The Real Formula for Believing in Yourself

2025-05-30 ~ adminlife

What does it really take to succeed in life?

Most people assume it’s about money, connections or luck. But the truth is, the most powerful asset you can have is already within reach — and it doesn’t cost a thing. It’s belief in yourself.

When you believe in yourself, you change the way you think, act and move through the world. It’s the difference between backing down and stepping up. Between settling and striving. Between watching life pass you by and actively creating the life you want.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

Belief in yourself is the foundation of confidence. And the good news? It’s not something you’re born with or without. It’s something you can build.

Why Self-Belief Matters More Than You Think

Self-belief is the key that unlocks everything else. If you don’t believe in your ability to succeed, you’ll self-sabotage. You won’t go after opportunities. You won’t take risks. And you’ll give up before you ever get close to your potential.

But if you do believe in yourself? You become resilient. You show up differently. You bounce back from failure faster and keep pushing toward your goals, no matter how big they are.

It’s not magic — it’s mindset. And it’s built one step at a time.

Building Your Confidence From Within

Confidence isn’t something you wait around for. It’s something you create. And yes, that means even when you’re feeling unsure or shaky, you can take action that leads to real, lasting self-belief.

Here’s how:

1. Track Your Wins — Big and Small

We tend to forget our achievements because we’re so focused on what’s next. Take time to reflect. What have you overcome? What have you accomplished? Write it down. Celebrate the fact that you’ve already done things you once thought you couldn’t.

Confidence grows when you remind yourself of your capability.

2. Set Clear, Meaningful Goals

Setting goals gives you direction and momentum. Start small if you need to — but get specific. “I want to be more confident” is vague. “I will speak up at least once in every meeting this month” is measurable and actionable. With each goal you hit, your belief in yourself builds.

3. Change Your Inner Dialogue

What are you telling yourself all day? If the voice in your head is negative, critical or filled with doubt, it’s going to chip away at your confidence. Start catching those thoughts and replacing them with better ones.

You don’t need to lie to yourself. Just shift from “I can’t do this” to “I’m learning how to do this” or “I’ve done hard things before — I can handle this too.”

4. Keep Learning

Confidence thrives when you feel prepared. That doesn’t mean waiting until you know everything. It means committing to growth. Take online courses, read books, join communities. The more you learn, the more capable — and confident — you’ll feel.

5. Practice Gratitude and Positivity

Mindset isn’t just about what you do — it’s also about how you see. Start your day with a mental list of three things you’re grateful for. End it by acknowledging what you did well. Positivity isn’t fluff — it’s fuel for your belief system.

Taking Care of Your Body and Mind

Confidence doesn’t live only in your head — it lives in your daily habits. When you treat yourself well, you reinforce the idea that you’re worth being taken care of.

These aren’t just health tips — they’re acts of self-respect.

1. Exercise Like You Mean It

Movement shifts energy. It boosts your mood, reduces anxiety and reminds you what your body is capable of. You don’t have to be an athlete — just aim for 30 minutes a day of something that gets your heart rate up. Walk, dance, stretch, lift. Just move.

2. Fuel Your Body Right

A foggy brain, sugar crashes and mood swings don’t help your confidence. Eat real food — fruits, vegetables, whole grains, protein, healthy fats. Skip the extremes. It’s not about perfection — it’s about giving yourself the fuel to feel strong and stable.

3. Prioritize Quality Sleep

Lack of sleep messes with your mood, your thinking, and your resilience. Your mind and body need 7–8 hours of quality sleep to reset. Create a bedtime routine, keep your room cool and dark and stay off screens an hour before bed.

4. Handle Stress Proactively

Stress isn’t going away — but how you deal with it makes a difference. Daily self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity. Whether it’s deep breathing, meditation, journaling or taking a 10-minute walk — build stress relief into your day before burnout hits.

Believing in Yourself Doesn’t Mean Doing It Alone

Contrary to what you might think, self-belief doesn’t mean being 100% self-reliant. It means knowing when to ask for help, set boundaries and surround yourself with people who support your growth.

Here’s how to build the support system that backs your confidence:

1. Speak Up For Yourself

People who believe in themselves advocate for their needs. That doesn’t mean being loud or aggressive — it means being honest, direct and respectful. Say what you mean. Ask for help. Set boundaries. Stand up for your values.

2. Build a Support Network

Confidence grows in connection. Find people who get you — friends, colleagues, mentors. Join groups aligned with your passions or goals. Don’t just collect contacts — nurture real relationships where you can be seen and supported.

