, take meaningful action and build confidence by doing the hard things.

1. Decide That You Will Succeed

Success begins with a decision — a real one. Not “I’ll try this and see what happens,” but “I will succeed no matter what.” The Latin root of “decide” means “to cut off.” When you decide to succeed, you cut off all other possibilities — including failure, excuses and fear-based hesitation.

This kind of mental commitment makes fear irrelevant. Fear thrives on uncertainty. When there’s no room for negotiation, fear has nowhere to hide. Your decision becomes your anchor.

2. Face Risk, Don’t Avoid It

Most people back away when things feel risky. But successful people run toward risk because they understand this truth: everything you want is on the other side of fear.

Pick up the phone and make the uncomfortable call. Send the pitch. Raise your hand. Speak your truth. Risk isn’t something to be feared — it’s a sign you’re growing. And if something scares you, it probably matters.

You don’t need to be reckless. You need to be bold.

3. Prepare for What You Can

Fear often shows up in the form of worry — especially about things we suspect could go wrong. Instead of letting that turn into paralysis, use it as fuel. If you anticipate challenges, prepare for them.

Build your skillset. Create backup plans. Talk to people who’ve done it before. Do the mental rehearsal. The more prepared you are, the less room fear has to run the show.

Preparedness builds confidence, and confidence reduces fear.

4. Live in the Moment

Fear lives in the future — in the “what ifs” that haven’t even happened yet. When you live in the present, you take away fear’s power.

Stop reliving mistakes. Stop pre-living disasters. Be where your feet are. The present moment is manageable. Fear thrives in imagination, not reality.

Let go of resistance and focus on what you can do right now. Action is grounded in presence. Anxiety is rooted in the unknown.

5. Expect Good Outcomes

Most people brace for the worst. They picture everything going wrong before they even start. But that mindset guarantees hesitation.

Flip it.

Start expecting things to work out. Visualize success. Think through the best-case scenario. Sure, obstacles might appear — but you can deal with them. If you’re expecting the worst, you’ll freeze. If you’re expecting success, you’ll act.

Mindset sets the tone for performance.

6. Use Your Breath to Stay Calm

When fear takes over, the first thing to change is your body. Your breath becomes shallow. Your muscles tense. Your heart rate spikes.

You can’t always control your emotions, but you can control your breathing — and your breath influences your entire nervous system.

Slow, deep breaths signal safety to your brain. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, out for four. Repeat. This small habit can keep you grounded in high-stress moments.

7. Disengage from Negativity

Your environment affects your mindset. If you’re constantly exposed to negativity — especially through the news, social media or toxic people — fear becomes your baseline.

You don’t need to be uninformed. But doom-scrolling and dwelling in negativity won’t help you grow. Choose experiences that build you up. Play music. Get outside. Try something new. Learn something just for fun.

Confidence grows when your days are filled with meaningful, uplifting activity.

8. Know That You Are Enough

This one is simple but powerful: You are enough.

Even if you don’t have all the answers or experience yet, that doesn’t mean you’re not capable. Confidence doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from progress.

Work with what you’ve got, right now. Then build from there. Every successful person started with limited knowledge. But they believed they could figure it out — and they did. So can you.

9. Start Small, Build Fast

You don’t need to conquer your biggest fear today. You just need to take the first small step.

Make a list of the tasks you’ve been avoiding — from least intimidating to most. Then do the easiest one. Once it’s done, do the next. Momentum creates confidence.

Break your fear down into manageable pieces. Focus only on the step in front of you. By the time you reach the scarier items, you’ll already be stronger.

Fear Doesn’t Get to Win

Fear doesn’t have to disappear for you to succeed. It just has to take the passenger seat. You can be scared and still act. You can be uncertain and still move forward.

That’s how freedom works — not by waiting for fear to leave, but by moving forward anyway. Action is the cure. Decide to win. Chase risk. Prepare wisely. Expect the best. Stay grounded. And most of all — never forget that you are more capable than your fear wants you to believe.


To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Book the call now button

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

Michael W

 

 

 

 

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.S. You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

P.P.P.P.S. If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

 

 

Photo by Cristi Ursea on Unsplash

Are You Truly Ready to Change?

change

 

Change sounds exciting. A better life. New possibilities. More confidence. But the hard truth is that many people say they want change while subconsciously doing everything they can to stay exactly where they are.

