Success doesn’t just hinge on ambition, strategy or motivation — it hinges on alignment. If you’re constantly falling short of your goals, it may not be due to laziness, bad luck or a lack of effort. The root problem could be deeper: your goals and your values may not be working together.
When your goals contradict your personal values, internal resistance sets in. You may try to push forward, but something inside pulls you back. That inner tension leads to procrastination, burnout or even quiet sabotage. You simply don’t want to do what it takes because part of you doesn’t believe in it.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
This article will show you how to realign your values and goals to work together, not against each other. When you sync the two, progress flows, motivation sticks and success becomes sustainable.
1. Know Your Values — For Real
Many people say they know what they value. Few have actually sat down and clarified it in writing. That’s a problem.
Your values are your internal compass. They influence your decisions, behaviours and sense of meaning. When you don’t know what they are, you risk building a life that feels off-centre or hollow — even if it looks successful on the outside.
Exercise:
Set aside 30–45 minutes. Write down your core values. Not vague ideas like “being good” or “working hard.” Get specific. Examples:
- Freedom
- Security
- Creativity
- Health
- Connection
- Growth
- Legacy
Now rank them. Prioritize them. This is important — because values come into conflict. Knowing what trumps what will help you navigate tough choices.
Also ask yourself: Are your current actions aligned with these values? If not, either your behaviour is off track — or your values aren’t as honest as you thought. Don’t cling to idealized values you wish you had. Work with the truth.
2. Get Clear About Your Goals
Now shift focus. What do you really want to accomplish? Forget what sounds impressive. Be honest.
Your goals might include:
- Building a business
- Losing 25 pounds
- Becoming debt-free
- Learning to play guitar
- Spending more time with family
- Writing a novel
- Travelling the world
The key is clarity. Be specific. Vague goals don’t inspire action. “Be happier” is not a goal — it’s a hope. “Start freelancing part-time within 3 months” is a goal.
Now take your list of goals and put them next to your values list.
3. Look for Conflict — or Harmony
Do your values support your goals — or work against them?
This is the moment of truth. If you deeply value stability but your goal is to become an entrepreneur, that may cause inner resistance. If you value relaxation but your goal requires 6 a.m. workouts, you might constantly bail.
Examples of mismatches:
- Goal: Get a six-pack
Conflicting value: Comfort and indulgence - Goal: Build wealth
Conflicting value: Belief that rich people are greedy or shallow - Goal: Become a world-travelling digital nomad
Conflicting value: Love of routine, home and long-term roots
On the other hand, look for harmony. If you value freedom and your goal is to launch an online business, that’s alignment. That’s fuel.
If your values don’t support your goals, one of them has to change. You either reshape your goals to reflect your values — or shift your values to support your goals. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for struggle.
4. Define the Ideal Value Set for Your Goals
Ask this question: If someone had already achieved my goal, what values would they likely hold?
Want to run a marathon? That person values discipline, perseverance, physical challenge and delayed gratification.
Want to make $1 million? That person probably values problem-solving, self-reliance, risk tolerance and financial strategy.
Want to build a strong family? Think loyalty, connection, presence and emotional intelligence.
Now imagine this person as a character. What do they believe? How do they behave? What do they say no to? What do they sacrifice?
Write it down. You now have a roadmap for the internal qualities that will support your goal.
5. Begin the Shift — One Action at a Time
You can’t just declare new values out of nowhere. You have to earn them.
Let’s say you need to develop the value of frugality to hit your savings goal. Start proving to yourself that you’re the kind of person who values saving over spending.
Ideas:
- Save a set amount the moment your paycheck arrives
- Track every expense for 30 days
- Watch free documentaries instead of shopping online
- Carry your lunch instead of eating out
Each action reinforces the identity you want. Over time, your values adjust. They aren’t static. They evolve with practice and belief.
6. Expect Resistance—and Push Through It
Changing values or goals isn’t comfortable. It involves letting go of habits, assumptions or even parts of your identity. You might feel awkward or fake at first.
That’s normal.
Push through it by anchoring into purpose. Remind yourself why your goal matters. Keep reinforcing your new value through behaviour, not just affirmations.
If the friction doesn’t go away, reevaluate again. You may be trying to force a goal that isn’t right for you. Or clinging to a value that’s outdated. Either way, honesty is your best friend here.
7. Build Alignment Into Your Life Design
Once your values and goals are aligned, you’ll notice something powerful: Less resistance, more flow.
You’ll make decisions faster. You’ll feel more focused. Your actions will feel “right” instead of forced. That’s alignment. That’s sustainable success.
Now, take action with this framework:
- Clarify your values.
- Clarify your goals.
- Audit for alignment.
- Define ideal values for your goals.
- Practice behaviours that reflect those values.
- Adjust regularly.
Do this — and you’ll stop sabotaging yourself from the inside out.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance
P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching
P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com
Photo by Daria Mamont on Unsplash