3. Find Mentorship

A mentor can help you spot blind spots, develop new skills and stay on track. Choose someone whose life or mindset you admire, and approach them with respect. Be clear about what you’re asking for. Mentorship is a two-way street — show up, stay curious and follow through.

4. Give Generously

Helping others boosts your confidence. It proves that you matter. Volunteer, share your skills, support a friend or mentor someone coming up behind you. Giving shows you your own strength — and reinforces the belief that you have value to offer.

Final Thought

Believing in yourself isn’t about arrogance or pretending you have it all figured out. It’s about trusting that you can figure things out. That you’re capable of growth. That you’re worthy of effort, care and the life you want.

You won’t always feel confident. That’s okay. Confidence is built in the doing — in the small, daily choices to show up, speak up, and keep going.

Start today. Trust yourself just a little more than you did yesterday.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the program. If you are not ready to commit to a full program, I have a self-paced course on Udemy that may be of interest. You can find out about the course and register at Confidence and Motivation Development and Maintenance

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.

P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Photo by sour moha on Unsplash

The Key to Growth and Success Is To Embrace Mistakes

2025-05-29 ~ adminlife

Perfectionism is often seen as a strength, but in reality, it can be a major roadblock to success. Many people believe that producing flawless work is the key to achievement, but this mindset can lead to burnout, inefficiency and stalled progress. The truth is, embracing mistakes — both your own and those of others — can lead to growth, creativity, and long-term success.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

The Hidden Dangers of Perfectionism

At first glance, perfectionism seems admirable. Who wouldn’t want to produce high-quality work? However, perfectionism is less about striving for excellence and more about an unrealistic fear of failure. This fear can have several negative consequences:

Burnout and Stress: Constantly chasing perfection is exhausting. The pressure to avoid mistakes can lead to anxiety, stress and even burnout.
Inefficiency: Perfectionists often spend excessive time refining minor details, which slows down productivity.
Lack of Innovation: Fear of mistakes stifles creativity. Some of the greatest breakthroughs in history came from failed experiments.
Strained Relationships: When perfectionists expect the same unattainable standards from their team, they can create a toxic work environment.

The Problem with Doing Everything Yourself

Many perfectionists struggle to delegate tasks. They believe that no one else can do the job as well as they can, so they take on more responsibility than they should. This not only increases their own workload but also alienates their team.

If you’re constantly stepping in to correct or redo your team’s work, you send a clear message: “I don’t trust you.” Over time, this erodes morale and motivation. Employees become disengaged because they feel their contributions are undervalued. In extreme cases, they may leave, seeking workplaces where they are trusted to do their jobs.

By learning to let go and accept that mistakes will happen, you empower your team. Trust fosters growth, and employees who are given the freedom to make mistakes will learn from them and become better at what they do.

How Mistakes Lead to Improvement

It’s important to shift your perspective on mistakes. Instead of viewing them as failures, see them as learning opportunities. Here’s why mistakes can actually be beneficial:

Mistakes Enhance Learning – We learn more from our failures than from our successes. Each mistake provides insight into what doesn’t work, helping refine future strategies.
They Encourage Creativity – When people fear making mistakes, they play it safe. But real innovation comes from taking risks. Many successful inventions and business ideas arose from unexpected failures.
They Build Resilience – The ability to recover from mistakes is an essential skill. Those who can analyze what went wrong, make adjustments, and keep moving forward are the ones who ultimately succeed.
They Improve Efficiency Over Time – When mistakes are made and analyzed, processes improve. A company that constantly adapts and refines its methods is one that stays competitive.

Creating a Mistake-Friendly Work Culture

If you’re a leader, your attitude toward mistakes will shape your workplace culture. Here are some steps to create an environment where people feel safe to take risks and learn from their missteps:

Encourage Open Discussions About Mistakes – Hold regular team meetings where people can openly discuss errors and what they’ve learned. This normalizes mistakes and turns them into growth opportunities.
Avoid Blame and Punishment – When employees fear punishment, they’ll hide mistakes instead of addressing them. Focus on solutions rather than assigning blame.
Model the Right Behaviour – Show your team that you’re willing to admit when you’ve made a mistake. Transparency fosters trust.
Celebrate Learning from Failures – When a team member learns a valuable lesson from a mistake, acknowledge it. This reinforces the idea that mistakes are stepping stones to improvement.