They buy the courses. They build the website. They dream about starting fresh. But when it’s time to actually begin, fear rushes in like a flood, and suddenly there’s a reason to delay — again.


Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance


This isn’t laziness. It’s fear in disguise. And until it’s addressed, change will always remain just out of reach.

The Illusion of Wanting Change

On the surface, it looks like you’re working toward your goals. You might be:

  • Researching endlessly
  • Investing in tools or coaching
  • Planning out every detail

But when the moment to act comes — when you need to hit “publish,” schedule the meeting or show up for the first real step — something stops you.

That something is fear.

The Real Reason You’re Not Changing

Fear is a master of disguise. It doesn’t always scream. Often, it whispers:

  • What if you fail?
  • What if you succeed, and can’t handle it?
  • What will people think of you?

This internal resistance can be stronger than any external challenge. The mind chooses safety — even if safety is miserable — over the unknown. It tricks you into staying put.

And so the cycle continues: you plan, get excited, then stall. Again and again.

This creates frustration, guilt and shame — which only deepens the pattern. Over time, it wears down your self-esteem and convinces you you’re not cut out for more.

But that’s a lie. And it’s time to break the cycle.

Recognize the Signs

If this sounds like your life, you’re not alone. Many people live mostly in their heads — dreaming, doubting and stalling while looking “busy.” They’re surrounded by friends but feel isolated. They feel stuck, not because they lack potential, but because they’re afraid of what stepping into that potential might mean.

Recognizing this is step one. The next step? Doing something that fear can’t fight.

The Breakthrough: Stop Focusing on Yourself

Here’s the shift: focus less on what you want to change for you, and more on how your actions can impact others.

One of the fastest ways to get out of your own head is to help someone else. Volunteer. Support a cause. Mentor someone. Do anything that requires your energy, attention and follow-through — for the benefit of someone who needs you.

Why does this work?

Because when people depend on you, you show up.

Helping others pulls you out of the loop of self-criticism and into purposeful action. It boosts your self-worth not by thinking better thoughts — but by proving to yourself that you make a difference.

Purpose > Perfection

When you work for someone else’s benefit, perfection fades into the background. What matters is showing up. Following through. Being present. Taking action.

As you do this, your anxiety lowers and your confidence grows. You’re not overthinking. You’re doing. And with every helpful action, your fear shrinks, your self-esteem rises, and you gain momentum.

Over time, this becomes your new normal: showing up, taking action and making an impact.

Discovering Fulfillment Through Action

Here’s the most powerful part: once you begin to act — consistently — for the good of others, you start feeling something you may not have felt in a long time.

Fulfillment.

Helping others fills a part of your spirit that nothing else can. It makes your work matter. It gives meaning to your skills. And when you realize your actions are creating real change in real lives, the anxiety, perfectionism and self-doubt that once ruled your life start to fall away.

You see yourself differently. You feel different. Because you are different.

Make a Decision — Then Follow Through

Change happens when you decide to act. Not just once — but again and again.

Your path forward isn’t found in endless preparation. It’s found in doing. Even imperfectly.

Yes, you’ll make mistakes. Yes, you’ll have doubts. But mistakes can be fixed. Doubt can be challenged. What matters most is that you keep making decisions and taking steps.

Stuck is a choice. So is forward.

You Only Get One Life

This isn’t a rehearsal. You don’t get a second round. This is your life, and you deserve to live it with purpose, passion and confidence.

Waiting for the perfect moment means you’ll wait forever. Instead, decide now to start where you are. Use what you have. Focus on who you can help. And keep going.

Change won’t happen instantly. But if you act in spite of fear, consistently, your future will look very different — because you will be different.

Others Will Notice What You Don’t

Here’s a truth most people overlook: you won’t always see your own transformation. But others will.

People will tell you you seem stronger. Braver. More alive. More “you.”

That’s because helping others doesn’t just change their lives — it reveals your true self. The part of you that isn’t held back by fear. The part that’s been waiting to lead. The part that finally knows: you’re more than enough.

And when you live from that place, change isn’t hard. It’s natural.


To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Book the call now button

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

Michael W

 

 

 

 

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

 

 

Photo by Kiet Ho on Unsplash

Develop a Powerful Mindset for Growth and Success

growth mindset

 

Your mindset determines how you perceive the world and respond to challenges. It shapes your thoughts, behaviours and outcomes. The way you think influences your self-perception, relationships and achievements. Understanding your mindset helps you recognize limiting beliefs and take steps to develop a more empowering way of thinking.


Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

 

The two primary mindsets — fixed and growth — define how individuals approach life. A fixed mindset sees abilities as static, while a growth mindset embraces learning and adaptability. Each has a profound impact on personal and professional development. Let’s explore these mindsets in depth and discover how shifting to a growth-oriented perspective can transform your life.

Fixed Mindset: A Roadblock to Success

A fixed mindset is characterized by the belief that intelligence, abilities and talents are unchangeable. People with this mindset think that success is based on innate talent rather than effort, leading them to avoid challenges and fear failure.

Subtypes of a Fixed Mindset

Several variations of a fixed mindset exist, each presenting unique obstacles:

  1. Fear Mindset – Paralyzed by fear of failure, rejection or criticism, leading to inaction.
  2. Lazy Mindset – Lacking motivation or the drive to push beyond comfort zones.
  3. Envy Mindset – Focused on others’ success rather than personal growth.
  4. Greed Mindset – Always wanting more without appreciating what is already achieved.
  5. Short-Term Mindset – Prioritizing immediate rewards over long-term success.
  6. Angry Mindset – Reacting to setbacks with frustration and blame instead of learning from them.
  7. Follower Mindset – Conforming to external expectations instead of forging a unique path.

Characteristics of a Fixed Mindset

  • Blames Others – Deflecting responsibility rather than acknowledging personal shortcomings.
  • Lack of Initiative – Avoiding new challenges due to fear of failure.
  • Addictive Habits – Seeking distractions rather than addressing problems.
  • Obsessed with Validation – Concerned with how others perceive them rather than personal growth.
  • Negative Outlook – Viewing obstacles as threats rather than opportunities.

A fixed mindset keeps individuals stuck in a cycle of doubt and limitation. However, the good news is that mindsets are not permanent — they can be reshaped with conscious effort.

Growth Mindset: The Key to Personal and Professional Transformation

A growth mindset embraces the idea that intelligence, skills and talents can be developed through effort, learning and perseverance. People with this mindset are more likely to take on challenges, persist through failures and continually seek improvement.

Subtypes of a Growth Mindset

  1. Social Mindset – Prioritizing meaningful connections and relationships.
  2. Business Mindset – Focused on innovation, resilience and success in professional endeavours.
  3. Dreamer Mindset – Thinking big and pursuing ambitious goals.
  4. Gratitude Mindset – Appreciating what one has and cultivating positivity.
  5. Confident Mindset – Believing in oneself and taking decisive action.
  6. Creative Mindset – Embracing innovation and thinking outside the box.

Characteristics of a Growth Mindset

  • Seeks Challenges – Views obstacles as opportunities to learn.
  • Embraces Failure – Uses setbacks as lessons for future success.
  • Develops New Skills – Constantly improving and refining abilities.
  • Shows Dedication – Willing to put in the effort needed for growth.
  • Thinks Long-Term – Focusing on sustained progress rather than quick wins.
  • Grateful and Positive – Finding joy in achievements rather than dwelling on shortcomings.

By shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, individuals unlock their full potential, leading to greater success in all aspects of life.

How to Shift from a Fixed to a Growth Mindset

Transitioning to a growth mindset takes effort, but it is achievable with the right approach. Here are key strategies:

  1. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities

Instead of seeing obstacles as roadblocks, view them as chances to grow. Each setback provides valuable lessons that contribute to long-term success.

  1. Embrace Continuous Learning

Adopt the belief that skills and intelligence can be improved. Read, take courses, seek mentorship, and explore new experiences.

  1. Practice Self-Compassion

Recognize that failure is part of the learning process. Instead of self-criticism, practice self-encouragement and focus on solutions.