Perfectionism Slows Progress in Business

In today’s fast-paced world, perfectionism is a liability. Businesses need to adapt quickly, and spending too much time fine-tuning every detail can mean falling behind competitors. While you’re perfecting a product or service, competitors who are willing to launch, adjust and improve on the go will gain market share.

A good example of this is the tech industry. Companies like Apple, Google and Microsoft release new products with known bugs or imperfections. They understand that getting a product into the hands of consumers and iterating based on real-world feedback is more effective than waiting until everything is “perfect.”

Similarly, successful entrepreneurs know that failure is part of the process. Every setback is an opportunity to pivot, refine and improve. Those who demand perfection before taking action often never start at all.

How to Let Go of Perfectionism

If perfectionism is holding you back, here are some practical steps to break free:

Set Realistic Standards – Excellence is different from perfection. Aim for high-quality work, but recognize when something is “good enough” to move forward.
Give Yourself Deadlines – Instead of endlessly refining work, set firm deadlines. This helps you prioritize what truly matters.
Learn to Delegate – Trust your team. Let them take ownership of their responsibilities, even if they make mistakes along the way.
Reframe Mistakes as Growth Opportunities – Each time you or someone on your team makes an error, ask: “What can we learn from this?”
Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection – Focus on how far you’ve come rather than how far you have left to go.

Final Thoughts

The fear of making mistakes can be paralyzing, but it’s also unnecessary. No one — no business, no leader, no employee — is perfect. The most successful individuals and companies are those that embrace imperfection, learn from mistakes and keep moving forward.

By allowing yourself and others the freedom to make mistakes, you open the door to innovation, growth and lasting success. So, take the pressure off. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, and watch as you and your team thrive.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

P.P.P.P.S. I have posted a series of articles on the “Fear of Success” at Confidence and Life Coaching. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Procrastination Hurts More Than You Think

2025-05-28 ~ adminlife

We’ve all had that moment — sitting on the couch, knowing there’s something we should be doing, but instead, we stay put. Maybe we scroll, binge a show or convince ourselves we’ll “get to it later.” Harmless, right? Not exactly.

Avoidance and procrastination aren’t just annoying habits. They’re quiet confidence killers. Over time, they chip away at your progress, damage your relationships, hurt your health and waste the most precious thing you have: time.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

Let’s get clear about what procrastination really costs you — and how to take back control.

What Procrastination Really Is

Procrastination isn’t laziness. It’s avoidance. It’s delaying something you know is important in favour of something easier or more comfortable. The result? You create more stress in the long run, not less.

It often comes disguised as harmless thoughts:

“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“It’s not the right time.”

Those excuses feel small in the moment, but their effects stack up fast.

You’re Wasting More Time Than You Think

Every time you put off a task, you’re not just delaying progress — you’re giving away time you can never get back. One evening of avoidance seems minor, but procrastination compounds.

An hour here. A day there. A month slips by. Then a year. Procrastination isn’t a single act. It’s a pattern. And once that pattern takes hold, it becomes your default response to discomfort.

Instead of moving forward, you stay stuck in place — watching others build their lives while you wonder where the time went.

Time is the one resource you’ll never recover. Use it wisely.

You Miss Out on Real Opportunities

Every time you delay action, you risk missing an opportunity that could’ve changed your life. That job you didn’t apply for? That connection you didn’t follow up on? That course you never enrolled in?

Avoidance shuts doors before you even knock on them.

Worse, you don’t just miss the main opportunity — you miss the ripple effects. Maybe that job didn’t work out, but what if it led to a better one? What if you’d made a mentor connection? What if you met your business partner there?

You don’t just lose one shot. You lose all the possibilities that could’ve followed it.

Your Reputation Takes a Hit

Your actions — or lack of action — shape how people see you. One missed deadline may be forgivable. But chronic procrastination makes people see you as unreliable, unmotivated, or inconsistent.

This matters more than you might think.

Employers notice.
Friends and partners notice.
Collaborators and clients notice.

Your reputation isn’t built on your intentions. It’s built on your follow-through.

In both personal and professional life, trust is currency. When people stop trusting you to show up or follow through, doors start closing — even ones you don’t realize are there.

Procrastination can quietly erode your credibility, and once that’s damaged, rebuilding it takes serious time and effort.

Avoidance Can Impact Your Health

This is where procrastination gets real — and risky.

Let’s say you notice a new mole, a weird ache or a lump. You tell yourself you’ll call the doctor next week. Then next month. Suddenly it’s been six months, and now it’s not just a check-up. It’s a medical issue that could’ve been easier to treat early on.

Avoidance in health matters can be life-threatening.

The same goes for mental health. Avoiding difficult emotions, delaying therapy or refusing to face stress can build up into serious anxiety, depression or burnout. The longer you avoid, the worse it gets.

Procrastination isn’t harmless. In some cases, it’s dangerous.

You’re Sabotaging Your Own Confidence

Every time you procrastinate, you’re sending yourself a message — I can’t handle this right now.

Over time, you start to believe it.

Procrastination chips away at your self-trust. When you consistently avoid doing the things you say you will, you break your own internal promise. That creates guilt, stress, and a creeping feeling that you’re falling behind.

On the flip side, following through — even on small tasks — builds confidence. You feel in control. You feel capable. You trust yourself more.

Confidence doesn’t come from big wins. It comes from small, consistent action. Procrastination kills that momentum.

Why We Procrastinate: It’s Not What You Think

Most procrastination isn’t about poor time management. It’s emotional. We avoid tasks that:

Make us feel overwhelmed.
Make us fear failure.
Seem boring or tedious.
Are connected to uncomfortable truths (like needing to change something about ourselves).

Understanding why you procrastinate is key. Are you afraid of doing it wrong? Afraid of success? Trying to avoid discomfort?

Once you name the emotion, you take away its power.

How to Beat Procrastination — One Step at a Time

You don’t need a total life overhaul. You need better habits. Here’s how to shift from avoidance to action:

1. Break it down.
If a task feels huge, cut it into smaller pieces. “Update resume” becomes “Open resume file” → “Change last job title” → “Add new skills.”

2. Set deadlines — even for small things.
Deadlines create urgency. Even artificial ones help. Use them to drive focus.

3. Use time blocks.
Commit 15 or 25 minutes to a task. Use a timer. No distractions. After that, you can stop — or keep going if you’re in the zone.

4. Make it visual.
Track your progress somewhere visible. Cross off tasks. Colour-code your week. Seeing progress builds motivation.

5. Deal with the emotion.
If you’re scared of the task, ask yourself why. Sometimes just acknowledging the fear helps you move through it.

6. Forgive the past, focus on now.
You’ve put things off before. So what? The goal isn’t perfection — it’s progress. Start fresh today.

Procrastination Isn’t a Personality Trait — It’s a Pattern

You’re not “just a procrastinator.” You’re someone who’s developed avoidance habits — and habits can change.

Don’t let past behaviour define your future. Procrastination doesn’t make you lazy, incapable or unmotivated. It just means you’ve been operating in a loop that no longer serves you.

And the way out of that loop is simple: start. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s small. Start something now.

Final Thought: Action Is the Cure

You don’t need another productivity hack or motivational video. What you need is to stop avoiding the thing you already know needs doing.

One action creates momentum. One completed task builds belief. One shift in how you deal with discomfort can reshape your future.

So ask yourself: What have I been avoiding? What can I do right now to move one step forward?

Then do it. That’s how you take your time back. That’s how you build your confidence.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

Overcoming Self-Doubt with Lasting Confidence

2025-05-27 ~ adminlife

How to Beat Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence

Everyone deals with self-doubt. It doesn’t matter how successful, smart or experienced you are — doubt creeps in. The key isn’t to avoid it entirely; the key is to recognize it, manage it and move forward anyway.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

This article explores how to turn self-doubt into self-trust using actionable strategies. Whether you’re chasing personal goals or working through daily stressors, these tools will help you rebuild your inner confidence and stay focused on what really matters — your own journey.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Why comparison is a confidence killer:
Social media, professional success, relationships — there’s no shortage of things to compare yourself to. The result? You feel behind. Less than. Not enough. But the truth is, comparison distorts reality. It ignores the complexity of everyone’s situation and reduces your worth to someone else’s highlight reel.

What to do instead:
Train your brain to notice when you’re comparing, and interrupt the thought. Remind yourself that you’re not behind — you’re on a different path. Everyone’s story unfolds differently. What you see from others is a snapshot, not the whole story.

Quick practice:
Start a “my wins” journal. At the end of each day, write one thing you did well. This rewires your focus from comparison to progress.

2. Drop the Weight of the Past

Why the past breeds doubt:
Old mistakes, regrets, and failures can haunt you. They make you second-guess your decisions, your instincts and your potential. But the past is a reference point, not a sentence.

What to do instead:
Acknowledge the past, learn from it, then let it go. You’re not the same person you were back then. You’ve grown. You’ve changed. The person you are now deserves a fresh start.