  1. Develop Resilience

Perseverance is essential for growth. When facing setbacks, remind yourself that persistence leads to success.

  1. Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People

Your environment influences your mindset. Engage with individuals who encourage and inspire progress.

  1. Adopt a Gratitude Mindset

Appreciating what you have fosters a positive outlook and reduces the tendency to compare yourself to others.

  1. Set Goals and Take Action

Clearly define what you want to achieve, break it into actionable steps and remain consistent in your efforts.

Conclusion: Your Mindset Shapes Your Future

Your mindset dictates how you navigate life. A fixed mindset keeps you stuck, while a growth mindset empowers you to achieve greatness. The choice is yours. By embracing a mindset of learning, resilience and self-improvement, you can create a life filled with success and fulfillment.


To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Book the call now button

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

Michael W

 

 

 

 

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.S. You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

P.P.P.P.S. If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

 

 

 

Photo by ASWIN CHANDRAN on Unsplash

Recognizing When to Shift Your Mindset for Growth

mindset for growth

 

Your mindset shapes your reality. The way you think influences your emotions, decisions and interactions with the world around you. If you often feel frustrated, stuck or dissatisfied, it might be time to examine your thought patterns and consider making a change. Many people go through life without questioning their mindset, but recognizing when it’s time for a shift can lead to greater confidence, success and happiness.


Before you can start to plan your success goals, there are many things that you need to understand before you can be sure that the goals you set are really the ones you want.

One of those things is to determine if there are any Limiting Beliefs that can stop you from actually achieving those goals.

I have a self-study Limiting Belief Program that you can go through to determine what your Limiting Beliefs are and how you can remove them.

You can read more and register for the program at Limiting Beliefs Program on my Confidence and Life Coaching website.

Start your journey on your path to success by identifying and removing your Limiting Beliefs so that you make the journey a lot easier.

You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

 

Changing your mindset isn’t about ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect — it’s about choosing a perspective that empowers rather than limits you. Here are some key signs that indicate it’s time for a mindset shift and how to make the change.

Understanding the Power of Mindset

Your mindset is the foundation of how you experience life. It dictates whether you see failure as an opportunity or a roadblock, whether you appreciate what you have or focus on what you lack. A negative mindset can trap you in patterns of doubt, fear and stagnation, while a positive mindset fosters growth, confidence and fulfillment.

Psychologists often categorize mindsets into two main types:

  • Fixed Mindset: The belief that your abilities, intelligence and circumstances are static and unchangeable.
  • Growth Mindset: The belief that you can develop skills, learn from experiences and improve over time.

Shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset can transform how you approach challenges, relationships and personal development.

Six Signs It’s Time to Change Your Mindset

1. You Focus More on Failure Than Success

When setbacks happen, do you dwell on them for days, weeks or even longer? Do you constantly replay mistakes in your head, convinced they define you? Focusing on failure instead of celebrating progress can erode self-confidence and motivation.

How to Shift:

  • Keep a success journal to track daily achievements, no matter how small.
  • Reframe failures as learning opportunities rather than personal shortcomings.
  • Acknowledge your progress rather than fixating on perceived shortcomings.

2. You See Yourself as a Victim

If you frequently blame others or circumstances for your struggles, you may have developed a victim mentality. This mindset keeps you stuck, preventing you from taking control of your life.

How to Shift:

  • Take responsibility for your choices and actions.
  • Practice self-reflection to identify areas where you can take control.
  • Release resentment by practicing forgiveness and focusing on moving forward.

3. You Compare Yourself to Others Online

Social media creates unrealistic expectations, making it easy to feel inadequate. If you find yourself constantly comparing your life to the curated highlights of others, it’s time to reassess your perspective.

How to Shift:

  • Limit time on social media and unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate.
  • Focus on personal growth and achievements instead of external validation.
  • Practice gratitude for your own journey and successes.

4. You Dread Work and See It as a Chore

If you constantly complain about your job or feel disengaged, your mindset may be contributing to your dissatisfaction. Work is a significant part of life, and viewing it negatively can impact your overall happiness.