Quick practice:
Try this grounding exercise: When you’re stuck in the past, pause and list three things you’re grateful for right now. Gratitude shifts focus from regret to reality.

3. Redefine Failure as Feedback

Why failure feels like proof of inadequacy:
When things go wrong, it’s easy to think, “See? I knew I wasn’t good enough.” That’s self-doubt talking. But failure isn’t personal — it’s part of learning. It doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means you’re growing.

What to do instead:
When failure happens, pause and ask: What did I learn? What will I do differently next time? Shift from shame to strategy. This habit builds resilience.

Quick practice:
After a setback, write down three lessons learned. This keeps you moving forward rather than stuck in self-blame.

4. Build a Strong Support System

Why support matters:
Self-doubt thrives in isolation. When you keep everything bottled up, small worries become huge. But when you talk to someone, things become clearer and lighter.

What to do instead:
Create a personal support system. This can be close friends, family, a coach or even online communities. It doesn’t have to be large — just reliable. Someone who listens without judgment and reminds you of your worth.

Quick practice:
Reach out to one person today. Just to talk. You don’t have to unload everything — just connect. Building trust in others helps build trust in yourself.

5. Add Confidence Habits to Your Daily Routine

Self-doubt isn’t solved by one-time inspiration. It’s managed through daily action. These micro-habits strengthen confidence over time.

Examples include:

Positive self-talk: Replace “I can’t do this” with “I’m figuring this out.”
Daily goals: Keep small promises to yourself. Completing even one task a day builds momentum.
Mindfulness or meditation: Regular practice quiets the noise of self-doubt and helps you focus.
Body language: Standing tall, maintaining eye contact and smiling more often can physically influence how you feel.
Self-care routines: Fuel your body and mind with proper sleep, nutrition and movement.

6. Recognize Triggers and Patterns

The better you understand your self-doubt, the easier it is to manage. Begin tracking when and why it shows up. Is it before public speaking? After seeing certain people? On social media?

What to do instead:
Notice the patterns. Then start creating boundaries around those triggers. That might mean logging off Instagram more often, saying no to toxic conversations or preparing differently for high-pressure events.

Quick practice:
Create a “doubt diary.” Each time self-doubt hits, write down:

What triggered it
What you felt
How you responded
Over time, you’ll spot patterns — and learn how to break them.

7. Visualize Success Instead of Fear

When you’re stuck in self-doubt, your brain replays everything that could go wrong. Flip that script. Imagine what could go right.

What to do instead:
Take a few minutes to visualize your success. Picture the moment you finish the task. Hear the applause, feel the relief. Visualization primes your brain to believe it’s possible.

Quick practice:
Before any high-stress event, close your eyes and mentally rehearse the outcome you want. Do this consistently, and your brain starts to see success as familiar, not foreign.

8. Accept That Confidence is a Process

Confidence isn’t a destination — it’s a practice. You don’t “arrive” and stay there forever. Some days will be stronger than others, and that’s okay. What matters is that you stay committed to showing up anyway.

What to do instead:
Drop the perfectionism. Give yourself room to feel uncertain sometimes. You’re human. Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt — it’s the ability to keep going in spite of it.

Quick reminder:
You’re allowed to not have it all figured out. You’re allowed to be a work in progress. That doesn’t make you weak — it makes you real.

Your Confidence Is Already Within You

You don’t need to become someone else to be confident. You just need to reconnect with the version of yourself that already knows how to keep going, even when things feel hard.

Self-doubt will come and go, but these practices help you keep your footing.

Confidence is built through action. And each time you take a small, intentional step forward — even while feeling uncertain — you’re proving to yourself that you’re capable. That you’re enough. That you’ve got this.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Stop Holding Yourself Back: 6 Toxic Beliefs That Destroy Confidence

2025-05-26 ~ adminlife

What we believe becomes the lens through which we see the world — and ourselves. The problem? A lot of us are walking around with beliefs that don’t just dim our confidence — they wreck it. These aren’t just harmless thoughts. They’re destructive mental loops that sabotage our progress, keep us stuck and drain our self-worth.

But here’s the good news: beliefs are not permanent. They’re habits of thought. And like any habit, they can be changed.

Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.

It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.

This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.

You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.

You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@coachmichaelw.com

Visit the site and read through the program description.

If you want real confidence — grounded, unshakable confidence — start with the root: your beliefs. Below are six of the most common self-destructive beliefs, how they’re ruining your momentum, and what to replace them with instead.