How to Shift:

  • Reframe your job as an opportunity to learn and contribute.
  • Identify aspects of your work that align with your values or passions.
  • Consider professional development or a career shift if dissatisfaction persists.

5. You Obsess Over Things You Can’t Control

If your thoughts are dominated by complaints about the government, traffic or the weather, you may be fixating on things outside your influence instead of taking charge of your own actions.

How to Shift:

  • Identify areas where you have control and focus your energy there.
  • Engage in productive actions rather than dwelling on frustrations.
  • Develop mindfulness practices to manage stress and cultivate acceptance.

6. You Struggle to Feel Gratitude

A mindset of lack leads to dissatisfaction. If you often focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s right, it’s a sign that your perspective may need adjusting.

How to Shift:

  • Start a gratitude journal to recognize daily positives.
  • Shift focus from what’s missing to what you already have.
  • Recognize that perfection is unattainable — appreciate progress and growth instead.

Making the Shift: Practical Steps to Change Your Mindset

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Pay attention to your self-talk. If your thoughts are overly critical or defeatist, actively replace them with empowering affirmations.

2. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

The people you interact with shape your mindset. Seek out relationships that uplift and inspire you rather than drain or discourage you.

3. Develop a Growth Habit

Adopt a daily habit that fosters a growth mindset, such as reading, journaling or engaging in creative pursuits. This reinforces positive thinking and continuous improvement.

4. Take Action Despite Fear

Fear often holds people back from making changes. Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone regularly — growth happens when you take risks and embrace new experiences.

5. Practice Gratitude Daily

Actively focusing on what you appreciate creates a mindset of abundance. Express gratitude for both big and small things in your life.

Conclusion

Your mindset is the key to a fulfilling and confident life. Recognizing when it’s time for a shift is the first step toward personal growth and success. By changing how you think, you change how you experience life, interact with others and pursue your goals. The good news? You have the power to rewire your mindset at any time. Choose growth, take control, and embrace the possibilities that come with a positive outlook.


To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Book the call now button

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

Michael W

 

 

 

 

P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.S. You can download a free PDF containing five articles on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them and achieve things in your career and personal life. 

The PDF can be downloaded here (and you don’t have to register or provide an email address) Limiting Beliefs Download

Download the file and go over the other material that you can find on the Confidence and Life Coaching website.

P.P.P.P.S. If you are ready to move even further into the process of Identifying and removing and replacing your Limiting Beliefs, you should consider my short Limiting Belief’s Coaching Program

 

 

 

 

Photo by Branimir Balogović on Unsplash

How to Use Your Ego for Good

ego

 

Is having an ego good or bad? It’s a simple question with a complicated answer.

The ego gets a bad rap — think arrogance, selfishness or the need to dominate. But ego isn’t inherently bad. Like most things, it depends on how it’s used and managed.

Ego is part of your identity. It drives ambition, fuels confidence and helps you assert yourself. But it can also distort reality, block growth and hurt relationships if left unchecked.

Let’s unpack what ego really is, where it helps, where it hurts and how to keep it in balance so it serves you instead of running the show.


Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance


What Is Ego, Really?

At its core, your ego is your self-image — how you see yourself and how you want others to see you. It’s tied to your sense of worth, your identity and your desire to feel important or validated.

Everyone has an ego. It’s what makes you push for that promotion, speak up in a meeting or take pride in a job well done. But when ego becomes inflated or fragile, problems arise.

When Ego Works in Your Favour

Let’s start with the upside. A healthy, confident ego can be a powerful tool for achievement and resilience. Here’s how:

1. Ego Can Drive Big Success

People with strong egos often set massive goals and go after them hard. They want to prove something — to themselves and the world. That kind of internal fire has fuelled world leaders, CEOs, athletes and entrepreneurs.

When you believe you’re capable of extraordinary things, you’re more likely to pursue them. Ego can help you push through resistance, rise above competition and demand more from yourself.

2. Ego Helps Overcome Obstacles

A big ego can convince you that you’re unstoppable. It may sound delusional, but in tough situations, that mindset can actually be helpful. If you believe in your ability to power through, you’re less likely to give up when things get hard.

Confidence — even if slightly inflated — can be a serious asset when you’re under pressure.

3. Ego Supports Self-Belief

Confidence is often rooted in ego. You need some belief in yourself to step up, take risks and assert your value. If your ego is reasonably healthy, it acts like a built-in support system: “I can do this. I’ve got what it takes.”

This can help you perform better, handle criticism more constructively, and stay grounded in your goals.

The Dark Side of Ego

Of course, ego can also derail you. When it becomes too big or too fragile, it starts working against you.

1. Craving External Validation

Some egos feed entirely on other people’s opinions. If you’re obsessed with being liked, praised or admired, your ego will never be satisfied. It turns into a bottomless pit of need.

The problem? You’re outsourcing your self-worth. You chase approval instead of doing what’s right for you. And when the praise stops, your confidence crashes.

2. Never Feeling Fulfilled

The ego always wants more. More attention. More power. More followers. More wins. No matter what you accomplish, it’s not enough. This leads to chronic dissatisfaction — even when you’re objectively successful.

If you tie your happiness to feeding your ego, you’ll always feel like something’s missing.

3. Hurting Relationships

When ego takes over, people become tools to serve your goals instead of individuals to connect with. You stop listening, stop empathizing and start dominating.

This can damage friendships, romantic relationships and workplace dynamics. People avoid egotistical individuals because they feel used, unseen or disrespected.

4. Blinding You to Reality

A bloated ego distorts your view of yourself and the world. You stop recognizing your weaknesses or mistakes. Feedback feels like an attack, and you dismiss anything that doesn’t confirm your greatness.

This not only stalls growth — it sets you up for big crashes when reality doesn’t match your inflated self-image.

5. Avoiding Failure at All Costs

Ironically, the ego that believes it’s untouchable is often terrified of failure. Because failure feels like ego death. It threatens the image you’ve built of yourself.

This fear can hold you back from trying new things, taking risks or admitting when you’re struggling. You play it safe to protect your ego — at the cost of growth.

Signs Your Ego Might Be Running the Show

  • You take things personally — even small critiques.
  • You constantly compare yourself to others.
  • You feel threatened by other people’s success.
  • You have to “win” every conversation or argument.
  • You need recognition to feel valuable.
  • You resist asking for help, even when you need it.

These are indicators that your ego might be taking up too much space in your head — and getting in the way of your well-being.

The Middle Path: Confident, Not Conceited

The goal isn’t to destroy your ego. You need it. But you need it in balance.

A healthy ego looks like this:

  • You believe in your abilities — but stay open to learning.
  • You take pride in your work — but don’t need constant validation.
  • You’re confident — but don’t need to prove your worth.
  • You know your value — but still value others.

This kind of ego leads to quiet confidence, resilience and inner peace.

How to Keep Your Ego in Check

1. Practice Self-Awareness

Catch yourself in ego-driven behaviour. Are you arguing to be right, or to be helpful? Are you chasing status, or purpose? Are you being honest, or protecting your image?

Reflect often and get curious about your motives.

2. Take Feedback Seriously, Not Personally

Feedback isn’t an attack — it’s a tool. Use it. Even if it stings, look for the truth in it and grow from it. Your ego doesn’t like discomfort, but your future self will thank you for facing it.

3. Learn from Failure

Don’t let your ego avoid failure. Let it learn from it. Failure doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It means you’re human, trying and learning. Keep going.

4. Celebrate Wins Without Overinflating

Enjoy your accomplishments. Own your success. But don’t let them define you. You are more than your wins. Celebrate, then keep it moving.

5. Serve, Don’t Just Shine

True confidence isn’t about standing above others — it’s about lifting others up. Use your strengths to help, not just to shine. This keeps your ego grounded in purpose.

Final Thought

Your ego is not your enemy. It’s a tool — and like any tool, it can help or hurt, depending on how you use it.

A healthy ego gives you strength, clarity and drive. An unchecked ego creates blind spots, insecurity and isolation.

The key is balance. Be proud, but stay humble. Be confident, but stay open. Let your ego push you to grow — but don’t let it make the world all about you.

Your best self isn’t ego-less. It’s ego-aware. And that awareness is what turns potential into real power.


To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

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Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

Michael W

 

 

 

 

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

 

 

 

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