1. “I’ll Never Have the Life I Want”

This belief is self-sabotage in disguise. It convinces you to give up before you’ve even started. Why? Because it feels easier to quit than to risk failure.

But here’s the reality: no one builds the life they want without struggle, setbacks and effort. If you decide your dreams are unreachable, you give up the only power that can make them happen — your ability to act.

What to do instead:

Flip the script: “I’m working every day toward the life I want — and here’s what I can do today.”
Break big goals into small, doable steps. Progress is the antidote to despair.
Track your wins, no matter how small. They remind you that momentum is real.

This shift turns hopelessness into agency. And agency is where confidence lives.

2. “It’s Just Like My Mom Said — I’ll Never Amount to Anything”

Maybe it wasn’t your mom. Maybe it was a teacher, an ex, or someone else who made you feel small. Their voice stuck — and now it sounds like your own. This belief is especially toxic because it comes laced with guilt, shame and unresolved pain.

But here’s the thing: just because someone said something about you doesn’t make it true.

Why this belief needs to go:

Your identity doesn’t belong to your past.
Even if someone else shaped your early thoughts, you get to shape the rest.
Loyalty to old pain keeps you from loyalty to your potential.

Replace it with: “I decide who I become through my choices today—not someone else’s opinion yesterday.”

Confidence grows when you stop letting someone else’s script define your story.

3. “I’m Not Attractive Enough to Find Love”

This one’s more common than most people admit. We compare ourselves to filtered influencers and end up believing we’re not worthy of love unless we meet some impossible standard.

Here’s the truth: attraction isn’t just about looks. And connection definitely isn’t about perfection.

Reality check:

Look around — people of all shapes, sizes and appearances find love every day.
Confidence, warmth, humour, kindness and emotional intelligence are all wildly attractive traits.
You don’t have to be “hot.” You have to be real, and open and ready.

New belief to adopt: “I’m worthy of love as I am — and I’m working on becoming the best version of myself, for me.”

Confidence isn’t built in the mirror. It’s built in how you show up.

4. “This Is Just the Way Life Is — I Can’t Change Anything”

This fatalistic mindset is a dream killer. It convinces you to surrender to your circumstances instead of fighting for better ones. It strips you of your power and excuses inaction.

Here’s what’s real:

You may not control everything, but you always control something.
Every small choice — what you eat, how you speak to yourself, what you prioritize — creates momentum.
People reinvent themselves every day. Why not you?

Rewrite the belief: “My life is built one decision at a time — and I can change direction whenever I choose.”

The moment you accept responsibility, you take back the steering wheel. And confidence follows.

5. “I’m Not Smart Enough to Get the Career I Want”

This belief keeps people stuck in jobs they hate, underestimating themselves and never even trying for better. But intelligence isn’t fixed, and most jobs don’t require you to be a genius. They require grit, learning, and action.

Let’s reframe it:

Intelligence isn’t what you were born with — it’s what you build.
Employers don’t just want “smart” — they want problem-solvers, communicators and people who get things done.
You can learn new skills. You can improve. You can become competent — and then confident.

New mindset: “I might not know everything now, but I can learn anything I need.”

That belief alone will take you further than raw talent ever could.

6. “Money Problems Just Follow Me — I Can’t Fix Them”

This is one of the most damaging beliefs people carry — and it’s usually formed after years of financial stress, fear and guilt. But believing your money situation is out of your hands only guarantees one thing: it will stay that way.

Here’s the truth:

Your finances are a skill set, not a moral judgment.
Budgeting, saving and building wealth are learnable.
Even small income earners can build security with the right habits.

What to do next:

Track your spending — clarity is step one.
Create a simple, sustainable budget.
Get support: a book, a coach, a money-savvy friend. There’s no shame in learning.

New belief: “I’m capable of mastering my money — step by step.”

When you take control of your finances, your confidence skyrockets. Nothing feels better than freedom.

Confidence Starts With What You Believe

Confidence isn’t just about what you do. It’s about what you believe when no one’s watching.

If your mind is filled with thoughts like, “I’m not enough,” or “Things will never get better,” then of course you’ll feel stuck. But once you replace those lies with empowering truths, everything starts to shift.

You stop waiting. You start acting. You stop shrinking. You start showing up.

So start today. Pick one belief that’s been dragging you down — and rewrite it. Then act like it’s already true. That’s how confidence is built: one thought, one step, one win at a time.

To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.

Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.

Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.

Nothing happens until action is taken.

To your success.

Michael

P.P.S if you want to find out more about my programs just check out the site Confidence and Life Coaching

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash